Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary

Excellent

Jim,

This is another great chapter to the book. It seems Fran is got herself in a pickle. I'm curious as to how she's going to escape. I wonder what happened to Dana or is she living her own nightmare.

Well done

Cecilia

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2025

Thanks so much, Cecilia. Hard to imagine how she will get out of this. And what has befallen Dana? Will she be able to help? Answers coming soon.

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

Wow, this chapter really grabbed me! The tension in this scene had me completely hooked. I felt Fran's fear - but also her determination. The dialogue between her and Woody felt so real. That last line was perfect. I can't wait to see how Fran gets out of this mess. Keep going - you've got something exciting here!

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2025

Thanks very much, Michael. Almost seems like an insolvable problem for Fran. I'm happy you're enjoying the tension of the situation. Will Woody stay true to his word and help Johnny? We'll see.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

Part of me is surprised that Fran walked into this, but I guess even trained police make mistakes. Now she's in a situation where she can't do much of anything, and will have to count on Dana and Marie to come to her aid.

Poor Johnny, sitting in a cage wondering where his mom and dad are.

With only four chapters left, I'll be able to finish this before I head to Colorado in 2 weeks.

xo

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2025

Except for the immediacy of rescuing an asthmatic Johnny, she probably would not have attempted to breach the house like that. Now, as you say, she's stuck where she can't do much. Tough situation for someone like her to be in.

Hard to imagine how a 1-year-old is processing all of this and what he must be feeling as it gets harder and harder to breathe.

What date are you leaving for Colorado? I'll make sure the last chapter is posted before that, Pam.

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 24-Mar-2025

You are SO kind, Jim! We leave Wednesday, April 9.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Where is Dana after that initial body search? She doesn't appear to say much, but I hope she is thinking and planning. I do think they were naive, not expecting miniature cameras, especially after the first tiny tracking device. Let's hope he can fumble through giving Johnny some medication! Very well written.
Wendy

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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2025

We'll see how Dana is faring in the next chapter. It's possible Fran thought about miniature cameras; we may never know. Her original intention was just to surveil the house, not to enter it alone, but when she heard Johnny's distressed breathing, it changed her mind about going in and the possible risk that would entail.

As you say, let's hope Woody can figure out how to give Johnny a helpful dose of his medicine.

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

What a motor mouth Woody is. I just can't see anyone doing all that blabbing.
I know you had to get some tension in, but you robbed Fran of all her professionalism.
But your writing was error-free. (smiley face here)

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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2025

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2025

I can't quite follow your train of remarks here, Wayne. We've got Woody blabbing, then you mention getting tension in, and then Fran's lack of professionalism. I don't see how these follow from each other.

Here's how I view things: I agree there is a certain lack of professionalism on Fran's part, mainly her allowing Dana to come along, but as I think we've agreed already, this is for plot purposes and not to be taken too seriously (like 140-year-old Slim). I thought you said in your previous review that you've already gotten in the spirit of things, but maybe not.

As far as Woody blabbing, yeah, okay, again not to be taken too seriously. He's not a typical bad guy. He was turned just recently. He also figures not to stick around, hence his mention of going to a place that lacks extradition. He figures what does he have to lose by explaining things to Fran.

I suggest reading this like you were watching a James Bond movie--just go with it, and don't be too concerned with extreme realism. This is a novel after all and just for fun. If you were to look very closely at the science, I'm sure there are some things that aren't perfectly realistic there too. My goal is only something that is entertaining and semi-plausible to non-experts rather than perfectly realistic.

reply by Wayne Fowler on 23-Mar-2025

"I don't see how these follow from each other."
2 paragraphs. 2 unrelated points