Darkness
Poem about creatures of the night26 total reviews
Comment from CM Pickard
There's a lot of really cool imagery here, I found the start of the fourth stanza a bit clunky when read out loud but not enough to impact the overall enjoyment of the poem. If you felt inclined to tweak, that's where I'd focus but otherwise a beautiful well rounded poem.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
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There's a lot of really cool imagery here, I found the start of the fourth stanza a bit clunky when read out loud but not enough to impact the overall enjoyment of the poem. If you felt inclined to tweak, that's where I'd focus but otherwise a beautiful well rounded poem.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your kind review. I will take a look at stanza four and see what I can do. If you have any suggestions I'd appreciate them.
Cecilia
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Cecilia.
So many wild animals in our world live the nocturnal existence. They live out their lives in the dark. Your description of their conditions and their actions is quite good. You also discussed the reality in the stanza where you say, "some are lucky, some will die." I live in a small town but Hawks nest in trees on our property and there is a single owl we're here from time to time.
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
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Hello Cecilia.
So many wild animals in our world live the nocturnal existence. They live out their lives in the dark. Your description of their conditions and their actions is quite good. You also discussed the reality in the stanza where you say, "some are lucky, some will die." I live in a small town but Hawks nest in trees on our property and there is a single owl we're here from time to time.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2024
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Robert,
Thank you for your kind review. Yeah, it crazy how some animals live their lives in the dark. The coyotes around my neighborhood sometimes show themselves during the day. It's kind of scary when they do.
Cecilia
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
It's clear from your detailed verse here how much this is taken from reality. I particularly liked the evocative squeaking confirming capture. A vivid portrayal of country life (and death) and a pleasing read. Well done, Cecilia.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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It's clear from your detailed verse here how much this is taken from reality. I particularly liked the evocative squeaking confirming capture. A vivid portrayal of country life (and death) and a pleasing read. Well done, Cecilia.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Debbie,
Thank you for the kind review. I really appreciate you
Cecilia
Comment from EeanBlack
Some are lucky, some will die. Country living makes you tough. I cut wood every summer with my dad to prepare for the winter. We pulled the trees out of the woods with horses and ropes. We had thirty cattle freeze to death one winter when they went out on a frozen pond looking for water. We just couldn't get to them because of the storm. We took them out after the thaw. Not the best experience. I enjoy the more romantic side of country living. For that, I'm all in. Oh, the review! Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Some are lucky, some will die. Country living makes you tough. I cut wood every summer with my dad to prepare for the winter. We pulled the trees out of the woods with horses and ropes. We had thirty cattle freeze to death one winter when they went out on a frozen pond looking for water. We just couldn't get to them because of the storm. We took them out after the thaw. Not the best experience. I enjoy the more romantic side of country living. For that, I'm all in. Oh, the review! Great job.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your kind review. Yes, country living is hard. I don't have any livestock, just dogs. I'm too lazy for horses and cattle (ha,ha).
I'm sorry for the loss of your cattle that must have been hard.
Cecilia
Comment from Barry Penfold
Like this put together. Dark and the creatures of the night. I too love the sounds of the country at night. Not sure I would like to meet some of the animals, but your poem highlights the life and death struggle that night will bring.
Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Like this put together. Dark and the creatures of the night. I too love the sounds of the country at night. Not sure I would like to meet some of the animals, but your poem highlights the life and death struggle that night will bring.
Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Barry,
Thank you for the kind review. I'm with you I would't want to meet any face to face.
Cecilia
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written for the laws of nature and how it is when you live in the country and you have a farm with cattle and you have Robertson squirrels and other animals around, but the wolves come out and try to find a lonely cow to take down. May you have a wonderful day and God bless you. Patricia
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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This is very well written for the laws of nature and how it is when you live in the country and you have a farm with cattle and you have Robertson squirrels and other animals around, but the wolves come out and try to find a lonely cow to take down. May you have a wonderful day and God bless you. Patricia
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Patricia,
Thank you for the kind review. Here in Texas the farmer's put donkeys in the pasture to keep the coyotes from from getting close. I'm told they have a mean kick.
Cecilia
Comment from gramalot8
I was born and raised in a city environment. Then when married, we moved to another state nestled near the foothills. I lived there for 11 years and loved the sounds out in the country and especially at nighttime. I've since moved back to the city and really do miss the calmness of those nights.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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I was born and raised in a city environment. Then when married, we moved to another state nestled near the foothills. I lived there for 11 years and loved the sounds out in the country and especially at nighttime. I've since moved back to the city and really do miss the calmness of those nights.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. I have lived both city and country and I prefer country living. The nights are quiet in the country other than the night life
Cecilia
Comment from F. William Lester
The fact you said that you live in the country is exhibited in your writing. Very nicely done. I can see and hear the creatures of the night. One small point: in the last stanza -
All want to survive
Some will make it till daylight
Others won't be unfortunate
Feeding the creatures of the night - wouldn't it be better to say (third line) "Others will be unfortunate" or "Others won't be as fortunate"? The unfortunate ones are the ones that don't make it and feed the creatures of the night. Just something that caught my eye. Thanks for sharing it. Have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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The fact you said that you live in the country is exhibited in your writing. Very nicely done. I can see and hear the creatures of the night. One small point: in the last stanza -
All want to survive
Some will make it till daylight
Others won't be unfortunate
Feeding the creatures of the night - wouldn't it be better to say (third line) "Others will be unfortunate" or "Others won't be as fortunate"? The unfortunate ones are the ones that don't make it and feed the creatures of the night. Just something that caught my eye. Thanks for sharing it. Have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. I will take your suggestion and change it right away
Thank you for your service. What branch did you serve? I am a navy veteran myself and I sure do miss the camaraderie we all shared while serving.
Cecilia
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Hi Cecilia, I was in the Air Force. I retired in '91. I'm with you. I miss the camaraderie, too. I had a lot of good Navy friends. Thank you for your service as well. I'm glad my comments were helpful. Be well, Frank
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Frank,
Thank you for the suggestion. I changed it.
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You're very welcome, Cecilia. Have a good day.
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Frank you do the same.
Cecilia
Comment from DonandVicki
I live in the country, in the mountains as well and your poem describes the environment to a tee. The night time is the exact opposite from the safety of the daytime. Well written.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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I live in the country, in the mountains as well and your poem describes the environment to a tee. The night time is the exact opposite from the safety of the daytime. Well written.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Thank you for your kind review.
Cecilia
Comment from royowen
The thing that amazes me that the very environment that we live in is so well balanced, and it takes human beings to actually upset that particular balance that goes, and man is supposedly the caretaker of that, beautifully written Cecilia, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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The thing that amazes me that the very environment that we live in is so well balanced, and it takes human beings to actually upset that particular balance that goes, and man is supposedly the caretaker of that, beautifully written Cecilia, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
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Roy,
Thank you for the kind review. God created a beautiful environment for us to enjoy. You're correct that we don't take very good care of it.
Cecilia
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Well done Cecilia
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Thank you Roy.
Cecilia
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Welcome
