Coaxing Sorrow
Impact of Alzheimers on relationship with mother.27 total reviews
Comment from pigwit
The lines below were the ones I found to be the most powerful. The paint box metaphor was especially powerful. I large swath of my family is similar to the mother in this story so it hits home. -- Pigwit
You threw me a curve.
Your paint box never held sad and vulnerable,
Now here stand I, your prodigy
To share with you my humanness
As it evolves today.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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The lines below were the ones I found to be the most powerful. The paint box metaphor was especially powerful. I large swath of my family is similar to the mother in this story so it hits home. -- Pigwit
You threw me a curve.
Your paint box never held sad and vulnerable,
Now here stand I, your prodigy
To share with you my humanness
As it evolves today.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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Just writing about it helped me resolve some issues of my own, concerning my own perceptions.
thanks for the rating and comments.
Comment from kingskid
What a very sad poem filled with charging emotions.
How sad it must be for you that you now have to be wthere for her, when she was so distant before.
Your writing is powerful and i hope and pray that writin it down has helped your emotions.
Blessings to you and strength to you for each day.
Love
Norms
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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What a very sad poem filled with charging emotions.
How sad it must be for you that you now have to be wthere for her, when she was so distant before.
Your writing is powerful and i hope and pray that writin it down has helped your emotions.
Blessings to you and strength to you for each day.
Love
Norms
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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It was a great help. it allowed me to look at my own traits.
Thanks for the rating and the comments.
Comment from Fireshadow
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Dallas, this is a very powerful and poignant poem I can relate to since I've cared for almost 10 years for my Dad and Mom. He passed (Alzheimer's) on March 2007 and she's now 90 yrs old and has suffered from vascular dementia during the last 5 years. Seeing your parents deteriorate from the strong, brilliant people they used to be, to feeble, helpless beings is very painful and difficult. It creates angst, frustration and even anger.
I detect deep resentment and anger in your words, which is very understandable. When we're young, we never think the cycle of life will place us in a position of reversing our roles where we become our parents' caretakers. When we were infants and young children they looked after our well being, each according to his or her own means, capabilities, personality and personal baggage. Now it's our time to give back that care to keep them safe, healthy, comfortable and, as much as we can, happy.
Thank you for sharing this great work. Many blessings to you and your mother, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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Dallas, this is a very powerful and poignant poem I can relate to since I've cared for almost 10 years for my Dad and Mom. He passed (Alzheimer's) on March 2007 and she's now 90 yrs old and has suffered from vascular dementia during the last 5 years. Seeing your parents deteriorate from the strong, brilliant people they used to be, to feeble, helpless beings is very painful and difficult. It creates angst, frustration and even anger.
I detect deep resentment and anger in your words, which is very understandable. When we're young, we never think the cycle of life will place us in a position of reversing our roles where we become our parents' caretakers. When we were infants and young children they looked after our well being, each according to his or her own means, capabilities, personality and personal baggage. Now it's our time to give back that care to keep them safe, healthy, comfortable and, as much as we can, happy.
Thank you for sharing this great work. Many blessings to you and your mother, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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When i wrote this i think I was beond the anger and able to just look at it the way it was. Tthe dynamics of the entire situation revealed some hidden truths about myself. It allowed me to recognize that God was giving me an opportunity to forgive the past and attend to her needs. Something she deserved.
thanks for the rating and comments.
Comment from chita
You have good author notes and a good flow with your poem-you are descriptive and write with emotion-alzheimers is a terrible disease and you express yourself very well-I love where you write( Now here I stand, your prodigy-To share with you my humanness) a powerfer line and poem--great job.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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You have good author notes and a good flow with your poem-you are descriptive and write with emotion-alzheimers is a terrible disease and you express yourself very well-I love where you write( Now here I stand, your prodigy-To share with you my humanness) a powerfer line and poem--great job.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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That line was perhaps my key to some inner peace.
thanks for the comments and the rating.
Comment from Jewell McChesney
Very interesting poetry, Dallas. Actually the story behind it, is one of many, I imagine daily as I work among these precious souls every day.
Many have no one who visits. So sad...
Was the paint box metaphorical?
A sad, but good write.
Jewel
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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Very interesting poetry, Dallas. Actually the story behind it, is one of many, I imagine daily as I work among these precious souls every day.
Many have no one who visits. So sad...
Was the paint box metaphorical?
A sad, but good write.
Jewel
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2011
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Yes the paintbox was meetaphorical. Mom has been in the nursing home for eight years. She is almost comotose and recognizes, nor can respond to anyone. Thankfully, my sister and I live close enough that alternate and vistit 6 days a week. I have written a short story about the pain of placing her in the nursing home. It was one of the most traumatic events of both our lives. I will probably publish it here. It is called Trudging The Road To Nothingness. Thanks for the rating and the comments.
Comment from Deejharrington
It is a horrible and life changing disease. It reverses the role of child and parent. It is almost impossible to watch someone you love fade into someone you don't recognize. After going through it myself, the only advice I can give is, to remember her as she was and this person really isn't your mother. Compassion and patience :)
dj
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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It is a horrible and life changing disease. It reverses the role of child and parent. It is almost impossible to watch someone you love fade into someone you don't recognize. After going through it myself, the only advice I can give is, to remember her as she was and this person really isn't your mother. Compassion and patience :)
dj
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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My sister and I have watched for the past eight yeara as she has slipped down level after level. I've written a short piece about the pain of having to place her in a nursing home which I will probably publish here. Sadly, there are no more levels. she hasn't recognized us for two years and rarely opens her eyes. she is nothing but a shell of who she use to be. Her condition has spurned a lot of difficult questions. T
hanks for your comments.
Comment from misscookie
Wow,
this is a very deep poem about a relationship with a child and a mother
Being from the old school we learn from our parents and them taught us. I made a vow the bucked stop with me so my children did not have to lose out on a relationship until the last few years for no reason at all.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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Wow,
this is a very deep poem about a relationship with a child and a mother
Being from the old school we learn from our parents and them taught us. I made a vow the bucked stop with me so my children did not have to lose out on a relationship until the last few years for no reason at all.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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Thank God we can learn from our pain. thanks for the comments.
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Your very welcome.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is so sad, so very sad, but unfortunately it happens far too often. Why doesn't someone tell us that we should mind the shop while we're able, for one day the shop will be independent of us. This has to be irony at its ugliest. Best wishes my friend,
Giddy
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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This is so sad, so very sad, but unfortunately it happens far too often. Why doesn't someone tell us that we should mind the shop while we're able, for one day the shop will be independent of us. This has to be irony at its ugliest. Best wishes my friend,
Giddy
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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thank you so much for your keen observation.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written iwth good form and good flow a great job writing about the strength that your mother possessed that made you feel unneeded. this is sad but a beautiful write
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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this is very well written iwth good form and good flow a great job writing about the strength that your mother possessed that made you feel unneeded. this is sad but a beautiful write
Comment Written 18-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your comments. greatly appreciated.
Comment from Mara del Mar
I worked in a nursing home where almost all suffer from alzheimers. It is depressing to see how they are deteriorating, but we can not stop the progression of the disease. It's painful, really. I'm sorry. Greetings!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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I worked in a nursing home where almost all suffer from alzheimers. It is depressing to see how they are deteriorating, but we can not stop the progression of the disease. It's painful, really. I'm sorry. Greetings!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2011
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thank you. Mom has been in a nursing home for 8 years. Kudos to those of you able to witness this 8 hours a day.