Don't Mess with Retirees
A older man takes a stroll back to his pond.29 total reviews
Comment from Sallyo
Oh, boy. I wonder if those girls went from skinnydipping to streaking in a hurry! This little story holds together well and comes out in a fine punchline. I found one tiny error...
Stay in as long as you like," he said, holding up the bucket. "I'm just here to feed my gator"
Stay in as long as you like," he said, holding up the bucket. "I'm just here to feed my gator."
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Oh, boy. I wonder if those girls went from skinnydipping to streaking in a hurry! This little story holds together well and comes out in a fine punchline. I found one tiny error...
Stay in as long as you like," he said, holding up the bucket. "I'm just here to feed my gator"
Stay in as long as you like," he said, holding up the bucket. "I'm just here to feed my gator."
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks for the review. I glad you noticed I left off a period.
I enjoyed you remarks.
Beth
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well that's one way to get a peek!
Nice story, nicely written. And in 80 words!
Or... he could say that he just came down for a swim himself, but no trouble, they wouldn't bother him. (smiley face here)
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Well that's one way to get a peek!
Nice story, nicely written. And in 80 words!
Or... he could say that he just came down for a swim himself, but no trouble, they wouldn't bother him. (smiley face here)
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank Wayne. I enjoyed your comments and review.
Beth
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, this is hilarious and well thought out and a tad naughty too Beth, I appreciate your sense of humour in your clever story, love Dolly x x x x
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Ha ha ha, this is hilarious and well thought out and a tad naughty too Beth, I appreciate your sense of humour in your clever story, love Dolly x x x x
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Dolly. I'm glad you got a chuckle out of flash.
Beth
Comment from Bill Schott
This eighty-word story, Don't Mess with Retirees, has the proper word count and finds the man's sense of humor to be one that may take a while to appreciate.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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This eighty-word story, Don't Mess with Retirees, has the proper word count and finds the man's sense of humor to be one that may take a while to appreciate.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks Bill, I've know guys with that sort of sense of humor. I sure it would be a way to get a quick peak and no more trespassing if they believe him. I don't anyone who'd was to swim with a gator.
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent, Beth! I love that meme: Don't mess with old people. They'll beat you every time.
It's nice to know that with age comes wisdom, and a bit of cunning too. This made for a perfect flash story!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Excellent, Beth! I love that meme: Don't mess with old people. They'll beat you every time.
It's nice to know that with age comes wisdom, and a bit of cunning too. This made for a perfect flash story!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Jim. I glad you enjoyed my little flash story.
Beth
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Who do you think you are me? This was hysterical. I am glad I wasn't drinking my soda at the end there, or I would have sprayed the room. What a perfect thing you wrote. The picture is divine. You made a simply glorious thing! Karen
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Who do you think you are me? This was hysterical. I am glad I wasn't drinking my soda at the end there, or I would have sprayed the room. What a perfect thing you wrote. The picture is divine. You made a simply glorious thing! Karen
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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You can't blame a lady for trying to funny like you. I'm glad you like it. I really appreciate those stars.
Beth
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You earned those stars. It is one of the slap you in the face with funny stories, that I love.
Love to you and yours Karen
Comment from Wendy G
Very clever flash fiction. I very much enjoyed the twist at the end. He was just being "nice" to them, rather than angry that they were trespassing, but the result was that he got a good look, probably while laughing his head off, and they won't return! Whether they stayed in or jumped out, they were in a pickle! Lol. Well done. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Very clever flash fiction. I very much enjoyed the twist at the end. He was just being "nice" to them, rather than angry that they were trespassing, but the result was that he got a good look, probably while laughing his head off, and they won't return! Whether they stayed in or jumped out, they were in a pickle! Lol. Well done. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thanks Wendy. I glae you liked my little flash. I can't imagine anyone choosing to swim with a gator.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
That's hilarious! Of course, it may not be true but that should have gotten the girls out of the pond! I don't understand young ladies these days. The skimpy bikinis seem to cover less and less and they are out sunbathing right in front of our tai chi class. It's a little distracting even for me. I can't imagine what a man thinks!
Great story and I think it will do well in the contest!! You have been on a roll all year!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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That's hilarious! Of course, it may not be true but that should have gotten the girls out of the pond! I don't understand young ladies these days. The skimpy bikinis seem to cover less and less and they are out sunbathing right in front of our tai chi class. It's a little distracting even for me. I can't imagine what a man thinks!
Great story and I think it will do well in the contest!! You have been on a roll all year!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Helen. I can't imagine wanting to go skinny dipping. I don't want to be seen in anything other than modest one piece bathing suit even in front of other women. Even that is too revealing. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you found it funny.
Beth
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me, too! Actually my daughter is so modest, she wears a full pants and shirt swimming thing. I guess it must be what Muslim women wear. She's not but she likes their idea for modest swimming.
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There are a lot of Moslem women that come to the YMCA but they don't swim. Their husbands and children swim but the sit on the side and watch. It doesn't seem fair but maybe their choice.
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There are a lot of Moslem women that come to the YMCA but they don't swim. Their husbands and children swim but the sit on the side and watch. It doesn't seem fair but maybe their choice.
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That's so sad.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I'm a little surprised that George, at 70, didn't invite the girls to stay as long as they wanted and remark, "I'm just here to gather some apples." Instead, he wants to scare them away? LOL!
Good luck in this competitive contest - I've seen lots of entries already.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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I'm a little surprised that George, at 70, didn't invite the girls to stay as long as they wanted and remark, "I'm just here to gather some apples." Instead, he wants to scare them away? LOL!
Good luck in this competitive contest - I've seen lots of entries already.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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I think he just wants to watch while they jump our or the water in the nude. Thanks Pam. I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Haha, you had me at that one. I was expecting an old retiree looking back at his youth wishing away his youthful ways but all of a sudden, boom, the twist to beat all twists. He encourages the skinny dippers to stay in the pond as long as they like. Then, the punch line, I'm just here to feed my gator. You had me rolling in the aisles.
Fun and frivolous this humorous fiction was the best thing going.
Jesse
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Haha, you had me at that one. I was expecting an old retiree looking back at his youth wishing away his youthful ways but all of a sudden, boom, the twist to beat all twists. He encourages the skinny dippers to stay in the pond as long as they like. Then, the punch line, I'm just here to feed my gator. You had me rolling in the aisles.
Fun and frivolous this humorous fiction was the best thing going.
Jesse
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2024
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Thank you Jesse, I glad you found my punch life unexpected and funny. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth
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This post deserved the six stars.
The twist was the best thing going.
Jesse
