Greed Starves Need
A 5-7-5 Poem17 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written and I enjoyed listening to it very much. It is sad in this world that there's so much greed going on and yet there is so much need in place as well so many with so much wealth could do so many good things for people in need and yet they don't. Patricia.
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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This is very well written and I enjoyed listening to it very much. It is sad in this world that there's so much greed going on and yet there is so much need in place as well so many with so much wealth could do so many good things for people in need and yet they don't. Patricia.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, Patricia, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yes, Kym. I love the metaphor of poverty as a living plant. And greed supports the growth of every stem. The Sartori of as young petals fall is every youngster grows needier and greed grows greedier. I see your point and agree with you on these ideas of our country falling under the hood of those who need and are suffering. Keep writing about these important issues. They need to be addressed.
Jesse
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Yes, Kym. I love the metaphor of poverty as a living plant. And greed supports the growth of every stem. The Sartori of as young petals fall is every youngster grows needier and greed grows greedier. I see your point and agree with you on these ideas of our country falling under the hood of those who need and are suffering. Keep writing about these important issues. They need to be addressed.
Jesse
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, Jesse, yes, we never seem to be doing anything about this situation, unfortunately this just continues all over, again thank you for an exceptional review and six stars, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Let's be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Writing such as yours can accomplish that.
Keep up the good work!
Your friend,
Jesse
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your haiku captures the harsh reality of poverty. It's impressive how you share this with just three lines. The idea of poverty growing like a plant, supported by the nourishment of greed, is powerful. I like the word choices including "young petals fall". This shares a sense of loss and vulnerability. Well crafted!
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Your haiku captures the harsh reality of poverty. It's impressive how you share this with just three lines. The idea of poverty growing like a plant, supported by the nourishment of greed, is powerful. I like the word choices including "young petals fall". This shares a sense of loss and vulnerability. Well crafted!
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful and understanding comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Short and neat and somewhat sweet. I get the message loud and clear, and yet I hesitate more than I should with individuals who seemingly fain work, so I leave my donations with my church organization that does remarkable work worldwide without regards to denomination.
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Short and neat and somewhat sweet. I get the message loud and clear, and yet I hesitate more than I should with individuals who seemingly fain work, so I leave my donations with my church organization that does remarkable work worldwide without regards to denomination.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You did a good job with this piece and it's right on the money. It's truly sad just how much truth is conveyed in this short piece.
Greed nourishes so much.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hi there,
You did a good job with this piece and it's right on the money. It's truly sad just how much truth is conveyed in this short piece.
Greed nourishes so much.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, GMG. for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your 5/7/5 poem/ excellent picture presentation of the children supporting it -a very good observation that greed is quite possibly the the root cause of poverty historically- in your poem, you compared it to a flower - Greed supporting every stem - interesting- - stem supporting new growth (flower children) chocking off nourishment, causing pedals to fall- nice analogy- good job-
Only other observation- use of V in the title- does it mean versus? Vs? As I recall most common of V - is in legal documents- jones v. Smith for example- I need to look it up - good Poem-
Bless -AP
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reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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I like your 5/7/5 poem/ excellent picture presentation of the children supporting it -a very good observation that greed is quite possibly the the root cause of poverty historically- in your poem, you compared it to a flower - Greed supporting every stem - interesting- - stem supporting new growth (flower children) chocking off nourishment, causing pedals to fall- nice analogy- good job-
Only other observation- use of V in the title- does it mean versus? Vs? As I recall most common of V - is in legal documents- jones v. Smith for example- I need to look it up - good Poem-
Bless -AP
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, AP. I agree with you and decided to change the title, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Mark Jackson
This is really great writing. I am not a fan of the image here I felt it gets in the way of your words. I love the way your lines intertwine with each other so they are one thing but looking at opposite ends of the spectrum.
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reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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This is really great writing. I am not a fan of the image here I felt it gets in the way of your words. I love the way your lines intertwine with each other so they are one thing but looking at opposite ends of the spectrum.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, Mark, yes, the artwork may need changing, I will see how it goes, as always very much appreciated****kahpot