Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Norm, This is a very well written poem about what love is. You used very good heart felt and descriptive words and very nice imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Teri. Always good to hear from you.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Teri. Always good to hear from you.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Teri. Always good to hear from you.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Teri. Always good to hear from you.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Teri. Always good to hear from you.

reply by Teri7 on 15-Dec-2023

you are so welcome Norm! Blessings and Merry. Christmas! Teri

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Nicely written, I think memories can be like Chinese whispers, they can morph into something they should be, want to be, or even, God forbid, as they actually were, beautifully written,. We owned 13 cats, and five dogs, most loved long lives, but I remember every single one, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks and blessings to you also, Roy.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks and blessings to you also, Roy.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks and blessings to you also, Roy.

reply by royowen on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks and blessings to you also, Roy.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks and blessings to you also, Roy.

Comment from Sarita Méndez

Excellent

What a beautiful text, and so touching poem that I'm now crying after finishing to read it!
Your words are so evocative, and the feelings you describe are so true.
Thank you very much for sharing this text and good luck for the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Sarita. Always glad to evoke emotions writing and having my own evoked reading.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Sarita. Always glad to evoke emotions writing and having my own evoked reading.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Sarita. Always glad to evoke emotions writing and having my own evoked reading.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Sarita. Always glad to evoke emotions writing and having my own evoked reading.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Sarita. Always glad to evoke emotions writing and having my own evoked reading.

Comment from Ginda Simpson

Excellent

This reads like a song, at once joyful and at the same time melancholy. But love is what shines through these memories of what was "Then." Beautifully written, freely expressed, deeply felt. Best wishes.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. Deeply felt, for sure.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. Deeply felt, for sure.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. Deeply felt, for sure.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. Deeply felt, for sure.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Ginda. Deeply felt, for sure.

Comment from Lisasview

Excellent

First read of yours Norm and of course your lovely words were so heartfelt.... A different sort of poetry than I usually see..and, I did like it.
I have only been on Fan Story a few months...it has been quite an adventure...
I am from California, living now fro the past 3 years in Spain and loving it.
Lisasview

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa (same special name as my middle daughter). Being on FanStory is an adventure. Where in California are you?

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa (same special name as my middle daughter). Being on FanStory is an adventure. Where in California are you?

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa (same special name as my middle daughter). Being on FanStory is an adventure. Where in California are you?

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa (same special name as my middle daughter). Being on FanStory is an adventure. Where in California are you?

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thank you, Lisa (same special name as my middle daughter). Being on FanStory is an adventure. Where in California are you?

reply by Lisasview on 15-Dec-2023

Hi Norm,
We were in California.... lived directly on the beach (Silverstrand Beach) in Ventura County... We now live in Costa Blanca, Spain full time... Already over three years...
Why, do you ask? Do you live in California?
Lisa

reply by Lisasview on 15-Dec-2023

This is a duplicate respond from you...
Lisa

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023

Had condo in Sac area for many years. Born in LA.

reply by Lisasview on 15-Dec-2023

Oh Born in L.A.
So did you go to school there?
Might have gone to the same schools... but then again I have no idea how old you are???
Lisa

reply by the author on 15-Dec-2023

I think it was called Harriet Elementary in South Gate.

Comment from Rachelle Allen

Excellent

This was lovely. It flowed gently and nostalgically without even the teeniest hint of a rush. The images were vivid and deliberate and beautifully drawn. Poignant, yet beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Good luck with it in the contest. It should do very well. xo

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Rachelle, for the nice review.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Rachelle, for the nice review.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Rachelle, for the nice review.

reply by Rachelle Allen on 14-Dec-2023

My pleasure!!

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Rachelle, for the nice review.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Rachelle, for the nice review.

reply by Rachelle Allen on 15-Dec-2023

You're welcome. In fact, you're welcome five times, because that how many individual thank-you responses you bestowed!! xo

Comment from Bryce 1

Excellent

This was quite good! I appreciate the sentiments here and the vibe is calm. The imagery looks to me like a woman recounting some fond memories. The end caps off with what seems like a tear that the writer was holding back the whole time.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Bryce. That tear was not held back.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Bryce. That tear was not held back.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Bryce. That tear was not held back.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Bryce. That tear was not held back.

reply by the author on 14-Dec-2023

Thanks, Bryce. That tear was not held back.

Comment from Austin Yu

Excellent

Your story was such an emotional ride for me. I like how the story contrasts her then vs. now on the deathbed and all the happiness she brought into your life in her days when she was still healthy. I love the message that we should appreciate every single second of life with another person.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023

Thank you, Austin. We did appreciate each second together. I hope you still are.

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

This is such a beautiful and very well written piece of poetry in which you have described what love is to you. It is a very sad but lovely poem.
"Yes, she gladly gave
Her life for you
Her days for you
Her nights for you".
Good luck with this.


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023

Thank you, Wendyanne.
You are very kind.