The Coyote Boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Moons"Story about two brothers who change their destiny.
19 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
I liked Huck stream of thought. How he is wondering if Dewey would inherit the earth. And in the beginning how he wonders if there can really be a bad moon.. well done..
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I liked Huck stream of thought. How he is wondering if Dewey would inherit the earth. And in the beginning how he wonders if there can really be a bad moon.. well done..
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Gretchen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Inspired and a wonderful read! So much about this family is conveyed through the poignant narration. A home of gloom and sorrow under the father's obnoxious oppression. A strong message too that no one should be excused for causing misery and unkindness. The snake seems to be representative of the father's wrongs, though even then deserves a burial. Thanks for sharing your excellent chapter, Gretchen. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Inspired and a wonderful read! So much about this family is conveyed through the poignant narration. A home of gloom and sorrow under the father's obnoxious oppression. A strong message too that no one should be excused for causing misery and unkindness. The snake seems to be representative of the father's wrongs, though even then deserves a burial. Thanks for sharing your excellent chapter, Gretchen. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Debbie. I do look forward to your reviews. They are always so thorough. Very much appreciated. Gretchen
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I feel so sorry for Dewey, and Huck's mother. But that was such a loving thing to do, burying Ben and his lady love together. And the snake, definitely belonged in a seperate hole. I'm sure this story is not going to anything like your others, this is not going to bring many smiles. Very well done, my friend. Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I feel so sorry for Dewey, and Huck's mother. But that was such a loving thing to do, burying Ben and his lady love together. And the snake, definitely belonged in a seperate hole. I'm sure this story is not going to anything like your others, this is not going to bring many smiles. Very well done, my friend. Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I can't seem to find a genre, Sandra. I have too many different characters clamoring in my head. This will be nothing like my others. Just good and evil. How people make the choices they do. I'm glad you are joining me for this. Gretchen
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I have that trouble, so I just go with it. If these stories are clamoring to come out, then that's what you have to do! I'll read all of them. 😊
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The problem with a Father like this, the sons sometimes follow in his footsteps as it is learned behaviour and so the cycle of abuse continues. Another fine chapter with some colourful dialogue too, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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The problem with a Father like this, the sons sometimes follow in his footsteps as it is learned behaviour and so the cycle of abuse continues. Another fine chapter with some colourful dialogue too, much enjoyed, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I'm trying to write the dialogue the way they pronounce words. Auto correct is not liking it. Lol. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Allezw2
Waiting for lightning to strike the wicked, aren't we? Everyone is in character for your vignette of the worst of family life. You've nailed the characters and the circumstances. I'd hope there is a ray of hope for these so woefully abused, somewhere. Live long and write well, Fantasist.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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Waiting for lightning to strike the wicked, aren't we? Everyone is in character for your vignette of the worst of family life. You've nailed the characters and the circumstances. I'd hope there is a ray of hope for these so woefully abused, somewhere. Live long and write well, Fantasist.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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There will be some bright spots along the way. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
I have to check myself when I hear of men like Huck and Dewey's father unleash themselves on a world that doesn't need them, calling your kids names is the pits, and digs an emotional hole hard to crawl out of. I always wanted my kids to have a good self image, and think Elaine and I succeeded, that's something I've had to struggle with. But I never wanted them to struggle with that. Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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I have to check myself when I hear of men like Huck and Dewey's father unleash themselves on a world that doesn't need them, calling your kids names is the pits, and digs an emotional hole hard to crawl out of. I always wanted my kids to have a good self image, and think Elaine and I succeeded, that's something I've had to struggle with. But I never wanted them to struggle with that. Beautifully written Gretchen, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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I despise people like that. They only feel important when berating or humiliating people. It's sad. Thank you for this. Gretchen
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Most welcome G
Comment from Wendy G
Huck is strong, despite his youth, and he is also compassionate. I was touched by his prayers over the animals. They did no harm, and should not have been killed. The father, full of his own self-importance and wielding power, is abusive to people and animals - but there will come a time when Huck stands up to him, and there'll be a show-down. Your story speaks of what is unfortunately normal in the lives of so many women and children - never-ending emotional and physical abuse, with no way out.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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Huck is strong, despite his youth, and he is also compassionate. I was touched by his prayers over the animals. They did no harm, and should not have been killed. The father, full of his own self-importance and wielding power, is abusive to people and animals - but there will come a time when Huck stands up to him, and there'll be a show-down. Your story speaks of what is unfortunately normal in the lives of so many women and children - never-ending emotional and physical abuse, with no way out.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Wendy. I love your take on this. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oy.
This one is going to zap me of all my redheaded toughness and reduce me to tears every chapter, isn't it, you bitch! xoxo
It definitely deserves a six, but I can't wait an almost additional week to review it. So I'll promote it, instead.
This was absolutely fantastic, Gretchen. I can feel the simmer within Huck beginning and know I'm going to be watching for the slow boil that eventually spills over the side and causes a conflagration. His father IS a monster. I'm looking forward to his reckoning.
I loved the scene with the prayers over the birds. So tender and appealing. It really shows Huck's heart in the best way. You're a MASTER at "showing not telling." That's one of my favorite aspects of your writing, in fact.
This sentence I understood: If there was a God, why'd he give us these two?" But this one that followed it, I didn't: "No count, stupid."
Also, when you write "Maw maw," that snags me. I think either MawMaw or Maw-Maw would be less arresting for my eye. But, by the same token, I'm a Northerner. We call our grandmother, "Grandma," so I am hardly an authority on the subject!!!
Great continuation of this story, Gretchen. It entices me to want the next chapter. xoxo
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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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Oy.
This one is going to zap me of all my redheaded toughness and reduce me to tears every chapter, isn't it, you bitch! xoxo
It definitely deserves a six, but I can't wait an almost additional week to review it. So I'll promote it, instead.
This was absolutely fantastic, Gretchen. I can feel the simmer within Huck beginning and know I'm going to be watching for the slow boil that eventually spills over the side and causes a conflagration. His father IS a monster. I'm looking forward to his reckoning.
I loved the scene with the prayers over the birds. So tender and appealing. It really shows Huck's heart in the best way. You're a MASTER at "showing not telling." That's one of my favorite aspects of your writing, in fact.
This sentence I understood: If there was a God, why'd he give us these two?" But this one that followed it, I didn't: "No count, stupid."
Also, when you write "Maw maw," that snags me. I think either MawMaw or Maw-Maw would be less arresting for my eye. But, by the same token, I'm a Northerner. We call our grandmother, "Grandma," so I am hardly an authority on the subject!!!
Great continuation of this story, Gretchen. It entices me to want the next chapter. xoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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I fixed Maw-Maw. The second sentence "no count, stupid." Was just him muttering but I will revisit that and try to make that more obvious. Thanks for pointing those things out to me. All help welcome. And, you don't have to promote this. Though, it is always appreciated. Gretchen
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Too late; already done. Good works need good placement on the leader board!!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Hope Huck gets it figured out.
Nicely written.
Maw-Maw certainly has the genuine article when it comes to Christianity and faith. That or she just hasn't built up the courage to let him have it with the skillet.
Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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Hope Huck gets it figured out.
Nicely written.
Maw-Maw certainly has the genuine article when it comes to Christianity and faith. That or she just hasn't built up the courage to let him have it with the skillet.
Best wishes.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2024
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I'd definitely be teaching the word of God through the skillet. Lol. Thank you for this fun review. Gretchen