A Poetic Idiot's Approach to Idioms
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Learning is a Dangerous Thing"Poems Based on Idioms!
17 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
Good thoughts in here. Some notes on clarity:
beaten down interest <= because "down" on its own is not an obvious adjective of "interest", and it functions as an idiom when attached to the previous words, these two words should be connected with a hyphen: beaten-down
There are those that benefit from our innocence <= because we are freeing to people and not things, use WHO instead of THAT
But questions are a dangerous thing to some, <= I think "to some" unnecessarily dilutes the bold assertion you have posited. I'd leave it out. "But questions are dangerous things" would serve as a fine and memorable central premise of your piece, and you could build on it though a series of parables later in later pieces if you are so inclined.
And there lies in the fragility of their faith <= slightly confusing. I suggest: and therein lies the fragility of their faith - unless you meant something different
If there is one idea that all evil understands, <= for clarity, before the maxim you wish to state, consider adding something like "it is this:"
I'd also suggest a paragraph break after "them all"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Good thoughts in here. Some notes on clarity:
beaten down interest <= because "down" on its own is not an obvious adjective of "interest", and it functions as an idiom when attached to the previous words, these two words should be connected with a hyphen: beaten-down
There are those that benefit from our innocence <= because we are freeing to people and not things, use WHO instead of THAT
But questions are a dangerous thing to some, <= I think "to some" unnecessarily dilutes the bold assertion you have posited. I'd leave it out. "But questions are dangerous things" would serve as a fine and memorable central premise of your piece, and you could build on it though a series of parables later in later pieces if you are so inclined.
And there lies in the fragility of their faith <= slightly confusing. I suggest: and therein lies the fragility of their faith - unless you meant something different
If there is one idea that all evil understands, <= for clarity, before the maxim you wish to state, consider adding something like "it is this:"
I'd also suggest a paragraph break after "them all"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for the amazing reply! I love when I get ideas on how to make the poem flow smoother :) I made a couple of changes according to your suggestions, hope it looks better now!!
Best,
Videl
Comment from Jacob1395
I've always liked the saying that knowledge is power and it is definitely something we shouldn't be suppressed like it is in some countries. It is something that is really sad to see. A well written piece, I thought it was well written and I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest.
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I've always liked the saying that knowledge is power and it is definitely something we shouldn't be suppressed like it is in some countries. It is something that is really sad to see. A well written piece, I thought it was well written and I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from Aussie
Wonderful post. Hitler Youth were brainwashed and would even dob their parents in to the SS. In the camps some even denied they were Jewish to escape death. I know those evil bastards, especially Hitler will never see the face of God. Shalom. K XX
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Wonderful post. Hitler Youth were brainwashed and would even dob their parents in to the SS. In the camps some even denied they were Jewish to escape death. I know those evil bastards, especially Hitler will never see the face of God. Shalom. K XX
Comment Written 28-Aug-2024
Comment from pome lover
I apologize for being political, but it is probable that it will happen again if the Marxists win the election. The thought makes me sick. I was a child during the 2nd world war. My father was a surgeon right behind the lines, patching up the poor injured as best he could with fighting not far away. He told us what it was like in Holland and Belgium with the Germans there.
The youth, here, don't have Hitler, never-the-less, they are being indoctrinated in schools. It happened to my one and only granddaughter, now, in 2024!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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I apologize for being political, but it is probable that it will happen again if the Marxists win the election. The thought makes me sick. I was a child during the 2nd world war. My father was a surgeon right behind the lines, patching up the poor injured as best he could with fighting not far away. He told us what it was like in Holland and Belgium with the Germans there.
The youth, here, don't have Hitler, never-the-less, they are being indoctrinated in schools. It happened to my one and only granddaughter, now, in 2024!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2024
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It's all good, this is a pretty political poem! :) As for me, I believe that the extreme of both the far left and far right ignite the same fear in me - both book banning and indoctrination (of any kind) aren't good! Thank you so much for the kind review, have a great week!
Best,
Videl
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the My Faith poetry contest. I can't believe that we are still talking about this in 2024 and that it is actually being done here in the USA. Frightening isn't a big enough word! Beautiful poem. Well-stated message!
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An excellent entry for the My Faith poetry contest. I can't believe that we are still talking about this in 2024 and that it is actually being done here in the USA. Frightening isn't a big enough word! Beautiful poem. Well-stated message!
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Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
Comment from Patricia Green1
Well written, sending a clear message, to those trying to destroy our heritage of books and reading. I is a load of rubbish to ban these books and then let a song with swearing win awards. This society is undermining all that is good.
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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Well written, sending a clear message, to those trying to destroy our heritage of books and reading. I is a load of rubbish to ban these books and then let a song with swearing win awards. This society is undermining all that is good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for the review and the kind words, but I was wondering what I could improve? The 2-stars without any criticism threw me off a bit!
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I liked it! I really couldn't find anything to criticise. I love poetry, even though I will never be this good.
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your poem strikes a powerful chord by exploring the tension between curiosity and conformity. The way you highlight the natural curiosity of youth, juxtaposed with the suppression of that curiosity by those in power, is thought-provoking. I really appreciate how you've woven this theme into the verses, especially the line about how a belief that can't withstand a child's scrutiny might not be reliable... that's such a poignant observation.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Your poem strikes a powerful chord by exploring the tension between curiosity and conformity. The way you highlight the natural curiosity of youth, juxtaposed with the suppression of that curiosity by those in power, is thought-provoking. I really appreciate how you've woven this theme into the verses, especially the line about how a belief that can't withstand a child's scrutiny might not be reliable... that's such a poignant observation.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for the 6-star review! It means a lot! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading, this is probably my favorite out of the newer poems I've written :)
Best,
Videl
