The Jersey Hoard
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Eudeyrn's escape chapter five."A Historical Puzzle
11 total reviews
Comment from JM daSilva
I love adventure and action, so I'll catch some more of your adventure. Kudos to you.
But I have some editing suggestions, if you like them, tell me and I'll continue.
time and time again (time and again, for brevity)
into the middle, (no comma) of a dense thicket
Silent laughter emits for a grimacing face (strange sentence, issues from a grimacing face?)
May the Gods ( in the plural gods is usually lowercase)
in charge of a now well under strength troop (strange sentence)
reported Tiberious (Tiberius) (,)his second in command
Not one of them have (has) surrendered.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2012
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I love adventure and action, so I'll catch some more of your adventure. Kudos to you.
But I have some editing suggestions, if you like them, tell me and I'll continue.
time and time again (time and again, for brevity)
into the middle, (no comma) of a dense thicket
Silent laughter emits for a grimacing face (strange sentence, issues from a grimacing face?)
May the Gods ( in the plural gods is usually lowercase)
in charge of a now well under strength troop (strange sentence)
reported Tiberious (Tiberius) (,)his second in command
Not one of them have (has) surrendered.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2012
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Thank you JM, for your helpful review. Always appreciated. And I like them. I have adjusted each 'strange' sentence... Kind regards Mel.
