Olivia
Daddy taught his little girl well.......49 total reviews
Comment from Amfunny
Carol, I love this story. It is an excellent one. I love the little twists in it too. I enjoyed every word and loved all the little details you provided, such as her father's cruelty. Very well written. Loved it.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2010
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Carol, I love this story. It is an excellent one. I love the little twists in it too. I enjoyed every word and loved all the little details you provided, such as her father's cruelty. Very well written. Loved it.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2010
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Norma Jean
Thank you so much for reading and understanding the emotions hidden within the story. I appreciate it very much. CArol
Comment from Writeaway...
Excellent job on your story once again Begin Again, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Excellent job on your story once again Begin Again, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, keep writing!!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Jake
So glad you enjoyed by bit of a thriller... Contest is over now for my other one so I can ask if you read Surprise? Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written story. Your ending twist was weakened by the episode at the beach. I knew she had killed her father.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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This is a very well written story. Your ending twist was weakened by the episode at the beach. I knew she had killed her father.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Charlie
Thanks for the review. At that point, I wanted the reader to know she'd killed her dad...the remainder was just tying up loose ends and giving the reason. Appreciate the review. Carol
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Remind me not to make you angry. You're welcome, Carol. Charlie
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Carol ....
This certainly is an interesting story with an unexpected twist in the tail of the tale!! You are a very good writer and your well-chosen words provide descriptions that bring them alive for your readers.
There is just one very small correction to be made ...
* You have - She'd refused to remove it from her wall' a fact that highly irritated Daddy ... I believe this should be - from her wall - a fact that ....
Thank you for sharing this writing with us. Your imagination provides us all with an endless variety of
well-told stories.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Hullo Carol ....
This certainly is an interesting story with an unexpected twist in the tail of the tale!! You are a very good writer and your well-chosen words provide descriptions that bring them alive for your readers.
There is just one very small correction to be made ...
* You have - She'd refused to remove it from her wall' a fact that highly irritated Daddy ... I believe this should be - from her wall - a fact that ....
Thank you for sharing this writing with us. Your imagination provides us all with an endless variety of
well-told stories.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Nanette
Believe my comma got the hiccups and turned into a asterik instead...lol..Thanks for bringing that to my attention and for enjoying the story. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from eliz100
You have written a very powerful story which I have enjoyed from beginning to end. Your story telling is very good. I as the reader needed to keep reading out of curiosity.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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You have written a very powerful story which I have enjoyed from beginning to end. Your story telling is very good. I as the reader needed to keep reading out of curiosity.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Eliz
I am thrilled whenever you say you couldn't stop reading..had to finish it. Thanks so much for being entertained and enjoying it. Smiles to you,Carol
Comment from melyuki
well well well, I promise to be a good sister and never do anything that will make you angry sis. otherwise you might plan some mighty revenge job... Golly gosh, girl, where is your head at now. what an amazing story you have concocted.
Now as I read each line, I kept thinking to myself, this woman has talent. The way you tell the story, the words you use to describe the scene, and the way you link ideas with mystery and adventure is just outstanding. I am going to keep on harping about your brilliance until the day I see your name in print, with published works by the one and only Carol Cichella...... great job again Sis. and so worth coming home to sit and read your creation. 100% and more for this grand masterpiece. what more can an amateurish fellow writer say, but, awesome. I'd take lessons from you anyday. hugs to you my superbrain, luv Melxxxxxx
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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well well well, I promise to be a good sister and never do anything that will make you angry sis. otherwise you might plan some mighty revenge job... Golly gosh, girl, where is your head at now. what an amazing story you have concocted.
Now as I read each line, I kept thinking to myself, this woman has talent. The way you tell the story, the words you use to describe the scene, and the way you link ideas with mystery and adventure is just outstanding. I am going to keep on harping about your brilliance until the day I see your name in print, with published works by the one and only Carol Cichella...... great job again Sis. and so worth coming home to sit and read your creation. 100% and more for this grand masterpiece. what more can an amateurish fellow writer say, but, awesome. I'd take lessons from you anyday. hugs to you my superbrain, luv Melxxxxxx
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Sis
You are fantastic for my ego and lift my spirits with your laughter. Thank you for all your kind words and I know they come with hugs and smiles...You are terrific! Sis
Comment from Xuders
This writer has significant imagination, which makes this vengeance story compelling. The Daddy character does indeed come across as cruel and controlling; Olivia seems reasonable, even as we figure out she's a poisoner; the appearance of Grandma is a nice surprise. This story develops nicely, in a way that is gratifying to the reader.
One suggestion: "emerald eyes" is a cliche of genre fiction. I'd avoid this phrase and substitute something less familiar.
Overall, a good job.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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This writer has significant imagination, which makes this vengeance story compelling. The Daddy character does indeed come across as cruel and controlling; Olivia seems reasonable, even as we figure out she's a poisoner; the appearance of Grandma is a nice surprise. This story develops nicely, in a way that is gratifying to the reader.
One suggestion: "emerald eyes" is a cliche of genre fiction. I'd avoid this phrase and substitute something less familiar.
Overall, a good job.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Redux
Redux
Thank you for your suggestion and for enjoying the story. I appreciate your comments. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from bhogg
So well done I was tempted to cheat and go to the bottom to see what happened. I was impressed with the tightness of words - no fluff or repititiveness.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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So well done I was tempted to cheat and go to the bottom to see what happened. I was impressed with the tightness of words - no fluff or repititiveness.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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bhogg
No cheating now....Smiles to you...thanks for reading and enjoying the story., Your comments are much appreciated. CArol
Comment from patwannabe
Carol, I'm not sure whether I'm glad or sorry that my head isn't as packed full of stories as yours. Would love to have the stories, but I'm not sure I could sleep. I'd be too busy writing them down. At least you're not tangling one with another.
Some of the thoughts running through my head as I finished reading this was, what will happen when they find a body in the ocean? Why waste a perfectly good oriental rug? She better hope the sharks get busy quick. First they'll have to unwind the rug. Maybe by that time he'll be very ripe and delicious.
I understand about controlling males. Good job, pat
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Carol, I'm not sure whether I'm glad or sorry that my head isn't as packed full of stories as yours. Would love to have the stories, but I'm not sure I could sleep. I'd be too busy writing them down. At least you're not tangling one with another.
Some of the thoughts running through my head as I finished reading this was, what will happen when they find a body in the ocean? Why waste a perfectly good oriental rug? She better hope the sharks get busy quick. First they'll have to unwind the rug. Maybe by that time he'll be very ripe and delicious.
I understand about controlling males. Good job, pat
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Pat
Thank you so much for your kind review as always. I have one more out there but it is in a blind...May you will discover it. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from Mrs Jones
OMG Carol you are becoming evil. Just kidding. An excellent write. The ending was unforseen. Bad Grandma. I enjoyed the story. Wish I had a six for you. No nits.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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OMG Carol you are becoming evil. Just kidding. An excellent write. The ending was unforseen. Bad Grandma. I enjoyed the story. Wish I had a six for you. No nits.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Rose
Wait till you find the one I just posted...I think I'll have nightmares myself...LOL Thanks for the great review...Take care, Carol