The Conjurer, Part Five
Mounting mistrust40 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Great chapter, Bev, with wonderful descriptions and mysterious happenings going on. Your ending is perfect and keeps me on the she of my seat wondering what will happen next. I enjoyed your chapter very much.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Great chapter, Bev, with wonderful descriptions and mysterious happenings going on. Your ending is perfect and keeps me on the she of my seat wondering what will happen next. I enjoyed your chapter very much.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Thanks so much, Karyn. I really appreciate your sticking with this story, as well as your gracious review.
Take care,
Bev
Comment from JW
Interesting, we now have people able to predict the future condition of vehicles.
This chapter is well written and it easily holds the reader's attention, Bev.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Interesting, we now have people able to predict the future condition of vehicles.
This chapter is well written and it easily holds the reader's attention, Bev.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, JW. You are the first person to grasp to express awareness of what Puente was about. Yes, they are tuned in on many levels because they see and feel energy, which can allow them to do things like see the future.
Thanks so much for the perceptive review.
:) Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I could kick myself for not having a six - they go so quickly - I wish Tom would issue more.
You never cease to amaze me with the quality of you writing, Bev - You cleverly let us get to know each character and describe actions and scenes so well.
My thoughts circled like flies around a picnic lunch, and I felt myself begin to detach from my body--similar to what I experienced on Xanax. - a great line!!
Something in the way her fingers grasped onto {{{Pasquale}}} made me think of the woman who'd been with Senor Pasquale in the square - [[[Should this be Puente}}}
Margaret
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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I could kick myself for not having a six - they go so quickly - I wish Tom would issue more.
You never cease to amaze me with the quality of you writing, Bev - You cleverly let us get to know each character and describe actions and scenes so well.
My thoughts circled like flies around a picnic lunch, and I felt myself begin to detach from my body--similar to what I experienced on Xanax. - a great line!!
Something in the way her fingers grasped onto {{{Pasquale}}} made me think of the woman who'd been with Senor Pasquale in the square - [[[Should this be Puente}}}
Margaret
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, Margaret. Great catch. I've made some silly mistakes in this post. Thanks to the sharp readers, I've been able to clean things up. So, thank you very much.
A five star rating, along with your encouragement and support, make me perfectly happy, Margaret. I do think having a limit on sixes is a bit juvenile. I run out so fast!
:) Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
"I ran my hands over the stubble on my chin, up my cheeks and across the top of my head as if to scrub away the cobwebs. My thoughts circled like flies around a picnic lunch, and I felt myself begin to detach from my body--similar to what I experienced on Xanax. Only I had not taken Xanax since starting out on this trip, and this was not a good time to zone out." I love the details of the actions. "like flies around a picnic lunch," What a terrific comparison!
I am so impressed with the quality of this writing. Is this the last story you wrote, Bev? You do a male POV like a pro.
The story is in the details and you're so good at bringing in that aura of danger. I'm really enjoying this. Next!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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"I ran my hands over the stubble on my chin, up my cheeks and across the top of my head as if to scrub away the cobwebs. My thoughts circled like flies around a picnic lunch, and I felt myself begin to detach from my body--similar to what I experienced on Xanax. Only I had not taken Xanax since starting out on this trip, and this was not a good time to zone out." I love the details of the actions. "like flies around a picnic lunch," What a terrific comparison!
I am so impressed with the quality of this writing. Is this the last story you wrote, Bev? You do a male POV like a pro.
The story is in the details and you're so good at bringing in that aura of danger. I'm really enjoying this. Next!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, Adrienne. Thank you for sticking with this story. I've got in mind about eight total parts. Your wonderful reviews have helped me stay on track, and I very much appreciate it. When a writer I admire tells me something is going good, I'd better pay attention!
I don't quite know what it is about this male character that compells me to write him like I do. In fact, I feel like I am him as I've been a seeker of knowledge all my life. Not traditional knowledge, but the kind I suspect you also understand. I dunno. It's kind of a mystery.
Anyway, I think you'll enjoy the interactions between Stefan and the shaman which will begin with the next part. Any suggestions you might have are always appreciated.
Thanks so much, once again.
:) Bev
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You do the male POV so well. I admit that most of my favorite authors (in the real world) are males. You do it so darn well, I'd swear you were a guy. LOL! But you're so obviously female in real life! It blows my mind. Loving this story.
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Come to think of it, a lot of my favorite writers are male too, Adrienne! I'd not thought of that connection until now. Two of my all-time favorites are Tony Hillerman and Jimmy Lee Burke.
:) Bev
Comment from Eric1
Hi Bev, so things are hotting up and getting more mysterious, This is a wonderful story that has intrigued me and grabbed my attention from the start, your use of description and attention to detail is the mark of a brilliant writer my friend, I am a fan!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi Bev, so things are hotting up and getting more mysterious, This is a wonderful story that has intrigued me and grabbed my attention from the start, your use of description and attention to detail is the mark of a brilliant writer my friend, I am a fan!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Well, Eric, you've just put a big old smile on my face this morning. Thank you for your awesome review. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. I have to tell you it's pulling out the best I have at this point, with the help of sharp-eyed readers for the occasional tweak. So, I really appreciate your support and encouragement.
:) Bev
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I'm sure it's not an old smile Bev, I bet it's a beautiful smile my friend.
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That's very sweet, Eric. Thank you! :) Bev
Comment from Ulla
Bev, I have just fallen in to this story as it were and I am glad the I did. This is excellent writing, and although I would normally look out for more dialogue in fiction, your showing of sentiments and feelings are so vivid that it kept be spellbound. I am definitely looking out for more. Well done. All best. Ulla
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Bev, I have just fallen in to this story as it were and I am glad the I did. This is excellent writing, and although I would normally look out for more dialogue in fiction, your showing of sentiments and feelings are so vivid that it kept be spellbound. I am definitely looking out for more. Well done. All best. Ulla
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, Ulla. Thank you for reading this part of the story. I appreciate very much your encouragement and support. You are absolutely correct on the point of the limited
dialogue in this part. But that is going to change when Stefano and the shaman meet.
You might be wishing he'd shut up at that point LOL.
:) Bev
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Ok lovely, I'm looking forward to that. I really enjoyed the read. Ulla:)
Comment from Bryana
I can imagine the frustration when people don't listen
to you or don't understand since they speak a different
language. I'm sure Carlos understood about the radio,
he just wanted to listen to the music.
Very well written, it was fun to read.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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I can imagine the frustration when people don't listen
to you or don't understand since they speak a different
language. I'm sure Carlos understood about the radio,
he just wanted to listen to the music.
Very well written, it was fun to read.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Yes, he did, Bryana. But he's young and playing his part in the 'plot' to disorient Stefano in preparation for entering the shaman's world.
Thanks for stopping by to read and for you excellent review. Good to hear from you.
:) Bev
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My pleasure
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hello Bev, Can you check the third last paragraph because I think you have Pasquale where you should have Puente. I'm finding this very readable and intriguing as well. It does kind of grab the imagination and interest - lots of intrigue in this paragraph, Giddy
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hello Bev, Can you check the third last paragraph because I think you have Pasquale where you should have Puente. I'm finding this very readable and intriguing as well. It does kind of grab the imagination and interest - lots of intrigue in this paragraph, Giddy
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Giddy, thanks for your excellent review. You have a sharp eye because another reviewer also mention the name switch.
Thanks so much!
:) Bev
Comment from Cletus Hardiman
This is the first of your articles that I have read since I have been back on the site, after a 3 or 4 year absence. You are a good writer...Just keep it up! Thanks, Cletus Hardiman
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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This is the first of your articles that I have read since I have been back on the site, after a 3 or 4 year absence. You are a good writer...Just keep it up! Thanks, Cletus Hardiman
Comment Written 10-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, Cletus. Welcome back! Thank you for taking time to review my story. I appreciate your encouragement and support.
:) Bev
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You are very welcome, my friend. We used to talk a lot....remember??? Take care, Cletus Hardiman
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I remember well, Cletus. I'll be looking for your posts.
Comment from boxergirl
Hey there, Bev.
I enjoyed another segment of your story. Normally, I would say you might need mire dialogue in places but you do such s great job with your descriptive details that I remain engaged throughout.
The suspense is certainly building and I await anxiously for the next post.
Karen 8-)
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hey there, Bev.
I enjoyed another segment of your story. Normally, I would say you might need mire dialogue in places but you do such s great job with your descriptive details that I remain engaged throughout.
The suspense is certainly building and I await anxiously for the next post.
Karen 8-)
Comment Written 09-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015
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Hi, Karen. I appreciate your insights and encouragement. The remaining parts will, likely, be more dialogue-driven, which I admit I enjoy as well. Thanks for the excellent review...
Bev
