Emerald Isle
Viewing comments for Prologue "Spelunking - Emerald Isle"Invitation to Paradise
12 total reviews
Comment from Harambe iz ur Daddy
Hi author,
You have some good material here, though it is presented in a somewhat confusing manner. Where are the other chapters? Are they not linked into a book yet? There are details missing which you seem to be referencing. For example, why would they suspect that Eve and Max are connected somehow?
Your starting text is italicized but it doesn't seem to be backstory separating it from the rest of the text, or is it?
Cassidy and jake said it sounded like fun <= Jake
Max said, so, no weapons." <= needs a starting quotation before *so*
Several of the guests' reaction was <= reactions were OR say "several guests reacted 'no, thanks!'
Finally, Mark and Olivia decided to go to kind of keep a protective eye on the younger couple <= why "kind of"?
"What time does the tide start coming in?' <= double quote closed with a single quote
Who are all these people? Were they previously introduced in some other chapter?
I'll be happy to revisit this review rating if you can link in the other chapters and address all this stuff!
Thanks for the read, and best regards,
🦍
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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Hi author,
You have some good material here, though it is presented in a somewhat confusing manner. Where are the other chapters? Are they not linked into a book yet? There are details missing which you seem to be referencing. For example, why would they suspect that Eve and Max are connected somehow?
Your starting text is italicized but it doesn't seem to be backstory separating it from the rest of the text, or is it?
Cassidy and jake said it sounded like fun <= Jake
Max said, so, no weapons." <= needs a starting quotation before *so*
Several of the guests' reaction was <= reactions were OR say "several guests reacted 'no, thanks!'
Finally, Mark and Olivia decided to go to kind of keep a protective eye on the younger couple <= why "kind of"?
"What time does the tide start coming in?' <= double quote closed with a single quote
Who are all these people? Were they previously introduced in some other chapter?
I'll be happy to revisit this review rating if you can link in the other chapters and address all this stuff!
Thanks for the read, and best regards,
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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Begin Again started the story and asked for other writers to take up the chapters. I offered to take chapter 5, but didn't get around to it until last night and I was tired. Go to Begin Again's posts and down to Emerald Isle, and go from there.
I have a busy day today with physical therapy, etc. and don't have time to change all that, so just leave the 4.
Thanks for reading.
Katharine
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Ah thanks for explaining. Sorry if I was a bit brusque with this review. I'm surprised it did not show the rest of the book, but yes I've seen an earlier chapter in that book so now I understand what it's connected to. These co-author projects are a cool idea though they seem challenging to manage. 🦍
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I'm still waiting on an answer for how to fix it. I hate holding up Begin Again.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This chapter masterfully builds suspense and intrigue, drawing readers into a mysterious and unsettling vacation gone wrong. The eerie emptiness of the resort, the sudden disappearance of Eve, and Max's controlling demeanor all set the stage for an ominous adventure. The tension among the guests is palpable, with some eager to investigate and others wary of what lies ahead.
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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This chapter masterfully builds suspense and intrigue, drawing readers into a mysterious and unsettling vacation gone wrong. The eerie emptiness of the resort, the sudden disappearance of Eve, and Max's controlling demeanor all set the stage for an ominous adventure. The tension among the guests is palpable, with some eager to investigate and others wary of what lies ahead.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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Many thanks, Jasmine! Speaking of masterful, that is a masterful response!! and much appreciated.
Katharine
