Poems By AnnieDawn
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "A Mode Of Transportation"My book of poems and stories
21 total reviews
Comment from johnwilson
Ha Ha! Bravo! This piece really shines and shows a gift with poetry when one can construct such a unique poem with a very difficult prompt. It's funny and paints a true picture for the reader. The rhyming is never strained and I like the way you have lined it up on the page. No editing needed in this reader's opinion.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Ha Ha! Bravo! This piece really shines and shows a gift with poetry when one can construct such a unique poem with a very difficult prompt. It's funny and paints a true picture for the reader. The rhyming is never strained and I like the way you have lined it up on the page. No editing needed in this reader's opinion.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reviewing and your kind words. I had a good time with this one.
Comment from sage17611
I think a clay vessel is just for display, lol. I like the theme of your poem which is well written. The poem flows nicely and the rhyming is smooth. Good luck with the contest, good job with this write.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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I think a clay vessel is just for display, lol. I like the theme of your poem which is well written. The poem flows nicely and the rhyming is smooth. Good luck with the contest, good job with this write.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reviewing and kind words. This is one of those 'duh' poems that comes from one who has to spend most of the day in bed with broken foot elevated...lol
Comment from foxangie123
This is great. Did you create the model of the ship in the picture. That is so very neat as is this Kool piece of writing. Way to go. A really wonderful write.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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This is great. Did you create the model of the ship in the picture. That is so very neat as is this Kool piece of writing. Way to go. A really wonderful write.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2016
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Thanks for reviewing and kind words. This is one of those 'duh' poems that comes from one who has to spend most of the day in bed with broken foot elevated...lol
Comment from penelopehart
Great rhyming verse and I enjoyed your humor!
It is an energetic poem, with a jaunty pace which you keep right up, so it's moving along...like boats do.
Moonlight bay hmmm? That's where you'll go. That's a beautiful ending.
Your picture is just perfect
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Great rhyming verse and I enjoyed your humor!
It is an energetic poem, with a jaunty pace which you keep right up, so it's moving along...like boats do.
Moonlight bay hmmm? That's where you'll go. That's a beautiful ending.
Your picture is just perfect
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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I thank you for your kind words and review. Have a great weekend.
Comment from djeckert
aninteresting take on what a vessel can be. I am quite sure that you are right that clay aould sink ( unlike lots of other materials) i love your last
line ,about moonlight bau. Good luck in contest and God Bless
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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aninteresting take on what a vessel can be. I am quite sure that you are right that clay aould sink ( unlike lots of other materials) i love your last
line ,about moonlight bau. Good luck in contest and God Bless
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your kind thoughts and review. Have a great weekend.
Comment from EBC62
Hello Poet,
I really like the concept of this poem. It has a "fable" quality almost like the children's' story of the 'Three Little Pigs" with a more adult theme of staying afloat in troubled seas. I wonder if you considered a vessel made of "Stone"....maybe instead of paper. I like the vessel of clay (especially with the artwork) because it calls upon a more adaptable vessel but too heavy to really float (too serious, perhaps per your theme...at least as I interpret it. Good read; good rhythm but maybe stretching the rhyme with "ought ter" ?
Good Luck in the contest.
Respectfully,
~EBC~
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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Hello Poet,
I really like the concept of this poem. It has a "fable" quality almost like the children's' story of the 'Three Little Pigs" with a more adult theme of staying afloat in troubled seas. I wonder if you considered a vessel made of "Stone"....maybe instead of paper. I like the vessel of clay (especially with the artwork) because it calls upon a more adaptable vessel but too heavy to really float (too serious, perhaps per your theme...at least as I interpret it. Good read; good rhythm but maybe stretching the rhyme with "ought ter" ?
Good Luck in the contest.
Respectfully,
~EBC~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thanks for your review and thoughts. I was not really happy with that rhyme either but the choice was really limited so I kept with the humor. . Have a great weekend.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is quite the humorous take on this prompt and I think is likely to do very well. Save paper boats for the bathtub. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This is quite the humorous take on this prompt and I think is likely to do very well. Save paper boats for the bathtub. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much for your kind words and review. I like to review ones that have a bit of humor too.
Comment from tfawcus
This, in the tradition of good nonsense verse, has more depth than might at first be apparent. We need to make wise choices if we are to keep ourselves afloat.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This, in the tradition of good nonsense verse, has more depth than might at first be apparent. We need to make wise choices if we are to keep ourselves afloat.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much for your kind words and review. I like to review ones that have a bit of humor too.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. U agree a ship made of clay is not a very good idea. It will dissolve very quickly and leave you to swim to the destination or sink with it.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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A very well-written poem. U agree a ship made of clay is not a very good idea. It will dissolve very quickly and leave you to swim to the destination or sink with it.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much for your kind words and review. I like to review ones that have a bit of humor too.
Comment from enitsalemap
A very humorous and clever way to fulfill the requirements for the What is a clay vessel prompt contest. I particularly love the last stanza using teak to rhyme with leak really worked.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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A very humorous and clever way to fulfill the requirements for the What is a clay vessel prompt contest. I particularly love the last stanza using teak to rhyme with leak really worked.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much for your kind words and review. I like to review ones that have a bit of humor too.
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Most of my poems are in the humor category also. Lightheartedness seems to help in today's turmoil.