The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Piper, part 18"Young Adult Fantasy
18 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Secrets easily flow
Until they reach the right ears
Then they are accepted or rejected
Sometime, they bring tears.
***
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Secrets easily flow
Until they reach the right ears
Then they are accepted or rejected
Sometime, they bring tears.
***
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Hi Charlie. What a creative review. I enjoyed reading it. Thank your insight put to verse. I love it. Debi
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You're welcome, Debi. Charlie
Comment from apky
An enchanting story with equally enchanting characters.
This is a genre I'm learning to get into and I enjoyed and appreciated your style, your eye for details and your descriptive prowess.
I look forward to more.
"...I was on my way to meet with him so we could fulfill our promise(,) when I heard of his death."
Cheers,
Apky
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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An enchanting story with equally enchanting characters.
This is a genre I'm learning to get into and I enjoyed and appreciated your style, your eye for details and your descriptive prowess.
I look forward to more.
"...I was on my way to meet with him so we could fulfill our promise(,) when I heard of his death."
Cheers,
Apky
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Hi Apky,
I am pleased you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for the advice on the punctuation. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review. Debi
Comment from Heather Knight
Very interesting conversation. The dialogue is natural and I can feel Piper's frustration and sadness.
I wonder what will happen when he meets his biological mum.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Very interesting conversation. The dialogue is natural and I can feel Piper's frustration and sadness.
I wonder what will happen when he meets his biological mum.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Thank you for a great review. I appreciate you mentioning the dialogue and that you can feel Piper's emotions. It is good to know what works. Debi
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Debi
= I don't usually read read fantasy, but I have to admit, I have been enjoying your story.
= Looking forward to finding out what's next for Piper.
= Nicely penned, my friend.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Hi, Debi
= I don't usually read read fantasy, but I have to admit, I have been enjoying your story.
= Looking forward to finding out what's next for Piper.
= Nicely penned, my friend.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Hi Jax,
Thank you so much for the six stars and the encouraging comments. I am pleased you are enjoying the story. Debi
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Another solid chapter here. Interesting revelations about Piper's heritage and the dialogue works well.
To being with, your grandfather - to begin with?
Fair Folk mature at different rates, especially when bloods are mixed. - you need to have closing speech marks here.
I have to say that the repetition of the flute polishing grated on me by the end. I get that it's a repetitive act that is comforting for Piper, but maybe consider altering a few for different actions? I think it's referenced six times here. Other than that a great instalment.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Hi there,
Another solid chapter here. Interesting revelations about Piper's heritage and the dialogue works well.
To being with, your grandfather - to begin with?
Fair Folk mature at different rates, especially when bloods are mixed. - you need to have closing speech marks here.
I have to say that the repetition of the flute polishing grated on me by the end. I get that it's a repetitive act that is comforting for Piper, but maybe consider altering a few for different actions? I think it's referenced six times here. Other than that a great instalment.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Hi G,
Well, we cannot have grated G so I have gone ahead and taken the flute polishing down to three times. I'll look at it later and see if I can remove one more. Thanks for the heads up. I have corrected the other nits you mentioned as well. Thanks for a great review. Debi
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Totally on the button, here, a very, very good story, characterisation developing well, intriguing concepts, lovely musical theme. Absolutely love it, well done.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Totally on the button, here, a very, very good story, characterisation developing well, intriguing concepts, lovely musical theme. Absolutely love it, well done.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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I am delighted with your review and encouraged to continue the story. Thank you for the kind comments and the beautiful shiny six star rating. Debi
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
Wonderful story from first word to last. Love the cast if characters--especially "Melodica" being the "Elven". What a wonderful imaginative story you have here! Too many great lines to mention. Keep writing! BRAVA! BRAVA! BRAVA!
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reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Wonderful story from first word to last. Love the cast if characters--especially "Melodica" being the "Elven". What a wonderful imaginative story you have here! Too many great lines to mention. Keep writing! BRAVA! BRAVA! BRAVA!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2017
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Love your name Seraphim Delphinium.
Thank you for the encouraging comments, and the BRAVA's. (You must speak Italian.) I am pleased you enjoyed the story. Thank you for stopping by.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear friend,
This is the first I've read of this story-line, and though I don't typically enjoy the fantasy genre, I did find this pleasing and well-written. Great job!
Only a couple of notes, if you'll permit?
1.) At least he is making it easy to (begin?)
2.) (My?) parents died from the fever when I was nine.
Thanks !
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Dear friend,
This is the first I've read of this story-line, and though I don't typically enjoy the fantasy genre, I did find this pleasing and well-written. Great job!
Only a couple of notes, if you'll permit?
1.) At least he is making it easy to (begin?)
2.) (My?) parents died from the fever when I was nine.
Thanks !
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017
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Hi Robyn,
Thank you for the encouraging review. Most especially, thank you for catching the SPAG. I've read this chapter through so many times and just didn't see those very obvious errors. I appreciate the close read and the assistance. Debi