Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Disinterment"A collection of poems on these themes
22 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
I saw the title and was expecting a "Tiny Tale of Terror", and then let my guard down when I saw that it was a poem - big mistake - what a great payoff at the end! A creative entry for the free verse contest - good luck!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
  |
I saw the title and was expecting a "Tiny Tale of Terror", and then let my guard down when I saw that it was a poem - big mistake - what a great payoff at the end! A creative entry for the free verse contest - good luck!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Mark.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
That's a scary narrator. He calls the cadaver, my love, and yet it's evident he burried her in a bag, still bound in wires. And it comes unexpectedly. Sort of a Hannibal Lector kind of guy. Brrr! Well done, Steve, surprise ending and all. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
That's a scary narrator. He calls the cadaver, my love, and yet it's evident he burried her in a bag, still bound in wires. And it comes unexpectedly. Sort of a Hannibal Lector kind of guy. Brrr! Well done, Steve, surprise ending and all. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Adrienne. Not really that scary...
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
-
Maybe you finally got too deep for us, ordinary folks, uh? Ya gotta watch that, kid! LOL!
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Steve,
Oh' you are so naughty, this made me laugh so much.
I was just thinking what a very serious poem for 'Steve' and then I read the last three lines. Fantastic.
Brenda
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
Hi Steve,
Oh' you are so naughty, this made me laugh so much.
I was just thinking what a very serious poem for 'Steve' and then I read the last three lines. Fantastic.
Brenda
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Brenda.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Ha! "My love, I should have buried you more deeply". I love surprise endings, and this one certainly surprised me. Your poem sets a sad mood and then surprise, the reader is slapped happy with an unexpected laugh, surprised that it is the killer's account that one is reading. Clever!
Well written. Very descriptive stanzas.
Connie
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
Ha! "My love, I should have buried you more deeply". I love surprise endings, and this one certainly surprised me. Your poem sets a sad mood and then surprise, the reader is slapped happy with an unexpected laugh, surprised that it is the killer's account that one is reading. Clever!
Well written. Very descriptive stanzas.
Connie
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Connie.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh snap! Great ending, Steve :) You had me thinking this was just another free verse that I didn't understand. You sly guy you. You totally got me lol! This is wicked funny and makes me feel guilty for laughing.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
Oh snap! Great ending, Steve :) You had me thinking this was just another free verse that I didn't understand. You sly guy you. You totally got me lol! This is wicked funny and makes me feel guilty for laughing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Joy.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
Comment from William Ross
lol. witty and fun had a good laugh on this well done. Good luck in the contest with this I'm sure it will do well, everyone needs a good laugh
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
lol. witty and fun had a good laugh on this well done. Good luck in the contest with this I'm sure it will do well, everyone needs a good laugh
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, William.
Steve
Comment from Chrissy710
Ha Ha Kiwisteve, a clever way to describe a ' wrongful burial' sounds like a murder and the body is not deep enough and now has been discovered by an animal. Perhaps deeper next time with a slab of concrete to hid the evidence.. Could be totally off the mark but that is how I thought when I read the last few lines. Either way well done and good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
Ha Ha Kiwisteve, a clever way to describe a ' wrongful burial' sounds like a murder and the body is not deep enough and now has been discovered by an animal. Perhaps deeper next time with a slab of concrete to hid the evidence.. Could be totally off the mark but that is how I thought when I read the last few lines. Either way well done and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Chrissy.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
-
Dont get too out there LOL . Keep it simple
Comment from Sambangi
You have used very powerful words in this free verse poem. And the twist is in the closing lines. I should have buried deeper... I didn't expect it, but it made the poem very interesting. All the best
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
You have used very powerful words in this free verse poem. And the twist is in the closing lines. I should have buried deeper... I didn't expect it, but it made the poem very interesting. All the best
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thank you.
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
You have upstaged Dean Kuch with this one. Splendidly macabre! I'd have thought you might have saved it for one of the contests looking for verses written on the darker side. I must say that the ending came as a surprise. Having been digging in the garden this afternoon and unearthing rusty nails, old bits of china and long lost marbles, I was thinking of something more benign. Perhaps I should take a closer look at those bones the dog buried.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
You have upstaged Dean Kuch with this one. Splendidly macabre! I'd have thought you might have saved it for one of the contests looking for verses written on the darker side. I must say that the ending came as a surprise. Having been digging in the garden this afternoon and unearthing rusty nails, old bits of china and long lost marbles, I was thinking of something more benign. Perhaps I should take a closer look at those bones the dog buried.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Thanks, Tony.
Actually, I don't know if any of my readers truly 'got' this one. My real intention was to present a metaphor for the 'dead' relationship or at least the recurring memories of it. Oh, well. Perhaps it means I am becoming a real poet if no one understands me.
Steve
Comment from joannakruk
A very confronting poem. I understand it to have a dual meaning; the 'burying' of a physical body and also of a memory. The memories should have been concealed deeper, covered up so that the earth was incapable of 'disgorging' it's secrets. Fantastic use of adjectives. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
|
A very confronting poem. I understand it to have a dual meaning; the 'burying' of a physical body and also of a memory. The memories should have been concealed deeper, covered up so that the earth was incapable of 'disgorging' it's secrets. Fantastic use of adjectives. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
-
Hey, Joanna, I think you are the only reviewer who really got that this is indeed a metaphor for the memories one would rather keep buried. Some pretty experienced readers got it quite wrong!
Steve
