Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Juliet"A collection of poems on these themes
104 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Superbly crafted poem! Truly worth that Seal of Quality.
Echoes of Poe but I also got into a rhythm of Banjo Paterson's poetry such as Clancy of the Overflow... e.g. ''and an answer came directed in a writing unexpected'' with your abundant use of internal rhyming.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Superbly crafted poem! Truly worth that Seal of Quality.
Echoes of Poe but I also got into a rhythm of Banjo Paterson's poetry such as Clancy of the Overflow... e.g. ''and an answer came directed in a writing unexpected'' with your abundant use of internal rhyming.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2023
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Good thing we don't have to write with 'a thumbnail dipped in tar!"
I like Banjo and also Robert Service who does the same trick with internal rhyme in 'The Cremation of Sam Magee..'
The Seal was for the entire book which now languishes on Amazon!
Steve
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! I can see why this was awarded a Seal of Quality! I recognized Poe's Raven immediately as I started to read. And not only did you leave us with just an ominous feeling like Poe's poem did, you managed to tell an entire story! Congratulations!!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Wow! I can see why this was awarded a Seal of Quality! I recognized Poe's Raven immediately as I started to read. And not only did you leave us with just an ominous feeling like Poe's poem did, you managed to tell an entire story! Congratulations!!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
The Seal was awarded for the whole book, which languished on Amazon, but which you can read for free here on FS
Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
This is wonderful. My six grade teacher had us memorize "The Raven" and pass it off in class so I recognized the meter right off. You've done an outstanding job with the meter and the story. I'm so glad you decided to re-post this gem. It was pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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This is wonderful. My six grade teacher had us memorize "The Raven" and pass it off in class so I recognized the meter right off. You've done an outstanding job with the meter and the story. I'm so glad you decided to re-post this gem. It was pleasure to read.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Thank you. The Raven is a great poem and not too hard to memorise.
Glad you enjoyed my rip-off version.
Steve
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LOL. It seemed really long to a sixth grader
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An unusual write with mixed metre and mixed syllable count and I love the internal rhyming and the well chosen words that give this poem the edge. Did he murder Juliet? Not sure, but he will soon be joining her, a fine poem Steve, love Dolly x x. x
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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An unusual write with mixed metre and mixed syllable count and I love the internal rhyming and the well chosen words that give this poem the edge. Did he murder Juliet? Not sure, but he will soon be joining her, a fine poem Steve, love Dolly x x. x
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Dolly.
Yes, I like to leave my poems with an open ending - should we detest him or sympathise?
Steve
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh Steve, you deserve a 6* here but I'm so sorry that I've none left. Your verse is so fluent with its rhythm, rhyming and internal rhyming that it practically reads itself. I thought at the start it was going to be humorous so as the story evolved the contrasting impression became the more effective and shocking. An exceptional poem! Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Oh Steve, you deserve a 6* here but I'm so sorry that I've none left. Your verse is so fluent with its rhythm, rhyming and internal rhyming that it practically reads itself. I thought at the start it was going to be humorous so as the story evolved the contrasting impression became the more effective and shocking. An exceptional poem! Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Debbie, thanks for the kind words and the sixth star - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from Bill Schott
Well, Steve, this is just as creative nine years later as I'm sure it was touted then. I haven't thought of Brooke in a while. Nice to see your work again. ......
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Well, Steve, this is just as creative nine years later as I'm sure it was touted then. I haven't thought of Brooke in a while. Nice to see your work again. ......
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2023
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Thanks, Bill.
I don't think Brooke will ever be forgotten here - she was such a standout.
Steve
Comment from Jenifer Bellott
Whoa... That was fantastic! From the Edgar-Allan-Poe-like meter and rhyme of "The Raven" to the twist at the end, this poem enthralled me. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your works.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Whoa... That was fantastic! From the Edgar-Allan-Poe-like meter and rhyme of "The Raven" to the twist at the end, this poem enthralled me. Well done! I look forward to reading more of your works.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Thanks, Jen.
That was a bit of a blast from the past - I am curious as to how you dug this poem up out of the FS vaults! This is one piece that I remember well - I had high hopes for it in the contest, but it ended up in second place behind another superb piece written by member Adewpearl who was considered our top writer at the time. Sadly she has now passed away, but all the old-timers here remember her well.
The other reason for remembering is the difficulty of imitating Poe's distinct style. I ended up with an immense appreciation of the skill it took to pen The Raven!
Glad you enjoyed and thanks again for the enthusiastic response and the six stars!
Steve
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I was browsing the standout writing section, and it populated there. I'm glad I stumbled upon it. My condolences for the loss of Adewpearl. I will have to go check out her writing as well. You're quite welcome. Have a great day!
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
This is a great poem, filled with humor, that helps paint a vivid picture. Nice Job. Keep Writing. And don't forget to stop by to talk. For, there is always something be on deck. Stay Connected
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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This is a great poem, filled with humor, that helps paint a vivid picture. Nice Job. Keep Writing. And don't forget to stop by to talk. For, there is always something be on deck. Stay Connected
Comment Written 23-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Thank you. I will get back to looking at your work soon, I promise!
In the meantime you've confused me a little by digging up this very old piece from my portfolio and then finding humour in it!
Did you recognize the form? i was trying to imitate the way Poe put his Raven poem together. I remember having new-found respect for him after trying this myself!
Steve
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No problem. And if you would like to know more about what I do, you catch me at? www . reverbnation . com/titanblack222
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Wow, utterly astounding but you must know that. This reminds me so much of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, it is such a difficult rhyme to pull of yet you have done it in spades this is superb and reminiscent of my favourite poem, well done, superb! meia x
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Wow, utterly astounding but you must know that. This reminds me so much of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, it is such a difficult rhyme to pull of yet you have done it in spades this is superb and reminiscent of my favourite poem, well done, superb! meia x
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Meia
I remember being disappointed at only placing second in the contest with this. And walking away with a profound respect for Poe's genius! I did enjoy the challenge, but I'm not too sure I would tackle it again.
Steve
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You did an absolutely amazing job, this was a superb poem wirthy of Poe at it's best. Did you some second to Dean? Just guessing as he is big on Poe...I cannot even begin to think of being able to stick to that rhyme scheme, I think Dean would agree it was a winner, such a perfect write.meia :)
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No, the contest wasn't anything to do with Poe, or even with horror, necessarily - it just had to be inspired by the picture.
The winner was the much-loved Adewpearl who has since had to retire from the site due to health issues. She was for a number of years Queen of poetry here - prolific and consistently excellent across all genres and forms. if I ever managed to beat her in a contest, I knew for sure I'd done a pretty darn good job!
I think her portfolio is still open if you feel like a peek. Just checked - you have to actually search for her name, since she's off the active member list now. Anyway, here's a link to her poem that beat mine. As usual, i think mine should have won!
http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=638263
Comment from Ira White
Romeo and Juliet take on Halloween. The cadence in this poem reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe and his Raven. Did the young man take his new Love's life? I reread it and cannot be sure. In any case, I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Romeo and Juliet take on Halloween. The cadence in this poem reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe and his Raven. Did the young man take his new Love's life? I reread it and cannot be sure. In any case, I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Thanks, Ira.
Yes, I wrote this some time ago and deliberately set out to emulate the rhyme scheme and stanza structure of 'The Raven.' Didn't take me long to realise what a genius Poe was!
Ending deliberately a bit ambiguous too - was he guilty or not - who can say?
Steve
