Comment from steevie

Excellent

Your story tells a tale of many a modern day girl/women. Its so true how young girls use cunning and deceit to attain their goals. Its a hard road for most who travel this road and many, like you say in the poem, wreck, whether physically or otherwise.

well done, Dossie.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013

Thanks, my friend, Steevie! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your encouraging comments and generous rating!

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

This is well written my friend yes you do find people like this try everything to be accepted and very spoilt well done my friend I enjoyed regards Jill

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013

Thanks, Jill! I appreciate your comments and rating!

Comment from Perp Ihebom

Excellent

This is a very interesting story that plays out in many settings, especially the school environment. Such people need help because they live in falsehood and are propelled by a false air of importance. cheers

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013

Thanks, Perp Iheborn! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your insightful comments and generous rating!

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

Her parent gave her tender
Her parent[s] gave her tender

Last line: regal does not rhyme with eagles / should be eagle...
suggest:
Why mingle with turkeys when she could soar like an eagle?

This was a fun read. I'm looking forward to reading more.
CG

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013

Thanks, Curly Girly! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your helpful comments and generous rating!

Comment from sunnilicious

Excellent

I think we all know someone like that... Okay, maybe a dozen. You thought this through and wrote is nicely. It's styled like a quatrains poem. Well done. Excellent work. Keep it up.


glitter-graphics.com

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013

Thanks, Sunni! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your encouraging comments and generous rating!

Comment from turtledove

Excellent

Titanx9,
Reminds me of our high school days. I tried to stay away from the Leslie Anns! Somehow I was the protector/solved everyone's problems. Ugh...Love your depiction and bringing to light a real problem still existing! Kudos to you,

turtledove

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013

Thanks so much for your encouraging comments and for reading my new experience here on FanStory.

reply by turtledove on 10-Apr-2013

You're Welcome! td:)

Comment from Child of the King

Excellent

Now this is different and I really like the story going on here. I like where you left it and it leaves me wondering what will be next. There were a couple of words that did not rhyme with each other--

assets/happiness exploit/exalts

Peace

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013

Thanks so much for your encouraging comments and for reading my new experience here on FanStory.

Comment from Claire VanDyke

Excellent

I like how you hit straight to the meanness of this girl. But I feel there is a lot more to her which I to wait to read. I like the way you do show that there is a sensitive part to her and that things can effect the toughest and the meanest. Would love to know what her back story is. I like this. Well done

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013

Thanks so much for your encouraging comments and for reading my new experience here on FanStory.