Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I'm sorry that since I've been away I've missed so much, and it's obvious I've skipped some fun reads along the way. Just my luck. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Ric, for your review and comments. We're just glad to see you back. While you were gone, Carol started stories and challenged other writers to continue the story. Her previous one was a noir style private investigator tale. With different writers, the story went in all sorts of interesting directions.

Anyway, thanks again for reading my chapter, and for the stars.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I remember from the pervious post that something strange may have happened to Larry. Wasn't his name spelled Larry and not Lary as is in this post? I am enjoying this story and can't wait to read mor. Lori is a character.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Barbara for your review and comments. I noticed the previous author spelled 'Larry' the traditional way. However, I went with Carol's original way of spelling both Lori and Lary Benson. She created them as a couple with similar names. I'm glad your eagle eye picked that up. Yes, the character, Lori, is a married woman. I surely hope someone decides to continue the story.

Thanks again for reading, and for the stars.

Comment from Marilyn Hamilton

Excellent

I enjoyed this so far. That Mark is a big creep lol You wouldn't catch me walking into that cave. NOPE! I might walk in but I wouldn't go far and I definitely wouldn't go underground! I found one tiny typo.

At least [ he'll knows ] what to do in case we run into trouble."

Nicely written and great pace.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Marilyn, for your review and comments. I'm with you. No caves for me. Thanks for finding the typo. You can tell I thought of saying he'll know what to do, or he knows what to do. Of course I chose to mix them. Lol. Thanks again for reading, and for the stars.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This is mysterious and I enjoyed reading the chapter you have created. I didn't realize Carol's book is still continuing. The story is fun to read and I enjoyed this chapter.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Beth for your review and comments. I thought Carol's story was intriguing. I didn't want it to end, so I wrote a chapter. I hope someone decides to continue it. Thanks again for your review. I really appreciate it.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

This multi-author book is certainly full of surprises. I wonder where all the disappearing people have gone to. I almost think it will be sad to find out before some major revelation. kay

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Kay, for your review and comments. I wonder if contributors before me had the old movies in mind where guests in a hotel died. I remember such a movie called "And Then There Were None." If I were writing the whole thing, I'd come up with something else. Thanks again for reading, and for your generous stars.

Comment from Harry Craft

Excellent

A half hour after Max and the remaining five tourists continued walking, they heard a blood curdling scream echoing through the cave. This is my favorite line of the story because it leads the reader to believe something bad is going to happen when it is not. Great story, keep up the great work!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Harry, for your review and comments. My thoughts were that the scream could have been because of bats, OR something else happened. I hope someone decides to continue the story. Thanks again for reading and for the stars.

reply by Harry Craft on 02-Apr-2025

Lol! Yes, me too. You are so welcome!

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

I love how you've created such a tense atmosphere with your story! The slow buildup made me feel like I'm on this journey with the characters. Max adds to the sense of danger. I'm hooked! I'm excited to see how everything unfolds! Keep up the great work - you're doing a fantastic job at keeping us on edge!

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Michael, for your review and comments. This is a multi-author book, created by Begin Again (Carol). It was fun to write something after five other authors. I hope someone decides to write a chapter after this one. Thanks again for reading, and for your generous stars.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Isn't it funny, that the people that ventured into the wilds of the cave will probably
all return safely, but the one that stayed behind is lost, a thrilling thriller, like a Agatha Christie, or on of a number of English mysteries, I'm impressed, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Roy, for your review and insightful comments. I had fun dreaming this stuff up. I enjoy reading these types of mysteries. I hope someone adds to the story. Thanks again for reading. I really appreciate your time.

reply by royowen on 02-Apr-2025

Excellent wrork

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Bravo! You did an excellent job of taking us on not only an adventure deep inside a cave, but you built tension as to what is actually happening...Is Max the bad guy? Or is something else lurking in the shadows? And Lori's scream - bats or Noah perhaps? So many questions...A really good chapter. Thank you for joining in.
Smiles and hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Carol, for creating this story, and for your review of my chapter. I love reading these types of mysteries. When I was a kid, I remember a black and white movie on TV called "And Then There Were None." All I remember is that people kept disappearing. I don't recall what happened to them. I surely hope someone decides to continue this story. Thanks again for reading and for the stars.

Comment from Tim Margetts

Excellent

I really enjoyed this addition, Lorraine.
A classic setup with a modern voice. There's something delightfully unsettling about Max, and Olivia's constant unease adds great contrast to Mark's dismissiveness.
The cave is a perfect slow-burn setting, with rich sensory detail that builds atmosphere without slowing the pace.
Lori's flirtation with Mark is well-played-slightly trashy, just enough to raise eyebrows and questions.
And the twist with the elevator was a great swerve; I fully expected someone to disappear then and there, which makes the delay all the more delicious.
Only minor quibble: the repeated "wiggle" description for Lori jumped out. Swapping one for something subtler would keep the prose a bit smoother.
I'm already itching to know what's really going on-and who'll vanish next.
Tim x

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2025

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025

Thank you Tim, for your thorough review and helpful comments. I agree with your suggestion to select another word rather than repeat "wiggle." I didn't realize I did that. I enjoy reading these types of mysteries. I hope you perhaps, or someone decides to add to the story Carol started. Thanks again for reading and for the stars.

reply by Tim Margetts on 02-Apr-2025

I get word worms all the time, and I have to correct myself, if I spot them. Often it takes anothers eyes to see these little moments when we get hung up on a random word.
Tim x