Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Until We Meet Again"Nefarious Deeds
18 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I can't get over how your profile pic seems to fit the image I have of you in this post! Your story is wonderful and reads effortlessly with humour, intrigue and sheer mischief! A predictable ending of course but that's your favourite genre and you do it so well. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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I can't get over how your profile pic seems to fit the image I have of you in this post! Your story is wonderful and reads effortlessly with humour, intrigue and sheer mischief! A predictable ending of course but that's your favourite genre and you do it so well. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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This icon is my most favorite one yet. This is the inner me. Thanks for the read. Karen
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I sure wish you hadn't posted this one so late in the week when all my sixes are gone, but I certainly enjoyed reading every word of it and I don't think you'll have any problem getting that chartreuse plus signed added. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Well, I sure wish you hadn't posted this one so late in the week when all my sixes are gone, but I certainly enjoyed reading every word of it and I don't think you'll have any problem getting that chartreuse plus signed added. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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My sixes are gone too. You got my last one. In fact, I hunted down a story of yours I hadn't read, and that wasn't easy to find. I eventually will have read them all. I think you have read all of mine! Thanks for the read. Karen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Seems Lil Ollie got his.
Story would be more interesting if "Wendy-Poo" did too for sicking Ollie on the lesby assassin in the first place.
Must have been a heck of a first date though.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Seems Lil Ollie got his.
Story would be more interesting if "Wendy-Poo" did too for sicking Ollie on the lesby assassin in the first place.
Must have been a heck of a first date though.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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That's why she killed him in her house. Silly boy.
Payback. Living with someone dying in your house
I would have to move. :-) Karen
Comment from Sarita Méndez
Very good! It seems to me that I had already read this a while ago, but I enjoyed it again and I review it again with the same pleasure!
You wrote a good twist at the end!
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Very good! It seems to me that I had already read this a while ago, but I enjoyed it again and I review it again with the same pleasure!
You wrote a good twist at the end!
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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It was removed a few minutes after I posted it several months ago because I posted it on the wrong page. I finally talked to Tom and he told me what to do. It did not have any reviews on it so, I was allowed to change the name and repost. I have edited it a lot and added stuff to it. But you remembered the bones. Thank you so much for that. :-) Karen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I would not like to have here angry with me. I enjoyed reading this story. I would suggest keeping an eye on your dialogue, punctuation and capitalization in dialogue is important. Â
When the sheriff called me he had said minimal blood. (comma after 'me' because of 'When')
I told him that yes I knew Oliver, but only very slightly. (comma after 'yes')
She said, "he was just right for me". &
He said, "he would meet me at "Carbello's". ("He...)
If a person wants to date me I feel they should make an effort, (comma after 'me,' because of the 'If')
She said, "that he was always polite, ("That...)
She said, "he always had lovely manners ("He...)
"Long time no see, He said." TRY - "Long time no see, " he said.)
"Hello Oliver, have you found any jewels here yet? "
"Nope, I haven't been here long. Take my basket for your books here; I can get another, and those look heavy." (Two people speaking they each deserve their own paragraph.)
"Well, said the sheriff, his friend Wallace tells me (comma after 'friend,')
Arlo Jenkins, you may be sheriff of Lindale, Texas, (missing beginning quotation marks)
Arlo said, " he had your phone number on a piece of paper in his hand." & He said "he was at Wendy's, she was in trouble and needed my help. ("He...)
"What in the blue blazes are you doing, "I asked. (doing?" I asked)
"Okay, well, there you go then," He said, (he said.)
"Well, you are not my type Oliver. (comma after 'type' you're addressing Oliver)
"No thank you, (comma after 'No,')
He was trying to force me to kiss him. Finally, I said. "Alright, I will kiss you if you put the gun down." (TRY - He tried to force me to kiss him. Finally, I said, "Alright, I will kiss you if you put the gun down." First sentence was passive it need to be active and a comma after 'said,')
I raised the gun, and said, "Are you looking for this?" (and asked -- it's a question)
I went back in, My knife made tiny little slivers of his skin roll down like paper-thin cheese at a deli counter. (I went back in. My)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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I would not like to have here angry with me. I enjoyed reading this story. I would suggest keeping an eye on your dialogue, punctuation and capitalization in dialogue is important. Â
When the sheriff called me he had said minimal blood. (comma after 'me' because of 'When')
I told him that yes I knew Oliver, but only very slightly. (comma after 'yes')
She said, "he was just right for me". &
He said, "he would meet me at "Carbello's". ("He...)
If a person wants to date me I feel they should make an effort, (comma after 'me,' because of the 'If')
She said, "that he was always polite, ("That...)
She said, "he always had lovely manners ("He...)
"Long time no see, He said." TRY - "Long time no see, " he said.)
"Hello Oliver, have you found any jewels here yet? "
"Nope, I haven't been here long. Take my basket for your books here; I can get another, and those look heavy." (Two people speaking they each deserve their own paragraph.)
"Well, said the sheriff, his friend Wallace tells me (comma after 'friend,')
Arlo Jenkins, you may be sheriff of Lindale, Texas, (missing beginning quotation marks)
Arlo said, " he had your phone number on a piece of paper in his hand." & He said "he was at Wendy's, she was in trouble and needed my help. ("He...)
"What in the blue blazes are you doing, "I asked. (doing?" I asked)
"Okay, well, there you go then," He said, (he said.)
"Well, you are not my type Oliver. (comma after 'type' you're addressing Oliver)
"No thank you, (comma after 'No,')
He was trying to force me to kiss him. Finally, I said. "Alright, I will kiss you if you put the gun down." (TRY - He tried to force me to kiss him. Finally, I said, "Alright, I will kiss you if you put the gun down." First sentence was passive it need to be active and a comma after 'said,')
I raised the gun, and said, "Are you looking for this?" (and asked -- it's a question)
I went back in, My knife made tiny little slivers of his skin roll down like paper-thin cheese at a deli counter. (I went back in. My)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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I did all your edits but one, thank you for your eagle eye, and I found another. I hate dialogue. I am a misery at that grammar.
Give me narration any day. Karen
Comment from royowen
I'm glad I never crossed the vengeful, not very sympathetic, can I call him a protagonist or an antagonist in rhis story. All that blood. Not really my style of story. I'm not a romantic romantic, but in that style, beautifully wrutten, blessings Karen, but great job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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I'm glad I never crossed the vengeful, not very sympathetic, can I call him a protagonist or an antagonist in rhis story. All that blood. Not really my style of story. I'm not a romantic romantic, but in that style, beautifully wrutten, blessings Karen, but great job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thanks for the read. I appreciate you getting through it. Karen
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My pleasure
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow,sister you kill the pig:) and for the first time I don't want any chorisso:) For one moment I was thinking of my ex, but I never picture murdering him because he is putting his foot in his mouth every day when picks up demoiselles in distress and I guess I was one idiot that fell for him completely.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Wow,sister you kill the pig:) and for the first time I don't want any chorisso:) For one moment I was thinking of my ex, but I never picture murdering him because he is putting his foot in his mouth every day when picks up demoiselles in distress and I guess I was one idiot that fell for him completely.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Hormones are very dangerous things. I am awaiting the day a clever woman invents a virus that only affects men. :-) Karen
Comment from Mark Childs
Well written piece with a nice twist to finish it off. Did not see that coming. Your story has a nice flow that keeps the reader engaged. Look forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Well written piece with a nice twist to finish it off. Did not see that coming. Your story has a nice flow that keeps the reader engaged. Look forward to reading more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much. This sucker has been edited within an inch of it's life. I hate writing dialogue. I can never remember where all the tags go. I appreciate the read. I will go find one of yours. :-) Karen