Sensual Addiction
forgive me24 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
Very well written, with deep point-of-view (no pun intended!). My only criticism is... I don't know the technical term for it... "Unlike any perfume made by man, I let her fragrance seep into me" ... the narrator is not a scent. The beginning phrase of that sentence is a description of the subject of the sentence "I." Somehow that should be re-worded. Example: "Unlike any perfume made by man, her fragrance seeps into me..." I'm sure you could think of something better though.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
  |
Very well written, with deep point-of-view (no pun intended!). My only criticism is... I don't know the technical term for it... "Unlike any perfume made by man, I let her fragrance seep into me" ... the narrator is not a scent. The beginning phrase of that sentence is a description of the subject of the sentence "I." Somehow that should be re-worded. Example: "Unlike any perfume made by man, her fragrance seeps into me..." I'm sure you could think of something better though.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
That is a very good idea, and it flows so much better. Thank you very much. I love it.
Comment from Jackarrie
You certainly fill the requirements of the prompt for sensuality. The sex sounded great, and one can see how it must be very difficult for a married man with children, not to feel so guilty at what he is doing. I know this is fictional, but it is reality for a lot of men. You have written is well, I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
You certainly fill the requirements of the prompt for sensuality. The sex sounded great, and one can see how it must be very difficult for a married man with children, not to feel so guilty at what he is doing. I know this is fictional, but it is reality for a lot of men. You have written is well, I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from granny goes viral
This is damn good. Even from a woman's point of view. Yes, it was sexual, but sensual as well, because there was emotion in it. Not just the sex act. Good job.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
This is damn good. Even from a woman's point of view. Yes, it was sexual, but sensual as well, because there was emotion in it. Not just the sex act. Good job.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
-
:)
Comment from K. Lorraine
I found one mistake, Once for shame in 'my' wife's bed. And now for the story. XXX rating, but well worth reading. You either have a great sex life or you are a wonderfully tormented and deprived sex junkie with a great imagination. Kudos on a well written adult story that we all need forgiveness for reading.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
I found one mistake, Once for shame in 'my' wife's bed. And now for the story. XXX rating, but well worth reading. You either have a great sex life or you are a wonderfully tormented and deprived sex junkie with a great imagination. Kudos on a well written adult story that we all need forgiveness for reading.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Mark Valentine
This is so professionally written. In addition to meeting the contest requirements and merely being titilating, it goes deeper into the psychology of the man - "A face a man like me could never kiss for free" is a great line. That line plus the repeated prayer for forgiveness make this a more complex vignette and help the reader feel some sympathy toward a guy cheating on his wife. Very well done - gets my vote.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
 |
This is so professionally written. In addition to meeting the contest requirements and merely being titilating, it goes deeper into the psychology of the man - "A face a man like me could never kiss for free" is a great line. That line plus the repeated prayer for forgiveness make this a more complex vignette and help the reader feel some sympathy toward a guy cheating on his wife. Very well done - gets my vote.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. This is wonderfully penned and captivates the reader from start to finish - I even feel bad for the poor guy but self-control is not something many men possess when confronted with such arousing beauty. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. This is wonderfully penned and captivates the reader from start to finish - I even feel bad for the poor guy but self-control is not something many men possess when confronted with such arousing beauty. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from honeytree
The art work and words were very sensual and written well.
I guess we are all human beings
We have sex particularly when we love someone.
honey tree
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
The art work and words were very sensual and written well.
I guess we are all human beings
We have sex particularly when we love someone.
honey tree
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
-
Liked what you wrote
honeytree
-
Liked what you wrote
honeytree
-
Liked what you wrote.
honey tree
Comment from daeneam
I hate men who are slave of their flesh. They are men who have bigger penis than brain. Oh forgive me! I hate sluts too. I always ask God why sluts and cheating are created. I really hate them. If I have to have a power, that will be killing someone who cheats just by looking at him. I'll be voting for this. It affected me so much! c", mae
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
I hate men who are slave of their flesh. They are men who have bigger penis than brain. Oh forgive me! I hate sluts too. I always ask God why sluts and cheating are created. I really hate them. If I have to have a power, that will be killing someone who cheats just by looking at him. I'll be voting for this. It affected me so much! c", mae
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from mfowler
This is beautifully penned and I found the whole scenario immensely believable. You have described the sex very well, sensually, not smuttily, as many writers manage to do when they get close to this sort of thing. I think you have a good chance in this.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
|
This is beautifully penned and I found the whole scenario immensely believable. You have described the sex very well, sensually, not smuttily, as many writers manage to do when they get close to this sort of thing. I think you have a good chance in this.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from livelylinda
Author: once again I'm reading a story about SENSUALITY yet it is just about sex. There is a big difference. Being sensual is the look, not the act. As a story, you have written well with good detail. As a contest entry, you may have missed the mark. I think it will depend if more men or more women do the voting. livelylinda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2014
 |
Author: once again I'm reading a story about SENSUALITY yet it is just about sex. There is a big difference. Being sensual is the look, not the act. As a story, you have written well with good detail. As a contest entry, you may have missed the mark. I think it will depend if more men or more women do the voting. livelylinda
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2014
-
Thanks for the review. I saw you write you write that for another tale before I wrote this. So I looked up the definition of sensuality, and applied it directly. I know people can have their own personal idea of what something means to them and that's fine. Not ask you to change your review of this or the other tale but perhaps you would be willing to look up the official definition and consider that the writers used that for the contest.
-
I did look up the word sensuality. Most of the definition centers around 'sensuality' and a tiny bit throws you a bone into raw sex which part you decided to write about. A woman knows the difference. A man does not. My experience tells me that women will see this differently then men. I will change nothing. But, like I said earlier, whether more men or more women vote in this contest, will determine the winner. My 18 year old grandson told me one day recently that he just doesn't understand women. I laughed out loud. But, it is quite simple. Men and women are driven by their hormones (generally speaking). Our hormones are vastly different. End of story. Good luck in the contest. livelylinda
