The Trining
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "KLASCO'S LETTER"A man must discover his identity and destiny.
16 total reviews
Comment from Tina McKala
oh my, so the visions were true, and now i'm afraid axtilla is now imprisoned by Glnot. :/ but hopefully she's not and she and doctrex will meet soon. but i wouldn't place my bets on this option. lol
again very good writing. so sorry for no suggestions, but I'm truly enjoying the story and I noticed no odd places that would throw me off the reading flow. very good job!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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oh my, so the visions were true, and now i'm afraid axtilla is now imprisoned by Glnot. :/ but hopefully she's not and she and doctrex will meet soon. but i wouldn't place my bets on this option. lol
again very good writing. so sorry for no suggestions, but I'm truly enjoying the story and I noticed no odd places that would throw me off the reading flow. very good job!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Tina. Make sure you read the last chapter of this book one. I'm working on it and I hope it's gonna be a dandy!
Comment from krprice
I stood, strode across the room.. . Show filled with foreboding, show fear.
His stomach knotted or sweat poured down his face. His heartbeat galloped like a herd of horses.
Try to avoid heard, saw, smelled, felt.
Run this through a grammar checker.
Delete unnecessary 'that's.
I knew I. . . delete I knew.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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I stood, strode across the room.. . Show filled with foreboding, show fear.
His stomach knotted or sweat poured down his face. His heartbeat galloped like a herd of horses.
Try to avoid heard, saw, smelled, felt.
Run this through a grammar checker.
Delete unnecessary 'that's.
I knew I. . . delete I knew.
Excellent chapter.
Karlene
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hmmm. I knew I ... I'll check that out. I appreciate your diligence, Karlene.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This story has progressed into an amazing strength of its own. The more I read the stronger the characters seem to become. I very much like the way you arrange the events to build up towards the end, but always leave an opening which gives me a strong desire for the next chapter, Giddy
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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This story has progressed into an amazing strength of its own. The more I read the stronger the characters seem to become. I very much like the way you arrange the events to build up towards the end, but always leave an opening which gives me a strong desire for the next chapter, Giddy
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Giddy. I have to say I'm pleased at its progress. The next chapter, though, ends the first book and I have a hunch it will be controversial in the way it's wrapped up. We'll see.
Comment from innerworlds
It is difficult to dive right into a chapter when you haven't read any of the chapters preceding it in the book. The description of characters at the bottom was a great help with this, but regardless, this is so well written that I got pulled into the story right away. You have also written believable personalities into the characters, which is a rare skill. I also liked being taken back and forth between the writer and the reader, which helped relieve, then heighten the intrigue of the story. Very well written. I will look forward to more chapters! Thanks!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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It is difficult to dive right into a chapter when you haven't read any of the chapters preceding it in the book. The description of characters at the bottom was a great help with this, but regardless, this is so well written that I got pulled into the story right away. You have also written believable personalities into the characters, which is a rare skill. I also liked being taken back and forth between the writer and the reader, which helped relieve, then heighten the intrigue of the story. Very well written. I will look forward to more chapters! Thanks!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thanks, innerworlds, for taking a chance on something you haven't any background in. I'm appreciative of your close reading.
Comment from c_lucas
It would appear that the final battle is at hand. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very exciting read.
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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It would appear that the final battle is at hand. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very exciting read.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Well, not the final battle (so you may come down hard on Part B), but it will be the end of book I, with two more to go.
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Keep the printing press rolling. Good job, Jay.
Comment from poetbear
Great characters and story.
It is creative,unique and original.
Reads well and makes sense.
Well crafted and conceived.
Out of the box thinking and writing!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Great characters and story.
It is creative,unique and original.
Reads well and makes sense.
Well crafted and conceived.
Out of the box thinking and writing!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Maddy. I'm glad you enjoyed it.