A Christmas Rescue
A Magical Christmas Tale45 total reviews
Comment from Serendipity!
he really couldn't see the point.(could this be reworded?)Cute, lively little escape into the land of "Let's Pretend". I like your idea of using the Internet to bring the magic back.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2015
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he really couldn't see the point.(could this be reworded?)Cute, lively little escape into the land of "Let's Pretend". I like your idea of using the Internet to bring the magic back.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for the great review. GMG
Comment from amada
I have always loved fairy tales, and magic and mysticism. I like to expand my mind beyond the realms of my mind. Therefore I just loved this magic tale and return of rainbows.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2015
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I have always loved fairy tales, and magic and mysticism. I like to expand my mind beyond the realms of my mind. Therefore I just loved this magic tale and return of rainbows.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for your thoughts on this. Much appreciated. GMG
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice work. Very creative and funny. I enjoyed the elements of magic and their ties to the rainbow. The mention of D&D is funny, I've played for years. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Nice work. Very creative and funny. I enjoyed the elements of magic and their ties to the rainbow. The mention of D&D is funny, I've played for years. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Why does that not surprise me (D&D)! I love fantasy stuff, but keep it very separate from my Sci-Fi. Much appreciated. G
Comment from BillyCraven
this is a really well told tale. I'm not surprised to see it so well regarded. The humour you employ throughout is very refreshing and I liked the use of the poem. Very Christmassy!
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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this is a really well told tale. I'm not surprised to see it so well regarded. The humour you employ throughout is very refreshing and I liked the use of the poem. Very Christmassy!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for your great response to the piece. Much appreciated.
GMG
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was very clever, and totally delightful. I loved the concept of 'replacing the mundane with the magic', and enjoyed your repeated contrasting of the two:
' "Oh for fu..." He caught himself just in time'
'She had lost a lot of her sparkle and looked more like a night light than a shooting star'
'Oh, and by the way, you really don't want to look in the kitchen'
Odds & ends. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'just look at the place' (I'm not sure you quite get away with using this phrase twice in the same paragraph. Also, it has an exclamation mark the second time, but not the first. My dictionary rather neatly defines an exclamation as 'a vehement utterance'; I think Santa's ouburst definitely qualifies).
'He grabbed his big red wool --lined coat' (Delete space after 'wool').
'They don't believe in the magic[,] *--* in me anymore' (Just a suggestion).
'pointing at the sprite,the imp and the pixie.' (Insert space after the comma).
'They had never seen Santa so angry or sad looking' (Can you look angry and sad at the same time? I'm not sure).
'None of you should be seen out there and no one on the other side, the real world, can get hurt.' (I'm not sure that any of the assembled would call the non-magic world the 'real' world. I think you could delete 'the real world'; it's not really needed -- 'on the other side' is fine).
'surrounded once again by a gentle glow,' (Insert space after 'glow,').
'receive their biggest *magical* boost [of magic] of the year' (Avoids repetition of 'of').
'Her wings beat faster and her glow was brightening with [almost] each word' (I feel 'almost' has no function here, and can be deleted).
'There have always been homemade gifts and these require a sense of magic all of [its] *their* own'
'[so] it's a win, win situation for us. So, what do you think? (Avoids repetition of 'so').
Adrian
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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I thought this was very clever, and totally delightful. I loved the concept of 'replacing the mundane with the magic', and enjoyed your repeated contrasting of the two:
' "Oh for fu..." He caught himself just in time'
'She had lost a lot of her sparkle and looked more like a night light than a shooting star'
'Oh, and by the way, you really don't want to look in the kitchen'
Odds & ends. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'just look at the place' (I'm not sure you quite get away with using this phrase twice in the same paragraph. Also, it has an exclamation mark the second time, but not the first. My dictionary rather neatly defines an exclamation as 'a vehement utterance'; I think Santa's ouburst definitely qualifies).
'He grabbed his big red wool --lined coat' (Delete space after 'wool').
'They don't believe in the magic[,] *--* in me anymore' (Just a suggestion).
'pointing at the sprite,the imp and the pixie.' (Insert space after the comma).
'They had never seen Santa so angry or sad looking' (Can you look angry and sad at the same time? I'm not sure).
'None of you should be seen out there and no one on the other side, the real world, can get hurt.' (I'm not sure that any of the assembled would call the non-magic world the 'real' world. I think you could delete 'the real world'; it's not really needed -- 'on the other side' is fine).
'surrounded once again by a gentle glow,' (Insert space after 'glow,').
'receive their biggest *magical* boost [of magic] of the year' (Avoids repetition of 'of').
'Her wings beat faster and her glow was brightening with [almost] each word' (I feel 'almost' has no function here, and can be deleted).
'There have always been homemade gifts and these require a sense of magic all of [its] *their* own'
'[so] it's a win, win situation for us. So, what do you think? (Avoids repetition of 'so').
Adrian
Comment Written 14-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for the great and useful review one again, Adrian. Always appreciated. G
Comment from barkingdog
I"m so glad you posted this for us this year, G. It's a marvelous non-stop read with a perfect ending.
I love each character and what you did to make them each unique and life-like.
I can see why you won the contest. This is one of the best stories that I've read all year. Length is no problem when the story holds one's attention like this one does.
Merry Christmas and thank you for the magic.
:) e
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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I"m so glad you posted this for us this year, G. It's a marvelous non-stop read with a perfect ending.
I love each character and what you did to make them each unique and life-like.
I can see why you won the contest. This is one of the best stories that I've read all year. Length is no problem when the story holds one's attention like this one does.
Merry Christmas and thank you for the magic.
:) e
Comment Written 13-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece, E. I have to admit I like this one a lot! G
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It would make a great film. Children would love it. Big kids like me would, too. I wonder if Pixar would be interested. Imagine the great cartooning with the many little characters. The rainbow scenes would be wonderful.
You should scout around.
:) ellen
Comment from ericawrites
This is a delightful Christmas story,
children will love it.
You hold your reader's attention
from start to finish.
Well done, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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This is a delightful Christmas story,
children will love it.
You hold your reader's attention
from start to finish.
Well done, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for your thoughts on this piece. it is very much appreciated. GMG
Comment from Ulla
This is a lovely fairy tale about Santa getting his magic back. I can see why you won with this one and I'm looking forward to the sequel. All best. Ulla
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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This is a lovely fairy tale about Santa getting his magic back. I can see why you won with this one and I'm looking forward to the sequel. All best. Ulla
Comment Written 13-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for your thoughts on this one, Ulla. I had fun writing it. About half way through the follow-up. Posting next week probably. G
Comment from Eric1
Hi Gareth, I absolutely loved this wonderful fantasy tale and am proud to say I am a convert to all things magical. Reading your brilliant well structured Christmas story has really cheered me up, this is crying out for a sequel my friend.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015
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Hi Gareth, I absolutely loved this wonderful fantasy tale and am proud to say I am a convert to all things magical. Reading your brilliant well structured Christmas story has really cheered me up, this is crying out for a sequel my friend.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015
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Hi Eric, many thanks for the great response to this. I am half way through the follow up and things get a bit worse for poor old Santa and his helpers. Hoping to post next week.
Much appreciated, as always. G
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Magic is not the only thing people are starting to lose their belief in.
And, when all these time honored traditions are lost, and gone forever, then this world will be in much sadder shape than it is in today.
Will Christmas help restore some of this loss?
The true meaning of Christmas will.
It is the only thing that can.
Well written story depicting the nightmare life is becoming.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015
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Magic is not the only thing people are starting to lose their belief in.
And, when all these time honored traditions are lost, and gone forever, then this world will be in much sadder shape than it is in today.
Will Christmas help restore some of this loss?
The true meaning of Christmas will.
It is the only thing that can.
Well written story depicting the nightmare life is becoming.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2015
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Many thanks for the very thoughtful response to this piece, Brett. very much appreciated. GMG
