Silence isn't golden
Silence is golden - is it really?33 total reviews
Comment from dancerwriter
I found this to be a very expressive short three lines which however does show a truth- silence is not always golden, or even blue, but often it can be white and feel like a shroud, all enveloping.And it can be friendless as well. To be alone is good for a while, as one sorts out their thoughts,but only a while. Peace of mind is attained with silence. The picture is really lovely and moving. Lesley.J
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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I found this to be a very expressive short three lines which however does show a truth- silence is not always golden, or even blue, but often it can be white and feel like a shroud, all enveloping.And it can be friendless as well. To be alone is good for a while, as one sorts out their thoughts,but only a while. Peace of mind is attained with silence. The picture is really lovely and moving. Lesley.J
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review and feedback - Silence can be golden in some ways, but I tried to portray it as a negative thing as well, which is how I usually view it. Thanks, Angel
Comment from Enrique28
Well, it depends. In the context of your poem because of the mood, it is not golden, but it can be. A fine little piece with a poetic sound and a profound meaning. Here silence is indeed deafening blue. Very aptly illustrated!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Well, it depends. In the context of your poem because of the mood, it is not golden, but it can be. A fine little piece with a poetic sound and a profound meaning. Here silence is indeed deafening blue. Very aptly illustrated!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Treischel
Nicely done 5-7-5 poetry. Such dichotomy in expressing deafening silence! The peaceful artwork creates the essence of darkness. And blue. The cleverness of the colors transition is what make this good.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Nicely done 5-7-5 poetry. Such dichotomy in expressing deafening silence! The peaceful artwork creates the essence of darkness. And blue. The cleverness of the colors transition is what make this good.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thanks for your review!
Comment from rheabug
Silence often makes me blue as in a downward mood. I appreciate your great imagery with this poem. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Silence often makes me blue as in a downward mood. I appreciate your great imagery with this poem. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 19-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review and thoughts.
Comment from Jina Sarma
I agree with you. silence always can not be good. it is important to break silence for saving ourselves from exploitation. i see no reason to glorify silence. good poem for contest.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
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I agree with you. silence always can not be good. it is important to break silence for saving ourselves from exploitation. i see no reason to glorify silence. good poem for contest.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review. :) Angel
Comment from megclare
I agree completely. Staying silent often causes grief and increases problems. I think your use of colour symbolism in the poem is very effective and the image of the 'deafening' silence is very striking.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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I agree completely. Staying silent often causes grief and increases problems. I think your use of colour symbolism in the poem is very effective and the image of the 'deafening' silence is very striking.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review, rating, and thoughts.
Comment from Mai Mai
I am always impress by the economy of words and how cleverly they can be used. After reading this piece I immediately thought of an old song by the Four Tops called Just Ask the Lonely. Fantastic work and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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I am always impress by the economy of words and how cleverly they can be used. After reading this piece I immediately thought of an old song by the Four Tops called Just Ask the Lonely. Fantastic work and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 15-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review, rating and thoughts.
Comment from Deniz22
This certainly sets the mood and even captures its essence without causing it. You've done a good job here.
By way of honestly reviewing I offer these thoughts;
I think it only shows one side of the human experiences of sadness; some are triggered we know not why, while others are understandable even when not shared. As when a truly loved one dies;grief is expected. Yet we can be "blue" over many things.
I would suggest to you also that the basis of your comparison might be rethought. Silence is golden usually has to do with being discreet about what we say, especially in tense situations.
So that is not really a good counterpoint to your comparison. These are all only my opinions and if they are helpful to you without harming your beautiful creativity, I will be pleased. Keep writing, you have talent! Dennis
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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This certainly sets the mood and even captures its essence without causing it. You've done a good job here.
By way of honestly reviewing I offer these thoughts;
I think it only shows one side of the human experiences of sadness; some are triggered we know not why, while others are understandable even when not shared. As when a truly loved one dies;grief is expected. Yet we can be "blue" over many things.
I would suggest to you also that the basis of your comparison might be rethought. Silence is golden usually has to do with being discreet about what we say, especially in tense situations.
So that is not really a good counterpoint to your comparison. These are all only my opinions and if they are helpful to you without harming your beautiful creativity, I will be pleased. Keep writing, you have talent! Dennis
Comment Written 15-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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Thank you very much for your honest viewpoint. Any feed forward is welcome, and your thoughts help me. I was aiming to explore and express thought on one side of Silence. Of course there are many good things about it too, and people know of them. But I wanted to show a side of silence that sometimes people don't think about. You're right people can be blue over many things, this is only one of them. I mainly used "blue" as in contrast to "gold" as they both are colors and also can be feelings.
Thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate them.
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
I like your use of rhyme
good pairing of dark and deafening
and I very much like the concept that silence is blue, not golden - you create mood extremely well :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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Your poem is in excellent 5/7/5 form
I like your use of rhyme
good pairing of dark and deafening
and I very much like the concept that silence is blue, not golden - you create mood extremely well :-) Brooke
Comment Written 15-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much for your review - It is my very first poem on Fanstory and I am so glad that now it has now reached "recognized"!
Comment from steevie
I think you have a fantastic spin on what is meant by, silence is golden. I can think of times when its not.
For instance, when a child is being molested and is afraid to speak up, then silence is far from golden. Just one example of my own. There are many others for sure.
Excellent thought also by other definitions mentioned in your author notes. Great mind you have
steve
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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I think you have a fantastic spin on what is meant by, silence is golden. I can think of times when its not.
For instance, when a child is being molested and is afraid to speak up, then silence is far from golden. Just one example of my own. There are many others for sure.
Excellent thought also by other definitions mentioned in your author notes. Great mind you have
steve
Comment Written 10-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thank you for you review and rating, I'm glad you liked my poem.
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I'd like to inform you that I have edited my poem, please take a moment to read it if you can. Thank you.
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I thought your poem was great, as I don't remember suugesting any changes. Perhaps it was others. Whatever the case, it was great both ways
steve
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Yes, I only changes the first line of the poem, because somebody suggested that it was better not to use the word silence twice. So I decided to follow his/her advice. (He gave me 4 stars) Before the first line read: "Silence, dark, it's true, Silence is not golden, no, but deafening...blue", now I've changed it to "Dark, friendless, it's true, Silence is not golden no, but deafening...blue". Which do you prefer?
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actually I do prefer the revised edition.
I'm flattered that you asked my opinion.
take care
I hope he/she upgraded your star rating, as its a fine poem.
steve
