The Trining
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "HIS TURN TO HEAL"A man must discover his identity and destiny.
38 total reviews
Comment from LovnPeace
Interesting story and I didn't find any errors. I always dislike coming into a story in the middle. This is a good story in itself even though it is incomplete for now. Blessings. Barbara
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Interesting story and I didn't find any errors. I always dislike coming into a story in the middle. This is a good story in itself even though it is incomplete for now. Blessings. Barbara
Comment Written 14-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your time. Did you read the summary of the previous chapter? And, if you'd gone to that chapter you'd find a preview of the first. That's about the best we can do. But, thanks again.
Comment from Ramona Hughes
This is an action packed scene. The urgency for a fire and the location makes for a rather tense situation. I love your story telling style! The reader is immediately immersed. This work makes me want to read the whole book! I will have to check it out.
I found no typos or other problems with this piece. Well written and exciting!
Ramona Hughes
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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This is an action packed scene. The urgency for a fire and the location makes for a rather tense situation. I love your story telling style! The reader is immediately immersed. This work makes me want to read the whole book! I will have to check it out.
I found no typos or other problems with this piece. Well written and exciting!
Ramona Hughes
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2014
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You can't check it out. It's not in the library yet. LOL, just a bit of 11 o'clock humor. Anyway, thanks for reading it. Hope you decide to follow the rest of it. By reading the summary at the beginning of chapter two you should have a pretty good knowledge of what happened all the way through. Thanks again!
Comment from emrpoems
Story moves at a steady pace and keeps the reader hooked .
your descriptions are excellent and brings the characters to fife and also created vivid imagery.
Will be looking forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Story moves at a steady pace and keeps the reader hooked .
your descriptions are excellent and brings the characters to fife and also created vivid imagery.
Will be looking forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your positive comments and enthusiasm. Please come back for more.
Comment from royowen
I was held captive by this well compiled fictional chapter. If found it compelling reading, the narrative flows with excellently penned wording, which connects the writing in a way that holds the attention! This was a first visit for me but I found it most absorbing! Good write! Blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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I was held captive by this well compiled fictional chapter. If found it compelling reading, the narrative flows with excellently penned wording, which connects the writing in a way that holds the attention! This was a first visit for me but I found it most absorbing! Good write! Blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thank you Roy. I hope it won't be your last reading. Got some real adventures coming up. Thanks again.
Jay
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Jay. I love the turn-around of events that make your protagonist in a position to return the earlier healing by Axtilla. Your descriptions are so real! You have a great ability to bring the reader into the novel's milieu -- that's a skill I admire. I'm anxious to read the next chapter, my friend. So well done!
:0) Bev
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Hi, Jay. I love the turn-around of events that make your protagonist in a position to return the earlier healing by Axtilla. Your descriptions are so real! You have a great ability to bring the reader into the novel's milieu -- that's a skill I admire. I'm anxious to read the next chapter, my friend. So well done!
:0) Bev
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Bev, thank you so much, Bev! I always look forward to reading your comments.
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I'm glad if I could encourage/support you, Jay. You're very welcome :0)
Comment from Chrisfiore
Greetings Jay Squires,
This third chapter moves at a steady pace and does not get bogged down, which I like. When there is action there should not be an array of details. Two things I noticed, but small details really.
Axtilla moaned somewhere to my right(.) I felt so helpless.
I placed two fingers against the cool(,) moist flesh.
Like I said, small details... but you asked for it. I am by no means an expert, but if I noticed them, others might as well. ;)
I look forward to reading chapter 4. Chrisfiore
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Greetings Jay Squires,
This third chapter moves at a steady pace and does not get bogged down, which I like. When there is action there should not be an array of details. Two things I noticed, but small details really.
Axtilla moaned somewhere to my right(.) I felt so helpless.
I placed two fingers against the cool(,) moist flesh.
Like I said, small details... but you asked for it. I am by no means an expert, but if I noticed them, others might as well. ;)
I look forward to reading chapter 4. Chrisfiore
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Yeah, Chris, I must've made a lot of those little mistakes, but they add up to a bad read if not corrected. I thank you for your eagle-eye. That missing period, especially, was a biggy. Made the correction (I'm typing this in real-time.) I couldn't find the third one, and then I realized it was a "winky happyface". LOL, thanks, my good friend.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a riveting tale of adventure, with great descriptions.
It's such a pleasure to read work so well presented.
You draw the reader in and grab their attention
throughout.
I found the introduction helpful, putting me in the picture, so to speak.
I'll need to visit again to find out just what happens next. And if you will be naming the nameless one, who attempts to take care of the snake bite. I hope she recovers.
Straddling the tinder-pile , (close that gap)
All in all, most impressive, Jay.
Margaret
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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This is a riveting tale of adventure, with great descriptions.
It's such a pleasure to read work so well presented.
You draw the reader in and grab their attention
throughout.
I found the introduction helpful, putting me in the picture, so to speak.
I'll need to visit again to find out just what happens next. And if you will be naming the nameless one, who attempts to take care of the snake bite. I hope she recovers.
Straddling the tinder-pile , (close that gap)
All in all, most impressive, Jay.
Margaret
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Thanks so much, Margaret for stopping by and reading. Took care of the spacing problem. I'm thankful you were reading so closely. Seriously. Hope you come back to visit.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh, I did so want this to go on. This is the first chapter that I have read but your introduction made it possible for me to join in here. I enjoyed this and to me it was well-written. I would like to read more when you post the next chapter because it's very engaging, Giddy
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Oh, I did so want this to go on. This is the first chapter that I have read but your introduction made it possible for me to join in here. I enjoyed this and to me it was well-written. I would like to read more when you post the next chapter because it's very engaging, Giddy
Comment Written 13-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2014
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Here it is 10:45 in california and your review will help me sleep tonight. Thank you so much. If you have the time, and don't desperately need the pumps or member dollars, you might want to read cha 1 & 2 anyway. Just for a hoot! Thanks SO much!
Comment from GWHARGIS
I like how the nameless protagonist feels so useless as he tries to figure out how to save her. He certainly wasn't a boy scout or a volunteer firefighter. I am wondering if this is set in the future or is this a middle earth scenario. I like the words that seem to set her off. Why did she shudder when he mentioned ocean in the previous chapter. Why and how did she suddenly seem to heal herself? You have built up a whole bunch of questions that keep growing and edging the reader on. Great imagery.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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I like how the nameless protagonist feels so useless as he tries to figure out how to save her. He certainly wasn't a boy scout or a volunteer firefighter. I am wondering if this is set in the future or is this a middle earth scenario. I like the words that seem to set her off. Why did she shudder when he mentioned ocean in the previous chapter. Why and how did she suddenly seem to heal herself? You have built up a whole bunch of questions that keep growing and edging the reader on. Great imagery.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thanks for reading this, Gretchen. You were the first to bring up the shuddering over the mention of the ocean. I can't tell you, of course, but when you find out you can say you were the first one to mention it.
Comment from Lothlorien
The story is really interesting and engaging. It is really well written, and even though I haven't read the previous chapters I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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The story is really interesting and engaging. It is really well written, and even though I haven't read the previous chapters I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
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Thanks for reading, Lothlorien. Come back and visit again. The virtual coffee is virtually always on!