Falling One
A falling blossom affected in flight by the wind.24 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
First of all welcome to FanStory.com. If this is a sample of your writing your readers will be blessed. Nature speaks to us through poetry -- your words capture a snapshot of it. Best wishes with the entry.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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First of all welcome to FanStory.com. If this is a sample of your writing your readers will be blessed. Nature speaks to us through poetry -- your words capture a snapshot of it. Best wishes with the entry.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the 5 star welcome and kind words Jean Lutz. (:))
Comment from Connie C
This is beautiful! In so few words and syllables, it is easy to
imagine a blossom drifting slowly down in the morning breeze.
Welcome to FanStory, my friend. You are off to a great start with
this wonderful little 5-7-5. Connie
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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This is beautiful! In so few words and syllables, it is easy to
imagine a blossom drifting slowly down in the morning breeze.
Welcome to FanStory, my friend. You are off to a great start with
this wonderful little 5-7-5. Connie
Comment Written 03-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2011
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Thank you friend...your comments are so much appreciated.
Comment from Piggies Grandma
I enjoyed reading your poem very much. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I can almost see the blossom floating around on the breeze.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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I enjoyed reading your poem very much. It is cleverly written and very well thought out. I can almost see the blossom floating around on the breeze.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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Thanks for the compliments and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Oh the blossom has been dancing in the morning breeze but now it is gracefully descending. Your poem has good form of 5-7-5 syllables.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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Oh the blossom has been dancing in the morning breeze but now it is gracefully descending. Your poem has good form of 5-7-5 syllables.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2011
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Thank you for the 5 stars WilliamDeen(:).
Comment from smudge
This is a lovely poem. The image of the falling blossoms is the prevailing harbinger of Spring. Well done! Your words paint a picture in three short lines.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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This is a lovely poem. The image of the falling blossoms is the prevailing harbinger of Spring. Well done! Your words paint a picture in three short lines.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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Thank you smudge.
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your welcome
Comment from linsbm
Your syllable count is perfect for the requirement of the contest, 5-7-5. There is coherency in the flow of thoughts to arrive at the desired message. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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Your syllable count is perfect for the requirement of the contest, 5-7-5. There is coherency in the flow of thoughts to arrive at the desired message. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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Appreciate your comments linsbm
Comment from Ekim777
With all due respects your poem can be distinguished by its lack of originality.When you launch into a poem, the strongest ammunition in your arsenal is visual imagery. So surprise us. "A floating blossom" alright we're waiting. Suddenly, midstream it gathers up spirit and energy and it is dancing, with a set purpose no doubt. Yes it descends downwards. Rather let it spiral upwards. Leave us wondering.
- EKim. The element of surprise and the uncanny is the second weapon in your arsenal.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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With all due respects your poem can be distinguished by its lack of originality.When you launch into a poem, the strongest ammunition in your arsenal is visual imagery. So surprise us. "A floating blossom" alright we're waiting. Suddenly, midstream it gathers up spirit and energy and it is dancing, with a set purpose no doubt. Yes it descends downwards. Rather let it spiral upwards. Leave us wondering.
- EKim. The element of surprise and the uncanny is the second weapon in your arsenal.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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Thanks for that, I'll try for better.(:))
Comment from MelissaBickel
This is a great representation of what a 5/7/5 should be. I love the whole image I get from reading this too. It's a soft haiku that gracefully descends.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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This is a great representation of what a 5/7/5 should be. I love the whole image I get from reading this too. It's a soft haiku that gracefully descends.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2011
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Many thanks MelissaBickel.
Comment from donette1914
Beautiful! well written that bring emotions. a true poet that used your words very well with a small poem and that didn't look easy.. very creative. good job!!!
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Beautiful! well written that bring emotions. a true poet that used your words very well with a small poem and that didn't look easy.. very creative. good job!!!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2011
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Thanks for that donette...much appreciated(:))
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I believe that this is a wonderful haiku that describes perfectly the falling of a blossom as well as the format of the haiku and how they should be written. Good luck this one is good. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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I believe that this is a wonderful haiku that describes perfectly the falling of a blossom as well as the format of the haiku and how they should be written. Good luck this one is good. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 26-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2011
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Your comments are so much appreciated...thank you Kiwigirl.(:)