October's Breath
quatrains with closing couplet21 total reviews
Comment from Taffspride
A nice entry for the halloween contest Debbie, I liked the formating and presentation.
My only nits are
Leads up to a scares. Change to:- the scares. Or, leads up to a scare on ...
True a delight. This does not read smoothly, consider:- a true delight.
Thanks fo sharing and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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A nice entry for the halloween contest Debbie, I liked the formating and presentation.
My only nits are
Leads up to a scares. Change to:- the scares. Or, leads up to a scare on ...
True a delight. This does not read smoothly, consider:- a true delight.
Thanks fo sharing and good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
Comment from JW
This is a well-written and very cute Halloween poem, Debbie.
It's had to believe the holiday is so close. This year has passed by so quickly.
Well. At least for me it has.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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This is a well-written and very cute Halloween poem, Debbie.
It's had to believe the holiday is so close. This year has passed by so quickly.
Well. At least for me it has.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Hi, my friend. I know I have missed a couple of your posts. I will get to them eventually. I broke my glasses and can't read much without the./ Thank you. How are you doing?Debbie
Comment from Alan K Pease
Excellent Halloween poem leading us into the darker world of night - a world of ghosts, witches, goblins, tombstones - excellent entry for the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Excellent Halloween poem leading us into the darker world of night - a world of ghosts, witches, goblins, tombstones - excellent entry for the contest.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Debbie,
It is a pleasure to read your work. "October's Breath"captures the spirit and atmosphere of the modern Halloween celebration. The Abba rhyme scheme and the rhyming itself are exemplary. The concluding couplet is a good idea. Your figurative language is excellent e.g. "A mysterious month of spooks and fright".
I will comment that I think it would better if "spook" in the first stanza were plural.
Good job.
Your friend and colleague
Preston
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Hi, Debbie,
It is a pleasure to read your work. "October's Breath"captures the spirit and atmosphere of the modern Halloween celebration. The Abba rhyme scheme and the rhyming itself are exemplary. The concluding couplet is a good idea. Your figurative language is excellent e.g. "A mysterious month of spooks and fright".
I will comment that I think it would better if "spook" in the first stanza were plural.
Good job.
Your friend and colleague
Preston
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thanks. I'm having a terrible time posting as I did break my glasses and can't see well without them~Debbie
Comment from patcelaw
I am not a big fan of Halloween, however your presentation here is very well done and your point about the day are how many see Halloween. Patricia
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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I am not a big fan of Halloween, however your presentation here is very well done and your point about the day are how many see Halloween. Patricia
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Halloween is indeed meant to be the scariest night of the year. And, also one of the most fun. Well written poem depicts this theme nicely indeed.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Halloween is indeed meant to be the scariest night of the year. And, also one of the most fun. Well written poem depicts this theme nicely indeed.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
Comment from mumsyone
Good title, Debbie, and a nice presentation. Hard to believe Halloween is almost here already; seems like we just celebrated it!
Leads up to a scaresh (remove 'a' or change 'scares' to scare' of Halloween night
A farmer's saving grace, true a delight (a true delight)
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Good title, Debbie, and a nice presentation. Hard to believe Halloween is almost here already; seems like we just celebrated it!
Leads up to a scaresh (remove 'a' or change 'scares' to scare' of Halloween night
A farmer's saving grace, true a delight (a true delight)
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Did you have your surgery? I hope so and that it went well. I still haven't gotten new glasses, so am not able to do much reading. Hugs~Debbie
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Hi Debbie, Surgery went well and I am now at my son's house. Won't be doing any reviewing though, for a few days. Hugs, Lois
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Glad it is going well. I ended up moving to a nursing home for greater concentration on PT and OT. Hopefully will go home Friday. Take care, my friend~Debbie
Comment from royowen
A beautifully written work Debbie, you have done a great job with this entry, a wonderfully worded quatrain with a couplet last verse, the smooth, descriptive beauty that written in aabb rhyming, very good entry, well done. Good luck, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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A beautifully written work Debbie, you have done a great job with this entry, a wonderfully worded quatrain with a couplet last verse, the smooth, descriptive beauty that written in aabb rhyming, very good entry, well done. Good luck, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
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My pleasure Debbie
Comment from Jay Squires
Cute poem, Debbie. Glad you have it entered in the contest.
I don't think we'll be out of the 90's here by Halloween. Today was 100 degrees!
Leads up to a scares of Halloween night [I don't think you want that "a" in there, Debbie.]
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Cute poem, Debbie. Glad you have it entered in the contest.
I don't think we'll be out of the 90's here by Halloween. Today was 100 degrees!
Leads up to a scares of Halloween night [I don't think you want that "a" in there, Debbie.]
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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It's been warm here too, this fall. Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Verrrry nicely done, Debbie. The presentation is lovely, too, with the elegant font in orange on black and the perfect picture. One suggestion: Edit this and add two empty spaces at the end, so that the final stanza will have some black under it and not be crowded at the bottom edge.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Verrrry nicely done, Debbie. The presentation is lovely, too, with the elegant font in orange on black and the perfect picture. One suggestion: Edit this and add two empty spaces at the end, so that the final stanza will have some black under it and not be crowded at the bottom edge.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2015
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Thank you for the stars, my friend~Debbie
