Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Innocently Indecent"A book of a mixture of stories
62 total reviews
Comment from Readywriter52
The man looking at the house seemed to have been pleasantly surprised. I sure Becky was as happy to see him as he was to see her. Who knows, she might be willing to come with the house.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2010
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The man looking at the house seemed to have been pleasantly surprised. I sure Becky was as happy to see him as he was to see her. Who knows, she might be willing to come with the house.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2010
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Readywriter,
One never knows what might develop...though I think the prospective buyers would multiple if word got out...smiles, CArol
Comment from Sally Carter
You are the master of storytelling in my book, and this does not disappoint.
A great take on the theme of innocent indecency. It is pacy, absorbing from the first sentence, and never flags right up to the final paragraph. I love the gentle humour as well, with the trail of clothes down the hallway and the response of the potential buyer.
Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your stories. It's been a while!
Yours, Sally
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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You are the master of storytelling in my book, and this does not disappoint.
A great take on the theme of innocent indecency. It is pacy, absorbing from the first sentence, and never flags right up to the final paragraph. I love the gentle humour as well, with the trail of clothes down the hallway and the response of the potential buyer.
Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your stories. It's been a while!
Yours, Sally
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Sally,
What a pleasure to have you review one of my stories and to lift my spirits so high with your generous comments. I can't thank you enough. smiles, Carol
Comment from Ann Smith
I would give this a six, if I had one. I like the twist and turns in the story. The details are good and lets me see the setting each step of the way. There is not any drags and I keep reading wanting to know what is going to happen next. When the real estate agent comes you think you know what is going to happen, but that is okay because it adds a little humor. I like how you finished with the last sentence. Good luck with the contest. ann
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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I would give this a six, if I had one. I like the twist and turns in the story. The details are good and lets me see the setting each step of the way. There is not any drags and I keep reading wanting to know what is going to happen next. When the real estate agent comes you think you know what is going to happen, but that is okay because it adds a little humor. I like how you finished with the last sentence. Good luck with the contest. ann
Comment Written 20-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Ann,
Thanks for the wonderful review. I tried to figure how I could keep the reader from knowing when the realtor came but I guess it was inevitable. Appreciate the kind comments. Smiles to you, Carol
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I like the fact that I kind of knew what was going to happen. Sometimes it is kind of nice being in on the fun. ann
Comment from eyesonly
Cute, very cute. This certainly fits the theme 'innocently indecent' very nicely. I enjoyed this contest entry very much. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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Cute, very cute. This certainly fits the theme 'innocently indecent' very nicely. I enjoyed this contest entry very much. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2010
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eyesonly,
Thanks for the kind review. Can you imagine the waiting line of prospective buyers if the news got out...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Moe Dylan
You did a very good job on this piece and I found it a good read from beginning to end. It had a good conflict and good, believable internal and external dialogue. It was also summarized well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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You did a very good job on this piece and I found it a good read from beginning to end. It had a good conflict and good, believable internal and external dialogue. It was also summarized well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Moe
Glad you enjoyed the story. I appreciate your comments. Carol
Comment from IndianaIrish
This is just wonderful, Carol. I enjoyed the progress of the story and I liked Becky instantly. I'm glad my scrubs don't have buttons...that would drive me crazy. lol Best wishes in the contest.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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This is just wonderful, Carol. I enjoyed the progress of the story and I liked Becky instantly. I'm glad my scrubs don't have buttons...that would drive me crazy. lol Best wishes in the contest.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 12-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Indy,
Yeah, most of my youngest daughters' scrubs are pull over ones, but Wendy wears a turtle neck and the button down ones... Thanks for the review...Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh so cute. I loved it, you do such a wonderful job with short storied. I didn't see one mechanical error in this. It was so much fun to read, I may have missed them. Good luck with the contest, you have it easily with this entry.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Oh so cute. I loved it, you do such a wonderful job with short storied. I didn't see one mechanical error in this. It was so much fun to read, I may have missed them. Good luck with the contest, you have it easily with this entry.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Barbara,
Awesome...Thanks for the generous and much appreciated comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
outstanding story from an outstanding writer!
the image was so romantic that i felt nothing else could fit in with such a beautiful artwork. great effort!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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outstanding story from an outstanding writer!
the image was so romantic that i felt nothing else could fit in with such a beautiful artwork. great effort!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Kashif,
I am thrilled that you connected with this little story. It was fun and enjoyable to write. Smiles, Carol
Comment from becky7777
well that is a great way to sell a house LOL great story. meeting all the requirements for the contest. nothing to change great as is. good luck!!
Becky
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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well that is a great way to sell a house LOL great story. meeting all the requirements for the contest. nothing to change great as is. good luck!!
Becky
Comment Written 11-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Becky,
Purely innocent...but can you imagine the line of prospective buyers if they thought she was included? Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sherelynne
I really enjoyed reading this short story particularly as I am a nurse in an ED. 12 hour shifts are absolutely the rule rather than the exception. And it is so true that you are extremely exhausted mentally and physically after working.
Just one question though, you didn't mean two 12 hour shifts back to back, did you? Because it can no longer be done. It is against the law. (At least in New Jersey anyway).
Really loved it and the title.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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I really enjoyed reading this short story particularly as I am a nurse in an ED. 12 hour shifts are absolutely the rule rather than the exception. And it is so true that you are extremely exhausted mentally and physically after working.
Just one question though, you didn't mean two 12 hour shifts back to back, did you? Because it can no longer be done. It is against the law. (At least in New Jersey anyway).
Really loved it and the title.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2010
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Sherelynne
Awesome...Glad you enjoyed the story.
I researched and found that only 15 states currently have a restriction of 16 hours or less...the others have not followed suit as yet...But thank you for bringing that to my attention...
I appreciate the kind review and generous comments and stars. You put a smile on my face this morning...
Smiles, CArol