Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Spirited Justice Chap 3"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
18 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition with us. I enjoyed reading. I thought from your last notes, you were only posting on Wednesday's and Sunday's. I guess I read them wrong.
"You could have fooled me. He's in your office." Emily muttered. (office,)
"You're being such a snot-nose today, Matthew." Danni remained invisible but continued to talk. "Forgive him, Jenna. (talk,)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thank you for sharing this addition with us. I enjoyed reading. I thought from your last notes, you were only posting on Wednesday's and Sunday's. I guess I read them wrong.
"You could have fooled me. He's in your office." Emily muttered. (office,)
"You're being such a snot-nose today, Matthew." Danni remained invisible but continued to talk. "Forgive him, Jenna. (talk,)
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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You didn't read it wrong, Barbara. I just need to write and I have three chapters already backed up...and others were saying they liked me to post more....I am trying to slow down but I just can't help myself. LOL Thanks for reviewing and catching my errors.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely written. So Eleanor is back. I 'm wondering if the dead people instantly become ghosts. I didn't remember Jenna being a pagent director and a journalist. I thought she was an artist.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Nicely written. So Eleanor is back. I 'm wondering if the dead people instantly become ghosts. I didn't remember Jenna being a pagent director and a journalist. I thought she was an artist.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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She wasn't really an artist ...just someone who loved to paint. but she did go to school as a journalist, but then didn't follow through. The pageant coordinator started with the journalist investigating and became an additional job with this story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Enjoyed the chapter! I wish I could write dialogue so smooth and believable. Your descriptions are wonderful and really made me feel immersed in the story. Nice job.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Enjoyed the chapter! I wish I could write dialogue so smooth and believable. Your descriptions are wonderful and really made me feel immersed in the story. Nice job.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thanks, Marilyn! I appreciate the review and your kindness. I've been told before that it is my dialogue that moves my stories along so well, but for the life of me I don't know where it ocmes from...except out of this feeble brain I guess. LOL Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
You took us through the whole conversation and everything that was going on, but you couldn't just leave it without letting us know the ghost wanted to recognized for being in the room. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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You took us through the whole conversation and everything that was going on, but you couldn't just leave it without letting us know the ghost wanted to recognized for being in the room. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Of course, they have their moments! And I am enjoying every second ot it. It's fun to write again. Hope all is well with you.
smiles and hugs, Carol
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Every day above ground is good! And now that I've learned cremation is cheaper, quickly, no one gets to see me in a box, and the bugs don't come into play, it's even a better day. :-) Hugs.
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Dead or alive, I don't want to be burned...especially if someone thinks about sending me to hell. And yes, waking up in the morning and discovering I am still alive is a great way to start the day.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gunner Lil
Oh my goodness this gets better by the page.
Wonderful sensory descriptions that puts the reader there on each page. Fantastic dialogue with super tags.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Oh my goodness this gets better by the page.
Wonderful sensory descriptions that puts the reader there on each page. Fantastic dialogue with super tags.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Good morning! Thank you for your wonderful thoughts and I am thrilled you are enjoying the story. I appreciate your time and comments.
Have a great day!
miles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, it becomes clear why Donatelli is in a bad mood, given the situation with Naomi. I wondered whether Eleanor would also return. This promises to be another complex and interesting book, with Jenna wearing two hats, and having to deal with Donatelli again. Will Garth return - that would add some interesting dynamics as well!
Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Yes, it becomes clear why Donatelli is in a bad mood, given the situation with Naomi. I wondered whether Eleanor would also return. This promises to be another complex and interesting book, with Jenna wearing two hats, and having to deal with Donatelli again. Will Garth return - that would add some interesting dynamics as well!
Wendy
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Can't reveal all my secrets but I must confess I do love Eleanor and Garth. Thank you for stopping by to read this chapter. I figured it was safe to post because everyone who usually follows my stories had read the other chapters. I'll post again on Sunday. Have a great weekend!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sally Law
Great chapter! I love the sassy Danni. Even on top the credenza, she's a good presence and will prove to be helpful. Sinister people are lurking--how foreboding!
A few small improvements for your fine chapter.
"Jenna! Oh my God, Jenna!" Emily's voice was high-pitched and frantic.[ I've] been calling you for hours. Something terrible has happened.". Speech marks are needed before I've.
Danni is spelled both ways. Danny giggled. I like the Danni spelling, it's more feminine.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best for the new book.
Sal Xos
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Great chapter! I love the sassy Danni. Even on top the credenza, she's a good presence and will prove to be helpful. Sinister people are lurking--how foreboding!
A few small improvements for your fine chapter.
"Jenna! Oh my God, Jenna!" Emily's voice was high-pitched and frantic.[ I've] been calling you for hours. Something terrible has happened.". Speech marks are needed before I've.
Danni is spelled both ways. Danny giggled. I like the Danni spelling, it's more feminine.
Sending you my best today as always, and my best for the new book.
Sal Xos
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Good morning, Sally
Thanks for catching those errors this morning. that's what I get for trying to post at 2 in the morning. LOL But I do appreciate the help.
It's not an action chapter but it leads us in the right direction. I hope you will enjoy the story. thank you for yur time and review.
Smiles, Carol
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Most welcome! Do you ever sleep? ;))
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Not much unfortunately!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
There is much in this chapter that is good: the weaving of a new character into a solid structure, and once again the judicious use of dialogue. However, there are a few points you could work on. Repetitions weaken certain areas, and nor takes neither, not a direct negative. Also a few spags to consider. kay
investors turned into > investors had turned into
She fumbled for her phone > Jenna fumbled for her phone
dinner last night > dinner the previous night
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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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There is much in this chapter that is good: the weaving of a new character into a solid structure, and once again the judicious use of dialogue. However, there are a few points you could work on. Repetitions weaken certain areas, and nor takes neither, not a direct negative. Also a few spags to consider. kay
investors turned into > investors had turned into
She fumbled for her phone > Jenna fumbled for her phone
dinner last night > dinner the previous night
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Good Morming!
Looks like you are much smarter than my Programmer especially when I write at 3 in the morning. I will check out your suggestions and make adjustments. Appreciate you help.
Thank you Katherine for taking the time to read and review. I hope you continue to enjoy the story and to provide the suggestions. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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Hello to you too. I'm happy that you like the suggestions. They come naturally to me as I was a French > English translator before retirement, and it's useful to keep my hand in (I'm still a part-time consultant) kay
