Our Cosmic Family
Put pen to paper Potlatch Poetery Club entry28 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I loved the poem and noted the internal rhymes...unforced and truly enhancing the flow (which is not always the case!) I do not think I've heard of this form but it intrigues me and it's gooing on my wish list of forms to try...
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I loved the poem and noted the internal rhymes...unforced and truly enhancing the flow (which is not always the case!) I do not think I've heard of this form but it intrigues me and it's gooing on my wish list of forms to try...
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I would delight in reading your creation on a future date
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I'll chat with my muse. She's often on her own version of a writer's strike.
:)
Comment from Wendy G
This looks like a quite difficult form to master, but you did it very well, with smoothness of rhyme, internal and end, and very lyrical imagery. Immenseness and denseness was a clever pairing.
I liked the sense of oneness with the fox as each finds his place not only in the night sky but also with each other.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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This looks like a quite difficult form to master, but you did it very well, with smoothness of rhyme, internal and end, and very lyrical imagery. Immenseness and denseness was a clever pairing.
I liked the sense of oneness with the fox as each finds his place not only in the night sky but also with each other.
Wendy
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Wendy thank you so very much, I enjoyed this poetic style.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wonderful rhyming that flows well and doesn't sound forced. It's a well written Florette poem with good form and composition.
All sentient beings are interconnected... this realization is one of the secrets of a happy and peaceful life. From a sense of separation comes suffering. We are all connected like the fox and the hiker.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Wonderful rhyming that flows well and doesn't sound forced. It's a well written Florette poem with good form and composition.
All sentient beings are interconnected... this realization is one of the secrets of a happy and peaceful life. From a sense of separation comes suffering. We are all connected like the fox and the hiker.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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GypsyRoseBlue, I have always felt that you have a great understanding about our world in which we have chosen to live and co-create in this lifetime. Thank you for validating this with your wonderful comment. Jim
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
I enjoyed your poem of the different kind of stars - all part of God's created "family." I like the way you highlighted the bond we share in this strangely rhymed florette.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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I enjoyed your poem of the different kind of stars - all part of God's created "family." I like the way you highlighted the bond we share in this strangely rhymed florette.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023
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Verna, my appreciation is overflowing from your kind words thank you.
Comment from TPAC
I loved it, finding a strong poetic structuring, throughout its course read, compiling thoughts captivating to my interests. My opinion making this write: all of that.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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I loved it, finding a strong poetic structuring, throughout its course read, compiling thoughts captivating to my interests. My opinion making this write: all of that.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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TPAC, thanks. 👍
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Some great rhyming in your well written Florette poem JLR. The grey fox sharing, enjoying many starry nights together. Good work with the immenseness and denseness rhymes. Nicely done. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Some great rhyming in your well written Florette poem JLR. The grey fox sharing, enjoying many starry nights together. Good work with the immenseness and denseness rhymes. Nicely done. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Valda, thank you very, very much!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is a beautiful example of a florette poem.
I have not tried to write one, but your has inspired me to give it a try.
The rhyming pattern creates a timber that flows just right.
The lines move from one to the next, stanza to stanza effortlessly.
"The grey fox eyes were quite aglow," great imagery.
The overall presentation is "jaw-dropping"!!
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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This is a beautiful example of a florette poem.
I have not tried to write one, but your has inspired me to give it a try.
The rhyming pattern creates a timber that flows just right.
The lines move from one to the next, stanza to stanza effortlessly.
"The grey fox eyes were quite aglow," great imagery.
The overall presentation is "jaw-dropping"!!
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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K.L. Good success to you on yours, I found this style exceptionally challenging. I value your kind remarks. Thank you, Jim
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Who or what was perched on the rocks??????????????????????????????????
I assume you are the grey fox?????????????????????????????????????????
I am amazed that I finally get the Haiku down, then the tanka shows up while learning that the florette shows it's face, they just keep coming! You do good work. Karen
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Who or what was perched on the rocks??????????????????????????????????
I assume you are the grey fox?????????????????????????????????????????
I am amazed that I finally get the Haiku down, then the tanka shows up while learning that the florette shows it's face, they just keep coming! You do good work. Karen
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Karen, the true value of FS, for me, comes with the depth and breadth of poetic styles. Four years ago, when I joined FS, I was such a neophyte and now feel I have graduated to at least the minor leagues in poetic verse.
perhaps a hiker sensing his higher self (Over Soul) connecting with the Grey Fox in awe of celestial beauty creating a sense oneness
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I am learning the length and breadth of poetry. I always dismissed poetry as frivilous.
Boy, did I have a lot to learn. My first try at a lune was one of the hardest things I ever wrote. "The remittance" read that and tell me what you think.
Karen
Comment from jim vecchio
Okay! You've proved you're a top notch poet who can conquer a floret. Now, try a "le bookenetto". If you don't know, you can forget I said it! I tried a floret but forgot tht internal rhyme. Thanks for showing me how to do it!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Okay! You've proved you're a top notch poet who can conquer a floret. Now, try a "le bookenetto". If you don't know, you can forget I said it! I tried a floret but forgot tht internal rhyme. Thanks for showing me how to do it!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Jim, as I smile I send my sincere thanks. I found this style quite exceptional as it began to flow.
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I will have to try it again soon!
Comment from Bill Schott
This florette, Our Cosmic Family, has the proper formatting and imagines our collected souls, of all creatures, drawn into this enlightened moment, when everything makes perfect sense.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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This florette, Our Cosmic Family, has the proper formatting and imagines our collected souls, of all creatures, drawn into this enlightened moment, when everything makes perfect sense.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Thanks Bill, have a solid week, Jim
