Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Plan B - Rachelle's Version"Two very real women in not so real situation.
27 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love your stories... Gretchen and you are wonderful story tellers. Your plot is unfolding nicely and the characters are well developed.
Well done!
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wouds inflicted by reason" -- Novali
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
  |
I love your stories... Gretchen and you are wonderful story tellers. Your plot is unfolding nicely and the characters are well developed.
Well done!
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wouds inflicted by reason" -- Novali
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Little Hannah especially this week!! She certainly had the spotlight!
Thanks for the very encouraging review for both Gretchen and me. xoxo
Comment from Jim Wile
Very funny, Rachelle. I loved your analogy to the Munsters and how Gretchen was the normal one who didn't fit in. Perfect.
Just like a kid to spill all the beans to her friends about how humorous she found you.
I love your very apt analogies like "escapees from Barnum and Bailey's freak show contingent."
With a dying battery in Gretchen's phone, seems like you have just one chance to communicate with the outside world and get help. I'm guessing you won't. Gonna miss you at the reunion.
After explaining your inability to get a charge in Gretchen's car and after her explanation, I'll bet you had to restrain yourself from getting another dig in about the car. Admirable that you didn't.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
Very funny, Rachelle. I loved your analogy to the Munsters and how Gretchen was the normal one who didn't fit in. Perfect.
Just like a kid to spill all the beans to her friends about how humorous she found you.
I love your very apt analogies like "escapees from Barnum and Bailey's freak show contingent."
With a dying battery in Gretchen's phone, seems like you have just one chance to communicate with the outside world and get help. I'm guessing you won't. Gonna miss you at the reunion.
After explaining your inability to get a charge in Gretchen's car and after her explanation, I'll bet you had to restrain yourself from getting another dig in about the car. Admirable that you didn't.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Well, since I made the analogy to her feeling like she would if her grandma had to go into hospice, that would have been downright cruel...though, you're right; I WAS tempted!!
Thanks for the thorough, thoughtful review, Jim. xoxo
Comment from Michele Harber
It's nice to see your sense of humor back, starting with the Marilyn comparison and, "The stories we'll be writing when all this is over, and we've made it to The International FanStory Convention in Atlantic City!" Ya think???
I enjoyed the descriptions of young love and, particularly, that you showed it more than told it through your descriptions of the boys' blushing. I also enjoyed the innocence with which the younger girl told the story of everything that happened to you and Gretchen as though it were the most normal thing in the world. I found that enjoyably believable.
There is one thing I would suggest. The comparison to Marilyn Munster works well, but you spent much too much time making the point. A brief line about each character, and less physical description, would have served you better.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
It's nice to see your sense of humor back, starting with the Marilyn comparison and, "The stories we'll be writing when all this is over, and we've made it to The International FanStory Convention in Atlantic City!" Ya think???
I enjoyed the descriptions of young love and, particularly, that you showed it more than told it through your descriptions of the boys' blushing. I also enjoyed the innocence with which the younger girl told the story of everything that happened to you and Gretchen as though it were the most normal thing in the world. I found that enjoyably believable.
There is one thing I would suggest. The comparison to Marilyn Munster works well, but you spent much too much time making the point. A brief line about each character, and less physical description, would have served you better.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Thanks, Michele.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I had no idea when I began reading this that I would be taking a walk down TV Land's memory lane with Herman, Lily, and the gang. You're full of surprises.
Trying to get breakfast to "slither down" to your stomach - good one, playing on the obsession with snakes Gretchen seems to have.
Well, didn't the Yoders get a nice introduction to the real Rachelle - a crazy sicko who prefers to race through the meadow in heels and bathe in her dress. Oh, and let's not forget the asshole cleaners she likes to wear in her hair!
So, I got my answer to "what happened to the horses" - and all it took to catch them was a pail of oats:-)
Love the paragraph on bubbling caramel and its affect on a thermometer, and the comparison to a teenager's hormones. It's writing like this - clever and humorous - that makes me love your stories.
Now I'm off to read Gretchen's version of what really happened, as I know how you like to exaggerate the truth. (This is all true, right? You are going to a FanStory convention, right? I hope so, because I've booked a flight to Atlantic City.)
xoxoxo
PT
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
 |
I had no idea when I began reading this that I would be taking a walk down TV Land's memory lane with Herman, Lily, and the gang. You're full of surprises.
Trying to get breakfast to "slither down" to your stomach - good one, playing on the obsession with snakes Gretchen seems to have.
Well, didn't the Yoders get a nice introduction to the real Rachelle - a crazy sicko who prefers to race through the meadow in heels and bathe in her dress. Oh, and let's not forget the asshole cleaners she likes to wear in her hair!
So, I got my answer to "what happened to the horses" - and all it took to catch them was a pail of oats:-)
Love the paragraph on bubbling caramel and its affect on a thermometer, and the comparison to a teenager's hormones. It's writing like this - clever and humorous - that makes me love your stories.
Now I'm off to read Gretchen's version of what really happened, as I know how you like to exaggerate the truth. (This is all true, right? You are going to a FanStory convention, right? I hope so, because I've booked a flight to Atlantic City.)
xoxoxo
PT
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Ohhhh, yes!! I'll see you there. I'll know it's you because of your bleach-job!!
Thanks for the delightful, thorough review. So very appreciated ALWAYS. xoxox
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I remember watching the Munsters growing up. It was a fun comedy. I can see where the Amish probably thought similar thoughts. I am really enjoying this story. I am honestly going to hate it when you two leave this area.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
I remember watching the Munsters growing up. It was a fun comedy. I can see where the Amish probably thought similar thoughts. I am really enjoying this story. I am honestly going to hate it when you two leave this area.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Even though it will mean meeting up with you at the convention, Barbara? Because I promise you, you WILL be there and make a cameo appearance in this tale!!!! xoxox
Comment from pome lover
ah, ...do I detect a wee hint of dissention in the (story) ranks? Two strong personalities together, more or less. Muy humorous!
No sidekicks in that twosome, however.
Had to chuckle, picturing the Yoders' expressions after listening to Hannah's monologue introduction of you to them. Did she leave anything out? No more secrets for you. I guess the Amish, living that close together and not socializing with Englishers or anybody much, do pretty much know everything about each other. muy not humorous.
Cute chapter! Now onward to Gretchen's version.
This is fun.
Katharine
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
ah, ...do I detect a wee hint of dissention in the (story) ranks? Two strong personalities together, more or less. Muy humorous!
No sidekicks in that twosome, however.
Had to chuckle, picturing the Yoders' expressions after listening to Hannah's monologue introduction of you to them. Did she leave anything out? No more secrets for you. I guess the Amish, living that close together and not socializing with Englishers or anybody much, do pretty much know everything about each other. muy not humorous.
Cute chapter! Now onward to Gretchen's version.
This is fun.
Katharine
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
It's so fun to have you along! You are a delightful reviewer. I appreciate all the time and thoroughness you bestow. xoxo
-
thank you, ma'am!
muy apreciado! :)
Comment from Begin Again
Truly a story filled with humor and a bit of Amish life a well. i loved Hannah and her "zooming" mouth as she started to fill in their guests with every last detail. Great story and enjoyed.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
Truly a story filled with humor and a bit of Amish life a well. i loved Hannah and her "zooming" mouth as she started to fill in their guests with every last detail. Great story and enjoyed.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Ah, yes! The beauty of children! No filter what.so.EV.er! Thanks for a delightful review, Carol. xoxo
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written, and it reads very well when it is read aloud. Your sentence structure and your paragraphing are very well done and your punctuation is very well done as well. I enjoyed very much listening to this and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
This is very well written, and it reads very well when it is read aloud. Your sentence structure and your paragraphing are very well done and your punctuation is very well done as well. I enjoyed very much listening to this and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
Thanks, Patricia. I appreciate your kind and supportive review. xo
Comment from Neonewman
I look forward to these Amish tales you two have s-s-s-s-s-so cleverly crafted. The underlying comic relief is necessary in one's world. Ya'll are brilliant together.
I found myself not understanding this particular line. We're quiet a beat,
Should that be (quite) or is this a music reference?
Ton's of fun in this story, especially at the end.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
I look forward to these Amish tales you two have s-s-s-s-s-so cleverly crafted. The underlying comic relief is necessary in one's world. Ya'll are brilliant together.
I found myself not understanding this particular line. We're quiet a beat,
Should that be (quite) or is this a music reference?
Ton's of fun in this story, especially at the end.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
We're quiet a beat = there's a moment when no one speaks.
-
That makes sense, I learned something that I wouldn't have, had I not asked. Thank you, my friend. I just sent chapter eleven your way. Dodie Rae is getting intense lol.
Steve
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Rachelle!
Jam-packed (couldn't resist) and absolutely delightful!
You have thought of everything in this chapter to entertain your readers from delighting them with a hysterical description of Gretchen as "poor Cousin, Marilyn," to the arrival of the Yoders, to young Amish boys' hormones, to picking blueberries, timber rattlesnakes, and iPhones that need a USB port in order to recharge!
Thought I was right there with you!
Thank you for the smiles!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
|
Good morning, Rachelle!
Jam-packed (couldn't resist) and absolutely delightful!
You have thought of everything in this chapter to entertain your readers from delighting them with a hysterical description of Gretchen as "poor Cousin, Marilyn," to the arrival of the Yoders, to young Amish boys' hormones, to picking blueberries, timber rattlesnakes, and iPhones that need a USB port in order to recharge!
Thought I was right there with you!
Thank you for the smiles!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 11-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2024
-
And thank YOU for this enthusiastic review (I'll even overlook the pun...which did make me smile.) Thanks, too, for the extra shiner! xoxox
