Why...Us
Reversed Joining Nonets17 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This reversed nonets, Why Us, has the proper formatting and shows that the future depends on the present eliminating the missteps of the past to give them a chance at success.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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This reversed nonets, Why Us, has the proper formatting and shows that the future depends on the present eliminating the missteps of the past to give them a chance at success.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from patcelaw
This is so beautifully written. I had to go back and read it a couple times just to try to get all of the message that you have here because there is a great message here. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. If you would, I would like to ask you if you would say a short prayer for me. I am in rehab and I have a very busy day today and I have two broken bones so it's gonna be rather difficult for me. Patricia.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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This is so beautifully written. I had to go back and read it a couple times just to try to get all of the message that you have here because there is a great message here. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. If you would, I would like to ask you if you would say a short prayer for me. I am in rehab and I have a very busy day today and I have two broken bones so it's gonna be rather difficult for me. Patricia.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you Patricia, and I will most definitely say a prayer for you, and all my wishes will be sent your way, hope you have a speedy recovery, get well soon****kahpot
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellently said and done! Your cleverly constructed verse flows well and is all the better for a lack of punctuation. The message it conveys is powerful in its validity to reduce our carbon footprint and do much better for future generations. Your metaphor of the sea is a skilful one in its illustration of meaning and understanding left potentially drowning in its depths. This is deserving of 6 but sadly I have none. Well done. Profound and stirring! Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Excellently said and done! Your cleverly constructed verse flows well and is all the better for a lack of punctuation. The message it conveys is powerful in its validity to reduce our carbon footprint and do much better for future generations. Your metaphor of the sea is a skilful one in its illustration of meaning and understanding left potentially drowning in its depths. This is deserving of 6 but sadly I have none. Well done. Profound and stirring! Debbie
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you so very much Debbie, I just do hope that we can show a better future for the next generation, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Tom Horonzy
First, the photograph is spectacular. Is it your own?
Secondly, I never gave punctuation its due. Reading this can be directed to where the reader thinks it should go.
Creative!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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First, the photograph is spectacular. Is it your own?
Secondly, I never gave punctuation its due. Reading this can be directed to where the reader thinks it should go.
Creative!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you Tom, the photo is from "getty images" I think, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Paul Manton
Well done, kahpot, on taking on this 'diamond nonet' configuration.
Yes, a timely appeal to all of us to deal with our global problems before it is too late.
[One word I think you should change - 'erase' our stride should change to 'slacken' to make sense - otherwise our stride would altogether disappear.
But if that's what you meant, do keep it. Perhaps an even better word, though, would be 'reverse' our stride?]
I liked several phrases here - 'unbridged waters' works very well - also 'follow in footprints made'. These lift the poem to a higher level.
Thank you, kahpot, for this well-constructed and rather ambitious poem, which succeeds brilliantly.
Paul
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Well done, kahpot, on taking on this 'diamond nonet' configuration.
Yes, a timely appeal to all of us to deal with our global problems before it is too late.
[One word I think you should change - 'erase' our stride should change to 'slacken' to make sense - otherwise our stride would altogether disappear.
But if that's what you meant, do keep it. Perhaps an even better word, though, would be 'reverse' our stride?]
I liked several phrases here - 'unbridged waters' works very well - also 'follow in footprints made'. These lift the poem to a higher level.
Thank you, kahpot, for this well-constructed and rather ambitious poem, which succeeds brilliantly.
Paul
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you Paul, I like the idea of reverse and will try it when finished here, your comments of help and what you like and why are so very helpful, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You're welcome, kahpot
Paul
Comment from royowen
I somehow doubt that man will change, everything's in God's hand, but funnily enough God is happy for man to change, but will he, if history's a guide we collectively will not, a beautifully written back to back nonet, well done, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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I somehow doubt that man will change, everything's in God's hand, but funnily enough God is happy for man to change, but will he, if history's a guide we collectively will not, a beautifully written back to back nonet, well done, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you Roy, I agree with your thinking and that things won't change, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Most welcome
Comment from JT traveller
Fantastic message.A lovely and creative poem. The lack of punctuation allowed the reader to pause at their own point of reflection.
Good presentation and food for thought. Thank you, Jacqueline
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Fantastic message.A lovely and creative poem. The lack of punctuation allowed the reader to pause at their own point of reflection.
Good presentation and food for thought. Thank you, Jacqueline
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2023
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Thank you Jacqueline, if I'm honest, I am not comfortable about punctuation, I am concentrating on syllables, so one suffers, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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I have subscribed to Grammarly. It drives me nuts. Haha. JT
