You'd Better Hide
Avoid this fate26 total reviews
Comment from JSD
No! I didn't! I thought it was a poem against knife-crime, which is a bit of a plague in the UK's cities at present. But very funny and a great release at the end. Well done and good luck!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
  |
No! I didn't! I thought it was a poem against knife-crime, which is a bit of a plague in the UK's cities at present. But very funny and a great release at the end. Well done and good luck!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Thanks, John. Mission accomplished!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
It took me until "extract from you your innards" before I realized you were speaking of pumpkins and Jack o' lanterns:-)
Of course, that picture at the bottom was a "dead" giveaway.
A fun poem for Halloween, Jim. Why didn't you enter it into the Halloween poetry contest?
Happy Halloween!
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
It took me until "extract from you your innards" before I realized you were speaking of pumpkins and Jack o' lanterns:-)
Of course, that picture at the bottom was a "dead" giveaway.
A fun poem for Halloween, Jim. Why didn't you enter it into the Halloween poetry contest?
Happy Halloween!
xo
Pam
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
You got it very quickly then, Pam! I debated about the picture at the end, but thought it might be helpful for those who don't know my strange sense of humor.
Honestly, I wasn't aware there was a contest. Didn't even think about it. I don't enter many any more.
Comment from gramalot8
This is quite the gory st... and I was thinking how horrible to write of such terrible tragedy of slash... and then I saw the photo at the end... what? Lol... I had to read your note to finally get it... and I loved it! Great Halloween humor. Thanks for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
This is quite the gory st... and I was thinking how horrible to write of such terrible tragedy of slash... and then I saw the photo at the end... what? Lol... I had to read your note to finally get it... and I loved it! Great Halloween humor. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Loved your review! Thanks so much.
Comment from Lisasview
Good morning Jim,
Still dark here in Spain as we moved are clocks back... love gaining an hour...
Really enjoyed your Halloween story.
What form of poetry did you use. Do you know the name?
Seems like L1 and L2 rhyme, then L3 and L6 and then 4 and 5 rhyme ( but plaque and beg do not rhyme??)
Just trying to make sense of it all.
Lisa
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
Good morning Jim,
Still dark here in Spain as we moved are clocks back... love gaining an hour...
Really enjoyed your Halloween story.
What form of poetry did you use. Do you know the name?
Seems like L1 and L2 rhyme, then L3 and L6 and then 4 and 5 rhyme ( but plaque and beg do not rhyme??)
Just trying to make sense of it all.
Lisa
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Happy you enjoyed it, Lisa. The meter and rhyme scheme are my own creation. It may exist somewhere and have a name, but I'm unaware of it if it does.
The word in line 4 of the last stanza is "plague" not "plaque," and, where I come from, "beg" is often pronounced as if it were spelled "baig" rather than with a short e sound.
-
Oh goodness... really baig... where is it pronounced like that Jim...maybe in the south???
But since none of your other words had a variation on sound I thought you might want to find a better word...just food for thought..
Lisa
Comment from Daylily
This is a very clever read...and it is even a fun one when you go back and read it a second time with the new meaning in mind.
Now I am starting to drool as my thoughts suddenly turn to pumpkin pie with a dab of whipped cream on the top. LOL
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
This is a very clever read...and it is even a fun one when you go back and read it a second time with the new meaning in mind.
Now I am starting to drool as my thoughts suddenly turn to pumpkin pie with a dab of whipped cream on the top. LOL
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you weren't too horrified until you caught on!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fun post Jim, a pumpkin carve up here and I had a feeling if would be something innocent. Always well written with perfect metre and a joy to read, a fine post for Halloween, you should have entered this into the contest! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
 |
This is a fun post Jim, a pumpkin carve up here and I had a feeling if would be something innocent. Always well written with perfect metre and a joy to read, a fine post for Halloween, you should have entered this into the contest! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Thanks so much, Dolly, for your wonderful review and the 6 stars. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. You know me well enough by now to know something was probably up.
Comment from Wendy G
No I didn't guess. Halloween is not big over here, and the ones who do it tend to get plastic skeletons and spiders etc. Of course it is spring in Australia too, so we don't carve pumpkins. A fine poem for adults! Lol. Very cleverly written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
No I didn't guess. Halloween is not big over here, and the ones who do it tend to get plastic skeletons and spiders etc. Of course it is spring in Australia too, so we don't carve pumpkins. A fine poem for adults! Lol. Very cleverly written.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Thanks so much, Wendy. Happy to have tricked you!
Comment from lyenochka
Man, it's too hard to carve up an acorn squash much less a pumpkin. I like how you made this seem like a horror post but it's really about creating jack o' lanterns.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
Man, it's too hard to carve up an acorn squash much less a pumpkin. I like how you made this seem like a horror post but it's really about creating jack o' lanterns.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Thanks, Helen. I got the idea for this while helping my grandson carve a pumpkin the other day. I started thinking about it from the pumpkin's point of view.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Ooooooo. Wow! Super creepy! Is that like lizzie borden or the movie halloween? Whatever it is, it's given me the creeps. I wouldn't want to read that to any kid before they go trick-or-treating LOL. Excellent work really creepy picture. I love the red text got a nice package here. You really made it stand out. Excellent job and a fine submission good luck to you to have a great night!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2023
|
Ooooooo. Wow! Super creepy! Is that like lizzie borden or the movie halloween? Whatever it is, it's given me the creeps. I wouldn't want to read that to any kid before they go trick-or-treating LOL. Excellent work really creepy picture. I love the red text got a nice package here. You really made it stand out. Excellent job and a fine submission good luck to you to have a great night!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2023
-
I got the idea for this while carving a pumpkin with my grandson yesterday. I started feeling sorry for the pumpkins and thought they could use the warning.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a delightful poem leaving the reader wondering who the victim will be until the last verse with the pumpkin picture. It really did sound gruesome and was so well written and rhymed that it was a joy to read.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
|
This is a delightful poem leaving the reader wondering who the victim will be until the last verse with the pumpkin picture. It really did sound gruesome and was so well written and rhymed that it was a joy to read.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023
-
Thanks so much Carol for the wonderful review and the 6 stars too.
Most people who read this (including my wife) needed that picture at the end for a clue of what this was about.
