Death, Crimes and Misdemeanors A-Z
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Bernice Bakes"Nefarious Deeds
16 total reviews
Comment from GoWiSt
"Harry's History
Bernice Bakes" Good use of alliteration here and throughout the piece.
"Thomas Turnbellow Sheriff" Is his last name Sheriff, or is he the sheriff of the town?
"Wondering what will he want to eat today" he will--not will he (grammar).
"he's a roast." Well, I hope that's not literal.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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"Harry's History
Bernice Bakes" Good use of alliteration here and throughout the piece.
"Thomas Turnbellow Sheriff" Is his last name Sheriff, or is he the sheriff of the town?
"Wondering what will he want to eat today" he will--not will he (grammar).
"he's a roast." Well, I hope that's not literal.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Sheriff of the town, pooped from unpacking.
Thanks from the read. Karen
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, Harry got what so many menopause mamas dish out when they are going through the change. LOL. But we never think about Harry on a platter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Well, Harry got what so many menopause mamas dish out when they are going through the change. LOL. But we never think about Harry on a platter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Harry wanted to be loved by all. Everyone loved the roast! Karen
Comment from GWHARGIS
I should have seem that coming. I liked the style. The like letters in each sentence. Bernice must be southern. I think a southern woman would cook someone up, enter the dishes in the county fair and then have her picture taken with the blue ribbon for the local Gazette. Fun flash fiction. Gretchen
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I should have seem that coming. I liked the style. The like letters in each sentence. Bernice must be southern. I think a southern woman would cook someone up, enter the dishes in the county fair and then have her picture taken with the blue ribbon for the local Gazette. Fun flash fiction. Gretchen
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I like your ideas, I might steal them for a story later. Karen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Absolutely wonderful, Karen! This is murder but of a very excusable kind. After all, those hot flushes only get worse when you've got an annoying busybody in the way! Best to tackle that one head-on. Although she has a fair bit of cleaning up to do (nice alliteration there). I bet you laughed all the way through this one. Brilliant because the tone of it is so gentle and sweet! Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Absolutely wonderful, Karen! This is murder but of a very excusable kind. After all, those hot flushes only get worse when you've got an annoying busybody in the way! Best to tackle that one head-on. Although she has a fair bit of cleaning up to do (nice alliteration there). I bet you laughed all the way through this one. Brilliant because the tone of it is so gentle and sweet! Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I love alliteration. Offing men helps with pain. I need to kill a lot. On here only. Karen
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a gruesome story about woman who roasted her husband and fed the whole town with his meat. And it smelled good. You used a correct format for a flash fiction, fiction and a surprise in the end.
Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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What a gruesome story about woman who roasted her husband and fed the whole town with his meat. And it smelled good. You used a correct format for a flash fiction, fiction and a surprise in the end.
Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the review. I just reviewed one of yours. I read one for one regardless of points.
Have a good week. Me? More boxes to unpack.
Karen
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Wow. lol Great flash story with a perfect twist at the end. Not only a twist but a twisted twist. Good luck in the contest. thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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Wow. lol Great flash story with a perfect twist at the end. Not only a twist but a twisted twist. Good luck in the contest. thanks for sharing.
_______________________________________
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2024
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I just this second released it. Wow! Thanks. I added alliteration. I wonder if anyone will notice.
:-)
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I noticed. Would you like to critique a new one for me?
i will message it to you
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I looked in my email and it wasn't there. Karen