Light of my Life
A free verse poem about love and admiration for someone spec16 total reviews
Comment from pRINCEssStar
Hi there poet, thanks for sharing this poem. I see some good starts here but from the cliche beginning it gets redundant with simple and overused language.
You are the light of my life-google that and you will see too many other examples, be original.
You are in my heart, the ending again cliche.
Good start and keep trying.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
   |
Hi there poet, thanks for sharing this poem. I see some good starts here but from the cliche beginning it gets redundant with simple and overused language.
You are the light of my life-google that and you will see too many other examples, be original.
You are in my heart, the ending again cliche.
Good start and keep trying.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
-
Thank you for your review. Many readers have enjoyed reading my poem "Light of my Life" even though it is cliché as you say. I have had this poem reviewed by top poets on this site and they have given me excellent reviews. You did not offer any helpful advice in your review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Straight and simple, hearty and melodious, colourful and lovely this free verse with cadences, so clearly exalts love and appreciates someone special, like the stand of light of life, an ode nicely composed. 07/830
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
|
Straight and simple, hearty and melodious, colourful and lovely this free verse with cadences, so clearly exalts love and appreciates someone special, like the stand of light of life, an ode nicely composed. 07/830
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
-
Thank you very much for your kind review!!
Nichola
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in light of my life
and in subsequent steps
good consonance of L sounds in soul light glows
good assonance of long I sounds in lighting my night
such lovely sensual appeal in the drinking quietness stanza
a beautifully romantic and passionate poem :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
|
good alliteration in light of my life
and in subsequent steps
good consonance of L sounds in soul light glows
good assonance of long I sounds in lighting my night
such lovely sensual appeal in the drinking quietness stanza
a beautifully romantic and passionate poem :-) Brooke
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
-
Brooke,
Thank you for your detailed review!! I appreciate it very much.
Nichola
Comment from SteveY
Wow this one was certainly romantic wasn't it? Holy smoke let me go and take a cold shower! Great job with this one my friend. Keep them coming!
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
|
Wow this one was certainly romantic wasn't it? Holy smoke let me go and take a cold shower! Great job with this one my friend. Keep them coming!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
-
lol, thank you for your honest and kind comments!!!
Nichola
Comment from cinderbella
I absolutely loved this, it is a very beautiful love poem. I'm not quite sure I liked the two lines which mention thoughtlessness and misunderstanding, and please know that is my personal opinion only, I am no expert. But for me it brought two negative words into a poem that was otherwise all positiveness and beauty. But I DID love it. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
|
I absolutely loved this, it is a very beautiful love poem. I'm not quite sure I liked the two lines which mention thoughtlessness and misunderstanding, and please know that is my personal opinion only, I am no expert. But for me it brought two negative words into a poem that was otherwise all positiveness and beauty. But I DID love it. :) Sandra
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
-
I shall think about those two lines. I included them because sometimes beauty can be spoiled by the thoughtlessness of others, but perhaps I should leave them out if it makes an otherwise beautiful poem, negative. I certainly did not want to have any sort of negative impact. Thanks for your honesty!! I really do appreciate it!!!
Take care,
Nichola
Comment from Shaun Hess
This is a very beautiful, touching poem! I have never been this I intimate with someone, but I dream about it and this is a really great release poem to help someone daydream lol however, I feel this is more aimed toward nature? Am I right? Either way, I like it a lot. I like the line where it mentions "thoughtlessness misunderstanding from restless guests". Most people fall into this category of people who aren't truly thankful for their existence and ability to live on such a beautiful planet. Very nice write and I love the personification you give nature, all very great! :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
|
This is a very beautiful, touching poem! I have never been this I intimate with someone, but I dream about it and this is a really great release poem to help someone daydream lol however, I feel this is more aimed toward nature? Am I right? Either way, I like it a lot. I like the line where it mentions "thoughtlessness misunderstanding from restless guests". Most people fall into this category of people who aren't truly thankful for their existence and ability to live on such a beautiful planet. Very nice write and I love the personification you give nature, all very great! :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2013
-
Yes it definitely has a nature theme, but also you understood about the intimacy, so I am glad that I was able to communicate that!! Thank you for your wonderful review of my poem!
Take care,
Nichola
