The Watcher
Class warfare29 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
Miss Andrews might've been better off if she had joined the Communist Party. I enjoyed this read and couldn't find anything to criticize. It's excellent writing.
Dave
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Susan,
Miss Andrews might've been better off if she had joined the Communist Party. I enjoyed this read and couldn't find anything to criticize. It's excellent writing.
Dave
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Hi Dave! thank you! LOL, what a funny comment! Good one! I am thrilled that you liked this! Susan
Comment from Max Edon
I thought that this was a great story. I really liked the ending. I thought that the first sentence was a bit of a tongue-twister, though.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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I thought that this was a great story. I really liked the ending. I thought that the first sentence was a bit of a tongue-twister, though.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Hi Max! Thank you, I will check the first sentence if I can get the time and see? I do appreciate your thoughts too...thank you again! Susan
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You are welcome
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Susan,
Whoa!
This is chilling.
Eerie.
Powerful.
Good descriptions.
Interesting characters.
You capture envy well.
Great ending.
Good job.
Katie
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Susan,
Whoa!
This is chilling.
Eerie.
Powerful.
Good descriptions.
Interesting characters.
You capture envy well.
Great ending.
Good job.
Katie
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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HI Miss Katie! Thank you again, you are spoiling me my friend! LUV!! Susan
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you're welcome.
luv,
katie
Comment from juliaSjames
You really slipped inside the skin of your character, Susan. The kind of rage you describe is what fuels senseless shootings. And, alas, the mores of a consumer society add fuel to the flames of envy, just as much as social differences.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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You really slipped inside the skin of your character, Susan. The kind of rage you describe is what fuels senseless shootings. And, alas, the mores of a consumer society add fuel to the flames of envy, just as much as social differences.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi Julia! Please forgive me for this late reply? I am so far behind again. Lord. You are so right, I'm glad you see the important message here. HUGS for this kind review...Suse
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
your flash fiction story is very written and spine tingling. Excellent narrative, great dialogue and very descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. How original a psychotic maid about to kill her employers daughter I'm assuming. You muse is evil on this one, my friend. Keep up the wonderful writing.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Susan,
your flash fiction story is very written and spine tingling. Excellent narrative, great dialogue and very descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. How original a psychotic maid about to kill her employers daughter I'm assuming. You muse is evil on this one, my friend. Keep up the wonderful writing.
Melissa.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Hi Melissa! How are you? I am always so happy when you read for me. I think you should always win the reviewer award! Bless you for being such a good friend...love, susan
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I am 44 years old. My b day is 07/14/1966. I love your stories, Susan. By the way I have a sister names Suzanne Denise. We call her SuzzyQ. She's four years younger than me and I got to tease her back on June 8 when she turned the big 40.
Melissa.
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") I wish I were your age again! I still had some spunk too back then! HA! I will jot your b-day down and try to remember it! My dad used to call me Susie and Susie Q too. Cherish your sister, she sounds nice too! You guys just wait til the 60 looms! GOD. ") Susan
Comment from animatqua
This ending is better, but again, there isn't much within the story to allow the reader to figure out what the destiny referred to is. Suicide is a supposition, but there needs to be more of a foundation in the body of the work.
You have a real talent for getting emotion across, but work is needed to pull the story altogether. I have some ideas, but this is your story. If you think I can help, PM me and I will.`
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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This ending is better, but again, there isn't much within the story to allow the reader to figure out what the destiny referred to is. Suicide is a supposition, but there needs to be more of a foundation in the body of the work.
You have a real talent for getting emotion across, but work is needed to pull the story altogether. I have some ideas, but this is your story. If you think I can help, PM me and I will.`
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi there! Please forgive me this short reply? I am so sorry for being this far behind...I will read this again and see what you see? Thank you for this kind and honest review! I appreciate it a lot! Susan
Comment from Carrie Smith
Okay Sweet girl, another great Flash. You certainly describe true envy using great descriptive words. The feeling of the maid and her reaction was well said, but extreme-I love that! Hugs...Susan
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Okay Sweet girl, another great Flash. You certainly describe true envy using great descriptive words. The feeling of the maid and her reaction was well said, but extreme-I love that! Hugs...Susan
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2011
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Hi Susan! Thank you so much! I didn't know if you would like this, but glad that you did. Thanks for being here for me! Love, susan
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You"re welcome Suse! I really did! I'll try and write you a PM tonight-am having to hurry and get to a doc apointment this a.m. LOL...susan
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It is such a shame that there are have and have nots. I wish we could all truly be equal as we are in the eyes of God. I don't know how to acheive that.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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It is such a shame that there are have and have nots. I wish we could all truly be equal as we are in the eyes of God. I don't know how to acheive that.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi Barb! Please forgive me, I am so late with this reply. I agree with you. There is no real answer to this problem. Obama is called a socialist for wanting the rich to help the poor? I don't know what else there is for it. The Bible says, "give to the poor"? I don't know. BUT, thank you for reading this and for this kind review too!! Luv, Susan
Comment from bowls
A very strong and abrupt ending, but perfectly matched to the plot line you've developed to that point. You've done a good job of revealing the inner workings of this poor woman's mind so we can accept as plausible the action she takes. Very good use of the first person narrator so we see the object of her envy through her own eyes. Two little things: "fell on it's cover" should be ITS and "maids uniform" should be MAID'S.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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A very strong and abrupt ending, but perfectly matched to the plot line you've developed to that point. You've done a good job of revealing the inner workings of this poor woman's mind so we can accept as plausible the action she takes. Very good use of the first person narrator so we see the object of her envy through her own eyes. Two little things: "fell on it's cover" should be ITS and "maids uniform" should be MAID'S.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi Fausto! Thank you. I will fix the its too! Also maid's! Hug for helping and being a kind and faithful fanfriend...susan
Comment from c_lucas
Submitting to anger is not a solution. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Submitting to anger is not a solution. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi Charlie! I am so sorry for this late reply...how right you are and I appreciate your thoughts on this...good to hear from you!! Susan
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You're welcome, Susan. Charlie