Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

Different piece here for the competition.

I am not sure how it will fare but you used a variation on rock - rocking - is this allowed within the context of the rules?

Anyway, I really like this story. How many will have to pay for the narrator's cowardice not being able to end their own life?

Good piece.
G

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

I changed it awhile ago, G-Man.Thanks for the affirmative feedback and for reading my story at all.
It's appreciated.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Mystery Author, this is an excellent entry for this particular competition, Your rather ghoulish entry should do really well in this category, I wish you all the best in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Thank you for reading, Eric.

reply by Eric1 on 17-Aug-2015

Well you got my vote dean!

reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Thanks.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I gather that he is a possessed. He hates being controlled but has no other choice since he is too cowardly to commit suicide. So, he's off to kill the doctor and collect human teeth for the demon that possess him and drives him to do it.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

You would be exactly right in that assessment, BD. Have you ever seen the film Don't Be Afraid of the Dark", directed by Guillermo del Toro, who also directed Pan's Labyrinth? In it, the demons living in the vents of an old but beautifully restored mansion trade things for human teeth--their favorite snack. If they don't get what they want, they exact a most horrendous revenge. Apparently, demons possessing a human host often force their unfortunate victims to knock out their own teeth and eat them (or simply swallow them whole--sans chewing, of course). It renders them powerless to bite or injure the host.

Thanks again for reading. I do appreciate it. ;}

reply by barkingdog on 17-Aug-2015

I remember the title, but not the plot of DBAoftheD.
It must have be a while ago.

reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

2010, I think. It starred Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce...

Comment from Mr. Dark

Exceptional

Wow! To able to paint something so original and so disturbing in so few words... Amazing! No splatter, no gore, just dread. And so much left to the imagination. I envy anyone who can do so much in so few words. This would have made a brilliant addition to Dean Kuch's Tiny Tales. I didn't even realize there were 'required' words for this contest. You used them so nonchalantly that they didn't stick out at all, and it wasn't until I read the prompt that I actually had to go back through and see where you put all the words LOL!

Brilliant work. Love the less is more approach. To be able to create a slice of horror so succinctly with so little... admirable, to say the least!

Frickin awesome!

xoxo
--Sara

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015

Thanks, Sara, that is so kind of you to say. Perhaps Mr. Kuch will permit me to enter this in the book after all is said and done. I will make certain to ask him.

Thanks for the wonderful comments and enthusiastic review. Your generous rating of six stars is also very much appreciated.

Again, thanks so much for reading my entry.

Take care! ;}

Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson

Excellent

Does scared to death come close to the reaction you were aiming for? I started trembling upon seeing your choice artwork. That trembling just continued as I read your story. I hope you are laughing and getting a good chuckle from this. I am now petrified of my nephew who has a fetish for repeatedly washing his hands. I want to know his crime yet I don't. What I am trying to say is Kudos on a job well done. Your writing is exemplary. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Thank you for your complimentary comments, Darlene. They are sincerely appreciated. :}

reply by The Mom/DarleneThomson on 16-Aug-2015

Your welcome :)

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

Space between 9:00 and am?
Dr. Straub, my therapist, calls them "stress dreams"
would be satisfactory here.
With all the vampire movies and literature extant, your meaning is clear, the prompt is satisfied. Excellent.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Thanks for you comments and suggestions, Red. I'll look into it.

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Ah, the unsuspecting and unbelieving doctor is on for a surprise. Sounds like the undead is about to reveal its reality to one more victim. And even the undead cannot seem to give up on life.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Thanks, Debi. I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. :}

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This is an interesting story that seems to take its story from a psychological framework of a person who has gone from horrible dreams to acting out. Here we go.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Here we go... indeed, Bill.
Thank you for taking a look at my story. :)

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Always enjoy reading, and writing a good Horror story. And as this one claims "life bites". Truer words seldom spoken. Should be a good contest entry.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Thank you very much for taking the required time to read and review my story, Brett. It is appreciated.

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

Quite a gruesome bit of writing in such a few words. Words that really set the reading on edge and cause you to look over your shoulder. A good use of the required words that fit flawlessly into the story. An excellent addition to the contest, and good luck.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 16-Aug-2015

Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story, sibhus. I truly appreciate you doing so.