Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "First love"A book of Poetry & Writing
22 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
You keep to the required form alright.
But it somehow did not appeal to me that much.
Had expected more after the lovely picture.
This is why the 4 stars.
Still wishing you all the best for the contest and hope I did not offend you.
   |
You keep to the required form alright.
But it somehow did not appeal to me that much.
Had expected more after the lovely picture.
This is why the 4 stars.
Still wishing you all the best for the contest and hope I did not offend you.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from JuneYvonne
I guess I'm not the first to tell you that this poem does not meet the contest brief. An Essence poem must have two lines of 6 syllables each, and there must be one internal and one end rhyme between the lines, as in:
It's lonely in the sky
If only I could fly....
Your poem has 8 syllables in the first line, and no rhymes at all that I can see.
Just thought I'd tell you, as I doubt it will get any votes as it is.
By the way, I love the picture and the feeling conveyed by your poem.
|
I guess I'm not the first to tell you that this poem does not meet the contest brief. An Essence poem must have two lines of 6 syllables each, and there must be one internal and one end rhyme between the lines, as in:
It's lonely in the sky
If only I could fly....
Your poem has 8 syllables in the first line, and no rhymes at all that I can see.
Just thought I'd tell you, as I doubt it will get any votes as it is.
By the way, I love the picture and the feeling conveyed by your poem.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from manicblue
I'm so sorry to rate this as a three. But your first line has 8, not 6 syllables. Also, you need to rhyme internally and at the end of each line as in the example.
NOTE: "Write an Essence poem. This is a poem of two lines. This style has an internal and ending rhyme on SEPARATE LINES. Each line has 6 syllables."
Please take care and I hope I've caught this in time so you will have a correct entry into the contest. Please take care.
|
I'm so sorry to rate this as a three. But your first line has 8, not 6 syllables. Also, you need to rhyme internally and at the end of each line as in the example.
NOTE: "Write an Essence poem. This is a poem of two lines. This style has an internal and ending rhyme on SEPARATE LINES. Each line has 6 syllables."
Please take care and I hope I've caught this in time so you will have a correct entry into the contest. Please take care.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
Comment from pixiemillie
I read your essence poem and for the life of me I can't seem to find those rhyming words which are essential for this contest entry. Not trying to be critical, just don't want your entry to be excluded because the rules were not followed.
You site the example:
. . .take control of all things. . .
free the soul (rhymes with control) spread your wings (rhymes with things)
Also each line is to have 6 syllables:
The faith of love blooms high this day (8 syllables)
As Birds on wing do hail (6 syllables)
Although your 2 lines are sweet and go well with the photograph you have not followed the rules of the contest.
I'm sorry for the rating but will be happy to re-review for a better 'score' if you are willing to comply with the rules of the 'game'.
|
I read your essence poem and for the life of me I can't seem to find those rhyming words which are essential for this contest entry. Not trying to be critical, just don't want your entry to be excluded because the rules were not followed.
You site the example:
. . .take control of all things. . .
free the soul (rhymes with control) spread your wings (rhymes with things)
Also each line is to have 6 syllables:
The faith of love blooms high this day (8 syllables)
As Birds on wing do hail (6 syllables)
Although your 2 lines are sweet and go well with the photograph you have not followed the rules of the contest.
I'm sorry for the rating but will be happy to re-review for a better 'score' if you are willing to comply with the rules of the 'game'.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from pickthorn
A writing prompt poem that describes the nature of love as the birds attest to from their vantage point on high. Lovely poem with a brilliant message. Good luck in your contest. Pickthorn
|
A writing prompt poem that describes the nature of love as the birds attest to from their vantage point on high. Lovely poem with a brilliant message. Good luck in your contest. Pickthorn
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from DragonSkulls
I'm not sure if anyone has told you or not but this entry isn't quite right for the contest. Each line should have 6 syllables in each. Your first line has 8. Plus there needs to be an internal rhyme and an end rhyme. You have neither.
It gives an example right in the rules;
Take control of all things
Free the soul spread your wings
That's how the format should be. Tell me when these are corrected and I'll up the rating. But as it is it's incorrect. Just letting you know. 2M
|
I'm not sure if anyone has told you or not but this entry isn't quite right for the contest. Each line should have 6 syllables in each. Your first line has 8. Plus there needs to be an internal rhyme and an end rhyme. You have neither.
It gives an example right in the rules;
Take control of all things
Free the soul spread your wings
That's how the format should be. Tell me when these are corrected and I'll up the rating. But as it is it's incorrect. Just letting you know. 2M
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, a great job writing this essence poem, but you didn't follow the rules of the essence poem. look at the example. inner rhyme and outer rhymes. and it's supposed to be six syllables on each line. i hate giving less than five so if you fix it let me know and i will change it to a five.
faith of love really fly
wings of doves carry high
this is an example but you're welcome to use it.
|
this is very well written, mystery writer, a great job writing this essence poem, but you didn't follow the rules of the essence poem. look at the example. inner rhyme and outer rhymes. and it's supposed to be six syllables on each line. i hate giving less than five so if you fix it let me know and i will change it to a five.
faith of love really fly
wings of doves carry high
this is an example but you're welcome to use it.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from catch22
I think the words of the essence poem are lovely, but I think you have more than six syllables in your first line, and it says an essence poem must have 6/syllables per line.
|
I think the words of the essence poem are lovely, but I think you have more than six syllables in your first line, and it says an essence poem must have 6/syllables per line.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from TSPoet
This is beautifully done.
.
The image resembles faith of
the love along with your words
with heartfelt measure.
.
Nicely done
.
TSPoet
|
This is beautifully done.
.
The image resembles faith of
the love along with your words
with heartfelt measure.
.
Nicely done
.
TSPoet
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
Comment from ameyrowitz
I really like this poem, though it appears to me it does not meet the syllables per line constraints of the prompt. Putting that aside, it does work well with excellent imagery.
|
I really like this poem, though it appears to me it does not meet the syllables per line constraints of the prompt. Putting that aside, it does work well with excellent imagery.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2011
