The English Assignment
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Chapter 1 my English class "The author tells a tale how he tried to better him
33 total reviews
Comment from rashi kumar
You explain your story so well.
Hectic job,the addiction for smoking(pot as you say),weeds!
Your experience with Mrs. Stein and Lewis, the joy of helping the patients, I loved that.
Everything is so warm and interesting!
Pleasure to read!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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You explain your story so well.
Hectic job,the addiction for smoking(pot as you say),weeds!
Your experience with Mrs. Stein and Lewis, the joy of helping the patients, I loved that.
Everything is so warm and interesting!
Pleasure to read!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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thanks for the kind review.
Comment from krazykats2011
Well, you have definitely gotten my attention with this one. I will be reading more to see just exactly what that essay is all about. As for the writing itself, I found that there are some punctuational and structural changes that I would make here to make it read better. Your sentences are fragmented in spots. But your rating comes from content, not those details. Thanks for sharing this, as well as continuing chapters.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Well, you have definitely gotten my attention with this one. I will be reading more to see just exactly what that essay is all about. As for the writing itself, I found that there are some punctuational and structural changes that I would make here to make it read better. Your sentences are fragmented in spots. But your rating comes from content, not those details. Thanks for sharing this, as well as continuing chapters.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for the kind review
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi keimosobie,
Interesting opening to the story and certainly persuaded me to look at the next part. Evil Eddy has played with your formatting, removing some line breaks and paragraph breaks.
Otherwise, good work.
Patrick
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Hi keimosobie,
Interesting opening to the story and certainly persuaded me to look at the next part. Evil Eddy has played with your formatting, removing some line breaks and paragraph breaks.
Otherwise, good work.
Patrick
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Herb
The strength of this start is it makes the reader wanting to know more. What could have possibly have rattled the old stick? As for the writing it seems more like a journal than a novel as its all 'tell' and no 'show.' This I think doesn't matter too much here as its a start and the spring board. The tense will have to shift from here onwards to a more immediate and active voice.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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The strength of this start is it makes the reader wanting to know more. What could have possibly have rattled the old stick? As for the writing it seems more like a journal than a novel as its all 'tell' and no 'show.' This I think doesn't matter too much here as its a start and the spring board. The tense will have to shift from here onwards to a more immediate and active voice.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from writerwish
You have a knack for keeping the reader glued to the page. Your explanations are clear and the narrative are believable and organized. Now I have to read the link. See what I mean.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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You have a knack for keeping the reader glued to the page. Your explanations are clear and the narrative are believable and organized. Now I have to read the link. See what I mean.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, keimosobie, you did a great job writing this beginning chapter about why you went back to school and the doors that were unlocked you didn't even know about
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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this is very well written, keimosobie, you did a great job writing this beginning chapter about why you went back to school and the doors that were unlocked you didn't even know about
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from DionysusDeVille
Wow very interesting and it makes you really want to see what happens in the next chapter, the true stories are usually the most compelling ones
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Wow very interesting and it makes you really want to see what happens in the next chapter, the true stories are usually the most compelling ones
Comment Written 05-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2012
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Thank you for eading and reviewing.
Comment from peggles
Very well done for the construction of this piece of work and in re-creating a situation which is unfortunately only to easy to believe happens in real life
I read your story from beginning to end in one go
It is a compelling read
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Very well done for the construction of this piece of work and in re-creating a situation which is unfortunately only to easy to believe happens in real life
I read your story from beginning to end in one go
It is a compelling read
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Thanks again.
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thank you peggles.
Comment from alexisleech
Well, you've really got my attention! This chapter is very well written and held my attention from start to finish. If the teacher didn't blink an eye at your friends paper, it must have some story to have that effect. Maybe it was a story about murdering an over zealous teacher with her corrections. I am about to find out! Alexis x
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Well, you've really got my attention! This chapter is very well written and held my attention from start to finish. If the teacher didn't blink an eye at your friends paper, it must have some story to have that effect. Maybe it was a story about murdering an over zealous teacher with her corrections. I am about to find out! Alexis x
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Thanks for reviewing i hope you enjoyed it.
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thank you for reading and refviewing.
Comment from barkingdog
Wow, your jobs had really difficult supervisors to deal with. Though buying pot for the one's son wasn't the best idea.
It sounds like you needed a start over and going to college was a good choice.
They you ran into the teacher from hell who was even tough on the lady who's family died in the fire.
The next chapter should be interesting ... to see what you wrote for class.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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Wow, your jobs had really difficult supervisors to deal with. Though buying pot for the one's son wasn't the best idea.
It sounds like you needed a start over and going to college was a good choice.
They you ran into the teacher from hell who was even tough on the lady who's family died in the fire.
The next chapter should be interesting ... to see what you wrote for class.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2012
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The next chapter is written if you want to take a look. just click the link at the bottom of the story. thanks for reading and reviewing.
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Check out my chapter 17 Confrontation and Alliance its posted incase your interested. I'll read your next chapter, too.
