Purgatory's Hill
An English sonnet22 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
hi alvin there are so many different thoughts in this that culminate in a declaration of faith...it is lovely and i will someday attempt some of these poems...for now i will just enjoy the others who bring forth the beautful thoughts, words and faith..great read...yours, diana
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2008
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hi alvin there are so many different thoughts in this that culminate in a declaration of faith...it is lovely and i will someday attempt some of these poems...for now i will just enjoy the others who bring forth the beautful thoughts, words and faith..great read...yours, diana
Comment Written 15-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2008
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Yes, I think you would be quite good at them. When we meet in June, I want to talk about you illustrating my book "Luisa." Thanks for a great review.
Comment from complicatedrenee
Your rhyme scheme works well here. Sometimes when I read these this type of poetry I stumble or get caught up reading and re-reading a particular line. I didn't have this problem with this piece. The quality of your work shows why you are such an accomplished writer. Thank you for sharing.
Renee'
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Your rhyme scheme works well here. Sometimes when I read these this type of poetry I stumble or get caught up reading and re-reading a particular line. I didn't have this problem with this piece. The quality of your work shows why you are such an accomplished writer. Thank you for sharing.
Renee'
Comment Written 15-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Thanks you for such kind words. They are truly appreciated.
Comment from Lokman
Hello,
May I just point out a couple of lines that resonated with me for their truthfulness in what many feel?
I want to live my life maliciously
And never rise above a selfish brute
I almost feel apologetic about picking those out, but you struck at the very heart of what most people won't say.
Well done.
Shea
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Hello,
May I just point out a couple of lines that resonated with me for their truthfulness in what many feel?
I want to live my life maliciously
And never rise above a selfish brute
I almost feel apologetic about picking those out, but you struck at the very heart of what most people won't say.
Well done.
Shea
Comment Written 15-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Yes, that's what I included those lines. There was something about "sinful" human nature that at the time I wrote this, I thought needed to be pointed out. Thanks for a good review. (Please do remember to send me the info about myths at AlvinTEthington@aol.com.)
Comment from Sleep
Hello Alvin T,
This is a very self analytical piece by the subject in the piece following an apparent act of immoral or inappropriate contact with the temptations of the opposite sex.
Unsure in the first verse whether the subject turns to look for the sexual partner or to God, that could of course just be down to my misinterpretation or not.
Does not affect the quality of the poem in any case, in fact I think it perhaps adds a very interesting air of mystery.
Regards,
Neil.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Hello Alvin T,
This is a very self analytical piece by the subject in the piece following an apparent act of immoral or inappropriate contact with the temptations of the opposite sex.
Unsure in the first verse whether the subject turns to look for the sexual partner or to God, that could of course just be down to my misinterpretation or not.
Does not affect the quality of the poem in any case, in fact I think it perhaps adds a very interesting air of mystery.
Regards,
Neil.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Yes, does the protagonist see God in the lover? That's the question I wanted the reader to ask. Thank you for noticing that.
Comment from Scarlettdreams
Very nice. I don't think any of us are forsaken. I do believe there is a reckoning and so there should be, but I think God always knows our hearts. smiles. Bravo
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Very nice. I don't think any of us are forsaken. I do believe there is a reckoning and so there should be, but I think God always knows our hearts. smiles. Bravo
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2008
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Yes, that's a Biblical quotation--I Sam 16:7--"Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looked on the heart." Thanks for a great review.
Comment from tony bronk
I wish that I had a six for this one my friend. A good poem of overcoming and transcending the baser, immediate needs and desires, and instead choosing the high road. Very good write. Tony
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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I wish that I had a six for this one my friend. A good poem of overcoming and transcending the baser, immediate needs and desires, and instead choosing the high road. Very good write. Tony
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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Thanks; You "caught" exact what I wanted to convey. Thanks again for a good review.
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you are most welcome my friend. How has life been treating you. I'm interested to know. I guess your poem explained some of that question. I hope you are doing well, my friend. Tony
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The poem is not recent; I found it in my private portfolio. The anthology my last poems are published in is not doing as well as I would like, but I keep plugging along. Thanks for asking.
Comment from tteach
No matter what mistakes I do now make
The Lord my God will not my soul forsake.
This is an important "turn," as one has to believe that God will, indeed, forgive. However, the sinner must repent, and I didn't sense repetence from the narrator of this poem.
This is a well written, carefully crafted poem. Every word works, every line leads us to the next. I am glad that you explained that cruel is monosyllabic, or someone would have "dinged" you for sure!
terry
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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No matter what mistakes I do now make
The Lord my God will not my soul forsake.
This is an important "turn," as one has to believe that God will, indeed, forgive. However, the sinner must repent, and I didn't sense repetence from the narrator of this poem.
This is a well written, carefully crafted poem. Every word works, every line leads us to the next. I am glad that you explained that cruel is monosyllabic, or someone would have "dinged" you for sure!
terry
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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That's interesting. I saw repentance in lines nine and ten. Would you be so kind as to tell me why you don't think they are strong enough? I value your opinion. Thanks for a great review.
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But I have promised God and ev'ry friend
That I would lead a life of charity
You are right...the repentence is there. Even so, I did not sense that the narrator was firm enough...not sure why. Maybe it's because of the next lines, in which the narrator says that no matter what I do, God will forgive me. That makes is sound as if the narrator HOPES to sin no more, but temptation being what it is, well, there goes resolution. Does that make sense?
terry
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Yes, I was hoping to contrast the frailty of humanity with the strength of God. I am sorry that didn't come through more clearly.
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There is nothing to be "sorry" for. It is a great poem, well written, as always. In pure form, there is the twist at the end.
Are there stronger words that would convey the feeling that you strive for? Not sure. Right now my mind can't conjure any.
terry
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I have been trying to come up with stronger words for over a year--that's why the poem hasn't been posted until now. If you think of any, let me know. Thanks.
Comment from Judian James
Alvin, although quite sad, this is an excellent piece. Nothing is sadder than unrequited love. To want to give one's heart to someone who doesn't care or feel the same way. You have written a powerfully, poignant piece evoking much emotion from the reader, and of course the rhythm and flow is superb!
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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Alvin, although quite sad, this is an excellent piece. Nothing is sadder than unrequited love. To want to give one's heart to someone who doesn't care or feel the same way. You have written a powerfully, poignant piece evoking much emotion from the reader, and of course the rhythm and flow is superb!
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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Thank you; you are far too kind. I wonder why I write poignant poems so much better than happy poems....
Comment from Josipher32
This was a wondefully written sonnet for this storytelling poetry. I will be entering the same contest, so I don't want to wish you too much luck,, Ha!
I'll race ya! First one to win a site-sponsored contest, gets a cookie! Ha!
Good flow and perfect ten beat syllable count per line.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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This was a wondefully written sonnet for this storytelling poetry. I will be entering the same contest, so I don't want to wish you too much luck,, Ha!
I'll race ya! First one to win a site-sponsored contest, gets a cookie! Ha!
Good flow and perfect ten beat syllable count per line.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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Thanks for a great review. I make much better cajeta than cookies.
Comment from Melba
Nicely done. Easy reading and go flow. I love the English sonnet. I haven't seen too many of them or either I just haven't noticed them. This one has a nice flair.
Melba
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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Nicely done. Easy reading and go flow. I love the English sonnet. I haven't seen too many of them or either I just haven't noticed them. This one has a nice flair.
Melba
Comment Written 29-Mar-2008
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
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There should be about twenty of them in my portfolio, and I just published three--"Spiritual Physician", "Ignoble End", and "Tashlikh." Thanks for a great review.