Broken Crayons
a short story28 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I read this on the edge of my seat not knowing what would happen next. I could relate as I too had a fall and lost the ability to walk. I spent three months in a place similar to where this story took place and developed an appreciation for the little conversations I had with a few of the other patients. When the character was attracted to the woman with only one leg he let that idea get in the way of making a connection with her. But slowly he let her into his life and learned to love again.
This touched my heart so much that tears ran down my cheek. I loved the metaphor of the broken crayon to learn to live life to the fullest no matter what.
Thanks for waking me up to the truth.
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I read this on the edge of my seat not knowing what would happen next. I could relate as I too had a fall and lost the ability to walk. I spent three months in a place similar to where this story took place and developed an appreciation for the little conversations I had with a few of the other patients. When the character was attracted to the woman with only one leg he let that idea get in the way of making a connection with her. But slowly he let her into his life and learned to love again.
This touched my heart so much that tears ran down my cheek. I loved the metaphor of the broken crayon to learn to live life to the fullest no matter what.
Thanks for waking me up to the truth.
Jesse
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I am very moved by your wonderful review.
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I'm glad.
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Keep in touch and keep writing!
Comment from Sanku
I loved my life. past tense. Great opening ! aAs the story moves thro why he stopped loving his life the reader is full of compassion .then celeste.. May be he will start loving his life again.. Very well written.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I loved my life. past tense. Great opening ! aAs the story moves thro why he stopped loving his life the reader is full of compassion .then celeste.. May be he will start loving his life again.. Very well written.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thaqnk you so much for your kind words.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sweet natured story Jim and I enjoyed your imaginative tale of two people coming together through tragedy and coming to terms with disability. A connection was made through sorrow here and who knows how this might develop. Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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A sweet natured story Jim and I enjoyed your imaginative tale of two people coming together through tragedy and coming to terms with disability. A connection was made through sorrow here and who knows how this might develop. Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Many thanks for your wonderful words.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a lovely story with real normal human emotions. Neither of them was equipped for their loses or how to talk to others. Time and being together, however, has a way of smoothing over the uncomfortable moments.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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This is a lovely story with real normal human emotions. Neither of them was equipped for their loses or how to talk to others. Time and being together, however, has a way of smoothing over the uncomfortable moments.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thank you for a kind review.
Comment from Mufasa
This was so nicely done; I don't even feel the need to review it. One thing: Your opening two lines were a massive, polished, extremely sharp, hook. I will say for anyone that had to fight their way back from a severe injury, this should strike home. And Fig Newtons are only secondary to Strawberry Newtons -
MD
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This was so nicely done; I don't even feel the need to review it. One thing: Your opening two lines were a massive, polished, extremely sharp, hook. I will say for anyone that had to fight their way back from a severe injury, this should strike home. And Fig Newtons are only secondary to Strawberry Newtons -
MD
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
Comment from mermaids
This is a story that should be published, Your words drew me in and kept me here. Love the character development, especially the narrator who is trying to adjust to his new life. I also like his wife Jen being drawn in the picture to protect the woman's daughter. I work full time as a nurse in a nursing home and enjoy reading stories and poems from the patient's perspective.
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This is a story that should be published, Your words drew me in and kept me here. Love the character development, especially the narrator who is trying to adjust to his new life. I also like his wife Jen being drawn in the picture to protect the woman's daughter. I work full time as a nurse in a nursing home and enjoy reading stories and poems from the patient's perspective.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
Comment from Esther Brown
Jim that brought tears to my eyes. All of us are only broken crayons, but God can use our brokenness to create such a marvelous canvass. There was a tiny mistake, copied here: so sure of it a. Needs to lose the a. Esther
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Jim that brought tears to my eyes. All of us are only broken crayons, but God can use our brokenness to create such a marvelous canvass. There was a tiny mistake, copied here: so sure of it a. Needs to lose the a. Esther
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I m humbled by your kind words.
Comment from royowen
Whoever said one cannot live again when one is old, is wrong, when hope is gone, life, when one doesn't look forward to tomorrow that is paradise lost. What an interesting story, two people needing one another, in a sense, apart from God, one needs companionship, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Whoever said one cannot live again when one is old, is wrong, when hope is gone, life, when one doesn't look forward to tomorrow that is paradise lost. What an interesting story, two people needing one another, in a sense, apart from God, one needs companionship, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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I am thankful for your kind rating and words.
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Most welcome
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
This one won't get away from me without a 6. The story was believeable and heart-breaking with a life lesson at the end that we all need to learn. Great job.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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This one won't get away from me without a 6. The story was believeable and heart-breaking with a life lesson at the end that we all need to learn. Great job.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thanks, again for being so kind!
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Broken Crayons, takes the readers on a healing jaunt through this period of time in the rehabilitation where the losses on two sides finally find a positive from the other side.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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This story, Broken Crayons, takes the readers on a healing jaunt through this period of time in the rehabilitation where the losses on two sides finally find a positive from the other side.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
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Many thanks, Bill.
