Reviews from

Eating Mommy's Sandwich

Sung to the tune: I've been workin on the railroad

32 total reviews 
Comment from Titanx9
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is so cute! The conversations are entertaining and though a lot is going on, the distinction is there as to who is talking. The poem summarizes the activity going on in the restaurant. Excellent job with this one.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
    Thanks Titan, I appreciate your time and talent. Jojhn
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Very cute! Love the song at the end ... I did sing along as I read!

Typo:

then we're talkin' (not than we're talkin')

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
    I hope you carry a better tune them me!!!
    Thank you for your time and talent. I made note of the correction needed and will take care of that.
    Many thanks, John
Comment from Jim McLean
Excellent
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Loved it, you can feel the love. A very happy girl in a very happy family. You could believe that Aiden was actually thinking these things. Picture, writings and song a perfect package presented well. I wish you and your family all the best for the future

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Thank you Jim for reading my story and sharing the comments and well wishes. It is all appreciated ! John
Comment from Dollie Mason
Excellent
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This shows you are a kid at heart, please don't lose that! Very well written. Flowed nice and easy and fun to read. A cute little song with it. Be fun to read this to my little grandson. Thanks for the smile you brought to my face. Looking to more from you. Have a great day.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Wow, thank you Dollie for the great words of encouragement. That's what is great about this site, encouragement, well wishes, positive feedback to everything put down on paper. Thank you once again.,,, John
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Yes I did enjoy it, it was almost the same thing my monster son did to me, and could I get it back? Not without someone calling the child protection agency!! No such thing and mummy protection agencies! I had to laugh and I was singing away to your so funny words! I often remind my son what he did, when his son does what I think is funny!! Brilliant story and such a funny read. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Thank you Sandra for reading my interpretation of the picture and song and for sharing some of your similar experiences. That's one of the rewarding aspects of FS. The photo is of my granddaughter about three weeks ago. She gives me inspiration to write! Peace, John
Comment from EMB
Excellent
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LOL This seems like the actual picture of when it happened, too. Is it? This is sooo funny, and as a parent of three, I can definitely picture this.

Great story, and good job narrating for the adorable one. :)

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Yes it's a real photo from about three-four weeks ago. That adorable one is my granddaughter, Aiden. Edward, thank you for reading and sharing thoughts and comments, John
Comment from Norbanus
Excellent
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For sure we know that as kids go
This one's about the cutest
Riding tall around the mall
That's winning every contest

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Thank you Norbanus for your time in reading and commenting. John
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You need an extra line space to show changed of POV. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Thanks for reading and sharing that bit of info, was not aware. Learn something everyday, now I just have to remember.
    John
reply by c_lucas on 04-Jan-2013
    You're welcome.
Comment from Jina Sarma
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

well done you have written very interesting story. i appreciate beginning and ending of the story. you have given a special touch to a simple idea, i have a lot of fun while reading it.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Thank you Jina so much for the six stars... I never expected it. But most of all thank you for your time spent reading and commenting on my story. My granddaughter is such an inspiration ! John
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great art work and lyrics written.

I guess young children love eating Big Mack's

Sometimes we eat them but not too much.

Home made food to be served and yummy ice cream to eat.

"Fruit loops" and carrot sticks is a reasonable Lunch."

Honey tree

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2013
    Actually my son graduated culinary school and is a full time chef!! He cooks fresh, all her meals. She never had a Big Mac and probably never will they are so disgusting. You missed the points of the story in that she tells the story and takes mommy's sandwich, which generated the song. I see you are not from the States and may be unfamiliar with the tune, I've Been Working on the Railroad. Anyway, thank you for reading and sharing, I appreciate it. John