Comment from Liandra

Excellent

You have tied this chapter together extremely well, with memories of the first meeting with Axtilla, and a brief history of events.

His challenge, so it seems, is to master his strong need for Axtilla, and focus on retaining his power as the General.

I am looking forward to Book two.

As always a very good read,

:) Liandra

I would have given a 6 star, unfortunately they're gone.

You deserve six anyway!

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014

Liandra, I am just so privileged to have you being such a loyal reviewer and friend. I'm happy you found the last chapter of Book I satisfying. I was so worried about it that I postponed its posting for several weeks working to tie loose ends up. And, I'll take a virtual 6 from you any day. Thank you again.

reply by Liandra on 12-Jul-2014

You're so very welcome, my friend. I can see the work you put into your story with all the twists and turns, and the result is always worth the effort you put in. I reads beautifully and smoothly.

Hugs,
Liandra

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Wow! Very intense chapter.

Is there hope for these two? Will they ever be together? What does the future hold for them?

You've put an enormous amount of literary energy into this write, I think.

I'll be back!

Have a wonderful weekend, Jay.

Sonali :)

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2014

I will agree about the energy. The jury is out about "literary". Thank you for your confidence in me. I'm hoping book 1 ended with enough questions answered that there's a sense of completion. That has been my fear. I envisioned a TV "end of season" situation, but I realize it's a book and there has to be enough for a brand new reader to book 2 to understand without having to go back to book 1 (Though I'm hoping he/she'll want to!) You have been a loyal follower. I am so blessed.

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

This is wonderful and I enjoyed it. I felt very strongly the sense of the hero and heroine in this chapter, and then you have the overriding spiritual contact between them, which gives it a whole other dimension. The emotional responses are very strong and add to the drama and I like that, Giddy

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014

I appreciate your commentary, Giddy. I've been worried about this chapter since some might think it doesn't end the book with the proper resolution. Thank you for your input.

Comment from poetbear

Excellent

The plot thickens.
The writing is stellar along with the characters.
You have weaved an intelligent and interesting write.
Great work.
Reads well and excites the reader with more.
Terrific work!!

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014

This was the end of Book I, Maddy, so the plot can't really thicken any more. Although, book II will pick up where this left off and go into an entirely different direction.

By the way, if you have a chance, take a look at my one act play under books here (or my portfolio). It's long, but you seemed to think I had a talent for scripts. To make it worth your while before it drops to 2 cents, you ought to do it soon.

Comment from Christopher Lones

Excellent

Good chapter. Congratulations on finishing your book. Hopefully you can make some money off of it. I haven't read the other chapters yet so I don't know how good the rest of it is but it's pretty good. Well, I might have reviewed a chapter or 2 before but I don't remember specifically. Lots of reading and reviewing. From what I could tell from this chapter though the rest of the book could have been good.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014

Thank you, Christopher. Hope you get into the beginning of Book II. Thanks for your review of this.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

It would seem as if General Doctrex is the pawn of those who would like to control him. This is very well written with a smooth flow fo words, making for a good read.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014

Thanks Charlie for hanging in to the end of this Book (I). Hope you stay with book II.

reply by c_lucas on 11-Jul-2014

You're welcome, Jay. Charlie

Comment from dreamin'

Exceptional

Hi Jay,
You got my last six. Well done! I hadn't realized how much I've been missing this until I saw the message alert. there was only one item of nitpick I noticed. Other than that, this was stellar writing.

"...Klea had been a handful that night; and, we departed with the family still sleeping." (not sure you need a semi-colon after night. A comma would do fine, and then you can delete the one after 'and')

"... afraid... the opiate of this peace would vaporize and there would be nothing to replace it but the confused dilemma..." I love this!

And this! "Your descent down the wall should have been your proof of that. That was your reintroduction to sanity."

Thanks for a great reason to take an unscheduled break from work.

Debbie

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014

Debbie, here I am sneaking around my boss (I came out of retirement to help an insurance agent friend) to answer the reviews, and in this case to thank you as effusively as this will allow for the 6 star rating. You are wonderful! Thanks for questioning the semicolon. I'll look closely at that. That was kind of a dense paragraph with several thoughts going in different directions and I was trying to avoid full stops, but a comma might do fine.