The Empty Bed
It's lonely at the top72 total reviews
Comment from Isaiah Gomez
This was an enticing read, the conspiracy, wrapped with a deviant ploy of sexuality and temptation. an interesting plot line, with the DOD and an explosion of an end. Well done.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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This was an enticing read, the conspiracy, wrapped with a deviant ploy of sexuality and temptation. an interesting plot line, with the DOD and an explosion of an end. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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You certainly caught the undertones. Good job.
Comment from Majicman
Wow! I just read a very powerful story of love and deceit. Excellent work. If you don't win the contest I don't know what other people are thinking. I think I'll change by 5 star rating to six.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Wow! I just read a very powerful story of love and deceit. Excellent work. If you don't win the contest I don't know what other people are thinking. I think I'll change by 5 star rating to six.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks for the extraordinary review; I am most grateful.
Comment from Ms. Gray
I enjoyed your suspenseful story this morning. I like the way you incorporated the age-old cheating husband story with details out of the current news. I did have to take a leap of belief with the lonely female character. She was just too trusting for a woman with a powerful position in a large important company. But otherwise a good yarn.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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I enjoyed your suspenseful story this morning. I like the way you incorporated the age-old cheating husband story with details out of the current news. I did have to take a leap of belief with the lonely female character. She was just too trusting for a woman with a powerful position in a large important company. But otherwise a good yarn.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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You're right--I need to work on her character. I shall if and when I publish this piece. Thanks for a superb review.
Comment from whitteron
Very clever. You seem to dialogue well in a woman's voice, all that guilt. I don't think a man would have that?
Anyway, this was a fun read. I hope you'll take the time to give me a little feed back sometime. I'd appreciate it.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Very clever. You seem to dialogue well in a woman's voice, all that guilt. I don't think a man would have that?
Anyway, this was a fun read. I hope you'll take the time to give me a little feed back sometime. I'd appreciate it.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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I need to work on the woman's character. She is too trusting.
Do you want me to review anything of yours?
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Stunning writing, Mr. Ethington! Excellent character development accompanied with authentic dialog. (Terrific contrast of inner voices as well, bad vs. good, proper vs. improper, etc.) Story line was clear and well developed with a cliff-hanging ending. A terrific read from first word to last.
Bravo!
Miss Seraph~
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Stunning writing, Mr. Ethington! Excellent character development accompanied with authentic dialog. (Terrific contrast of inner voices as well, bad vs. good, proper vs. improper, etc.) Story line was clear and well developed with a cliff-hanging ending. A terrific read from first word to last.
Bravo!
Miss Seraph~
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks. I still think I need to work on the woman's character. She is too trusting.
Comment from Babibrn
GREAT JOB!!!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING? YOU HAVE A GREAT FLOW WITH YOUR STORY.YOUR DESCRIPTIONS AND EXPLANATIONS ARE GOOD. I ENJOYED READING THIS PIECE. THANK YOU.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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GREAT JOB!!!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING? YOU HAVE A GREAT FLOW WITH YOUR STORY.YOUR DESCRIPTIONS AND EXPLANATIONS ARE GOOD. I ENJOYED READING THIS PIECE. THANK YOU.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. I have been writing since high school.
Comment from L.lora
Well could we hope it is a
misplaced alarm clock in the
pantry or purhaps an egg timer?
No, I guess not--excellent discriptions
and great dialogue. I especially like
the mental notes, very realistic. An
unusual story, hooks the reader right
off. Smooth and easy flowing, enjoyable.
no nits or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Well could we hope it is a
misplaced alarm clock in the
pantry or purhaps an egg timer?
No, I guess not--excellent discriptions
and great dialogue. I especially like
the mental notes, very realistic. An
unusual story, hooks the reader right
off. Smooth and easy flowing, enjoyable.
no nits or spags. Lora
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review; I still think I need to work on the woman's character. She is too trusting.
Comment from tteach
I love how you set up the story. We like Katherine and want to see her happy, despite her wavering. Llyod, on the other hand, is difficult to perceive. We hear about his broken marriage, and question his sincerity at being there to pretect his boss. His moves are well-practiced and accomplish want he wants. The end carries surprises. We know it's Lloyd's wife making the threats, but she also carries them out.
well done. An enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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I love how you set up the story. We like Katherine and want to see her happy, despite her wavering. Llyod, on the other hand, is difficult to perceive. We hear about his broken marriage, and question his sincerity at being there to pretect his boss. His moves are well-practiced and accomplish want he wants. The end carries surprises. We know it's Lloyd's wife making the threats, but she also carries them out.
well done. An enjoyable read.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a good review; I need to work on the woman's character. She is too trusting.
Comment from koneart
I didn't know you were such a great story teller. Scary and suspenseful. Very well written. I found one very small typo. You'll find it below in [ ]s plus a comment.
You truly dragged me through the story using two angles.... The married man and the threats. Then the two themes crashed into each other. I appreciate good grammar, though when writing my own stories, I can't see my errors. I buzzed through this with ease. And, that's the goal is it not? To keep the reader comfortable and happy. You did both here. Very well done. Kone
"Well... Aren't you married, Lloyd?' [need apostrophe here (")]
So what? The bad girl chimed in. He's drop dead gorgeous. [I love her logic]
"Well, Lloyd, what exactly are you proposing?" I had learned in business to let men take credit for all the ideas. It had hastened my trot up the corporate ladder. [Great line! I love it!]
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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I didn't know you were such a great story teller. Scary and suspenseful. Very well written. I found one very small typo. You'll find it below in [ ]s plus a comment.
You truly dragged me through the story using two angles.... The married man and the threats. Then the two themes crashed into each other. I appreciate good grammar, though when writing my own stories, I can't see my errors. I buzzed through this with ease. And, that's the goal is it not? To keep the reader comfortable and happy. You did both here. Very well done. Kone
"Well... Aren't you married, Lloyd?' [need apostrophe here (")]
So what? The bad girl chimed in. He's drop dead gorgeous. [I love her logic]
"Well, Lloyd, what exactly are you proposing?" I had learned in business to let men take credit for all the ideas. It had hastened my trot up the corporate ladder. [Great line! I love it!]
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. You are right about the error. I'll correct it when and if I publish it. I need to work on the woman's character. She's too vulnerable.
Comment from bagels
The writer could have written this story to a more sophisticated reader. The word "laid" was used too often. There are many more subtle substitutes for that phrase.
Also using DOD without using it at least once as Department of Defense detracted me until I figured out what it stood for, otherwise it was fast easy reading.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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The writer could have written this story to a more sophisticated reader. The word "laid" was used too often. There are many more subtle substitutes for that phrase.
Also using DOD without using it at least once as Department of Defense detracted me until I figured out what it stood for, otherwise it was fast easy reading.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2010
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Thanks for a good review. For clarification, I thought I used Department of Defense the first time there was a reference to it. Did I not?