Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Ine - This is a rather sad but very thoughtful piece of free verse. We all grow old and hope that those we love will still love us just the same. A tender, sweet poem. Kind regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine

Comment from Chocolate Chip

Excellent

What an interesting way to describe "getting older". If we are fortunate enough to have a significant other to live out our days with, there will come a time in which our senses will not suffice in keeping up with the one we love. Hopefully, we've chosen a person understanding our plight & will make the difficult transition a bit easier. Nicely written! ;) CC

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This poem is a delicate look at someone discovering what he misses about his lost mate and making a comparison of sorts to water and our will to go on. I feel as though a few of the pronouns ought to be changed. If WHO (the first word) were HE, and if ITS (in line six) were OUR, it would be more easily understood. Happy days.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine. Thanks for the tip.

Comment from Dutchie

Excellent

Aging is a process. You expressed it so well.
The shiny hair and eyes are reducing. We can live with that..
The problems come when we're getting immobile and our mental health fails. Indeed, growing old, each on his own..
Well done!!! Fia

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Ine, yes I see that in older people that their hair doesn't have the shine it once did. That also happens when someone's health is bad.
teresa

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Oh, these words ring so true. Wonderful thoughts in this. You might make some small changes for clarity. In first stanza, third line, try something like "the shine of her hair or see any more how small." In second stanza, try, "old, each on our own." You're talking about people, not an object. We can only age in our own way--excellent observation. Last stanza is beautiful. judi

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely weekend , Ine

reply by judiverse on 26-Jul-2014

You're very welcome. Hope your health continues to improve. judi

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hey Robina, a beautifully deep and emotional piece fo work about the aging process, But I strongly agree that we can only grow old on our own, the last stanza is inspirational my friend.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

reply by Eric1 on 22-Jul-2014

You are so welcome Ine

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

excellent use of enjambment to keep thoughts flowing from line to line
each on its own - its doesn't sound right as a pronoun to refer back to people
a most poignant look at the effects of aging on each and every one of us
Brooke

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from bkbehera

Excellent

Aging is a process when the body moves towards entropy , and as a result we lose our sensation ---- "Who suddenly realises that he does not
smell her coat anymore, the shine
of her hair not sees anymore, how small
her hands, hesitant her mouth. ---"

It is a nice piece of work with high expressive quality.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Death is the final act of Life. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good job.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2014

Thanks for your kind and nice review. Have a lovely week , Ine

reply by c_lucas on 22-Jul-2014

If you say so.