The Coyote Boys
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Miss Lynn"Story about two brothers who change their destiny.
18 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
I sense that Dewey will follow his insticts, and I fear for the result. I also fear for the result if Huck follows up on his attraction to Miss Lynn, who must be considerably older, as well as being "unsuitable" because of her colour. A chapter filled with tension. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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I sense that Dewey will follow his insticts, and I fear for the result. I also fear for the result if Huck follows up on his attraction to Miss Lynn, who must be considerably older, as well as being "unsuitable" because of her colour. A chapter filled with tension. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Wendy. Dewey is definitely changing. Appreciate this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a scary part of the story. Huck realizes his dream may be only a dream, but he is very attracted to Miss Lynn, which will be very much a problem if his father discovers it. And Dewey is changing, becoming harder and angrier at his horrible father by the day. Well written and certainly a builder of the tension in the house.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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This is a scary part of the story. Huck realizes his dream may be only a dream, but he is very attracted to Miss Lynn, which will be very much a problem if his father discovers it. And Dewey is changing, becoming harder and angrier at his horrible father by the day. Well written and certainly a builder of the tension in the house.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from pome lover
good story telling. The dialogue sounds real, the father sounds horrible, and the chapter leaves the reader wondering what Dewey might be planning to do to his abusive, horrible father. However, Huck said that Dewey is fading. Is he dying, perhaps?
so much catching up to do!
Katharine
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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good story telling. The dialogue sounds real, the father sounds horrible, and the chapter leaves the reader wondering what Dewey might be planning to do to his abusive, horrible father. However, Huck said that Dewey is fading. Is he dying, perhaps?
so much catching up to do!
Katharine
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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Huck was referring to his smiling brother. Dewey is becoming consumed with his hatred of his father. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Tension is building. Well written.
Huck is rather reserved in his dreaming. I think my hands might've been a bit busy in that dream. (But I understand, this is FanStory and you must consider the audience!) smiley face here
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Tension is building. Well written.
Huck is rather reserved in his dreaming. I think my hands might've been a bit busy in that dream. (But I understand, this is FanStory and you must consider the audience!) smiley face here
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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I felt I was pushing it with the burning loins sentence. I too, thought about a sixteen year old boy dreaming about an older woman. Lol. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a delightful piece of writing. There is plenty of character description, but this does not detract from the action. Rather the two fuse together well. I especially liked the dream scene that was rich in imagery. kay
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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This is a delightful piece of writing. There is plenty of character description, but this does not detract from the action. Rather the two fuse together well. I especially liked the dream scene that was rich in imagery. kay
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much, Kay. This made my night! Gretchen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Dewey's hatred is building now fast and it looks inevitable at this point that his mind is made up. Maybe one more trigger. As ever, Gretchen , your chapter captures the creepiness of this sinister presence in the house who comes and goes as he pleases, while all the while tension builds within. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Dewey's hatred is building now fast and it looks inevitable at this point that his mind is made up. Maybe one more trigger. As ever, Gretchen , your chapter captures the creepiness of this sinister presence in the house who comes and goes as he pleases, while all the while tension builds within. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Debbie. I'm glad you understand how powerful his hold on his family is. Gretchen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oh, man! This is like a big pot of hot grease coming to a smoking boil, and you are the master of that process. It is truly like watching an accident in slow motion.
I love-love-loved this: It's enough to see out into the hall, but not enough for the hinges to tell on me.
You have the BEST creative phrases like that - and CONSTANTLY so. You're simply, a fantastic writer. Period.
Great chapter, Gretchen. I am so very invested!! xoxox
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Oh, man! This is like a big pot of hot grease coming to a smoking boil, and you are the master of that process. It is truly like watching an accident in slow motion.
I love-love-loved this: It's enough to see out into the hall, but not enough for the hinges to tell on me.
You have the BEST creative phrases like that - and CONSTANTLY so. You're simply, a fantastic writer. Period.
Great chapter, Gretchen. I am so very invested!! xoxox
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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Thank you. I thank you for the encouraging review. I was a tad hesitant to post this story. So dark. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. Appreciate this. Gretchen
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Well, but the story's dark. You're doing such a good job of keeping it from becoming constantly unbearable, though. It's Just Right Dark as opposed to Dark Overload.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These boys are growing up into strong men and the Father had better watch out Gretchen. It sounds like things are coming to a head here Gretchen and tempers could be brewing, another fine chapter, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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These boys are growing up into strong men and the Father had better watch out Gretchen. It sounds like things are coming to a head here Gretchen and tempers could be brewing, another fine chapter, love Dolly x
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Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2024
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You know something is going to happen. Just a question of when and what triggers it. Thank you for this. Gretchen