My Footprint
A conservation poem19 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Bearing in mind our recent discussion about alternative layouts. It is not so difficult to do. Have a quick look at this. I have not altered a single word merely the order of the lines. The rhyme scheme is now ababcc. it rings the changes just a bit. You might want to alter the punctuation. You might want to throw it in the bin. It is only intended as food for thought.
At times like this, I feel so lost.
The plastics that I used kill birds.
I wonder what my life has cost.
It saddens me; I'm out of words.
The meat I ate was yanked from life.
This makes my conscience feel such strife.
And, I've consumed so many eggs,
so lower prices can be paid.
from factories where chicken legs
are filthy from the feces made,
Organic foods do cost a lot,
but worth the battle that's been fought.
My footprint echoes sloth and waste,
I multiply myself by ten,
and whispers words with too much haste.
and do it many times again.
With seven billion people here,
for future earth, I really fear.
I question my priorities,
Complacencies have no excuse,
but then my conscience starts to freeze.
when they will cause such bad abuse.
Please join me in my quest for good.
I think you'd do it if you could.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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Bearing in mind our recent discussion about alternative layouts. It is not so difficult to do. Have a quick look at this. I have not altered a single word merely the order of the lines. The rhyme scheme is now ababcc. it rings the changes just a bit. You might want to alter the punctuation. You might want to throw it in the bin. It is only intended as food for thought.
At times like this, I feel so lost.
The plastics that I used kill birds.
I wonder what my life has cost.
It saddens me; I'm out of words.
The meat I ate was yanked from life.
This makes my conscience feel such strife.
And, I've consumed so many eggs,
so lower prices can be paid.
from factories where chicken legs
are filthy from the feces made,
Organic foods do cost a lot,
but worth the battle that's been fought.
My footprint echoes sloth and waste,
I multiply myself by ten,
and whispers words with too much haste.
and do it many times again.
With seven billion people here,
for future earth, I really fear.
I question my priorities,
Complacencies have no excuse,
but then my conscience starts to freeze.
when they will cause such bad abuse.
Please join me in my quest for good.
I think you'd do it if you could.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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Hi Jim. I intend to write part three of my bi polar series soon. Lack of impulse control. Thank you for taking the time to write this out for me. I will be trying it out soon. I can see that I can just write and rearrange things later. Thank you for your wonderful review
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With someone like yourself breaking the habit of writing in couplets may be difficult to do from scratch but this is one way round the problem. It won't always work as easily as this. Let me know if you want more help.
Comment from jenintorre
You have written a very good poem about your footprint, very topical too. I think we all feel guilty now that we have become aware of the problem and will aim to try and put thing right from now on. Well done Pam.
P.s. I have wtitten a senyru and a 50 word story that have been judged now. Take care. Jen.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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You have written a very good poem about your footprint, very topical too. I think we all feel guilty now that we have become aware of the problem and will aim to try and put thing right from now on. Well done Pam.
P.s. I have wtitten a senyru and a 50 word story that have been judged now. Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2018
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Thank you Jen for a very lovely review
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I don't think the guilt is all yours Pam, the manufacturers should use more cardboard. We had a program on the TV about this problem, it is horrific. Your poem is poignant and well rhymed, we have all contributed to this situation and changes need to be made. What I don't understand is that the supermarkets no longer give you a free plastic bag, but they allow you to buy one? What is the point in that? They should be selling paper bags not plastic ones. As always there is a half hearted attitude to the problem. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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I don't think the guilt is all yours Pam, the manufacturers should use more cardboard. We had a program on the TV about this problem, it is horrific. Your poem is poignant and well rhymed, we have all contributed to this situation and changes need to be made. What I don't understand is that the supermarkets no longer give you a free plastic bag, but they allow you to buy one? What is the point in that? They should be selling paper bags not plastic ones. As always there is a half hearted attitude to the problem. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Dolly for your warm-hearted review
Comment from chrissy8
Your poem is really really good and insightful. Looking at that picture forces us to look at reality and see just what we do when we don't recycle. I definitely buy free range chicken eggs. Your poem brings to light the seven billion of us---startling, really!! Makes me fear for my kids, but thanks for sharing this wonderful poem!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Your poem is really really good and insightful. Looking at that picture forces us to look at reality and see just what we do when we don't recycle. I definitely buy free range chicken eggs. Your poem brings to light the seven billion of us---startling, really!! Makes me fear for my kids, but thanks for sharing this wonderful poem!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Chrissy8. I think one of our kids might solve the issue. A lovely review, thank you
Comment from kiwijenny
I used to be vegetarian
I try to eat organic as much as possible
And to recycle
Thanks for making me think
God bless
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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I used to be vegetarian
I try to eat organic as much as possible
And to recycle
Thanks for making me think
God bless
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you kiwi for a very nice review
Comment from Earl Corp
Nice poem with an important message for all to heed. When I was in the Boy Scouts we were taught to leave a campsite better than we found it. It should be that way with everybody. I do have to say you get extra credit fir making it rhyme.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Nice poem with an important message for all to heed. When I was in the Boy Scouts we were taught to leave a campsite better than we found it. It should be that way with everybody. I do have to say you get extra credit fir making it rhyme.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Earl for such a great review
Comment from Anntonette
This poem relates to switching over from a meat eater to vegan. Yeah eating meat isn't for everyone, we all have different views on things. Thank you for showing me that. It must of improved your self confidence.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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This poem relates to switching over from a meat eater to vegan. Yeah eating meat isn't for everyone, we all have different views on things. Thank you for showing me that. It must of improved your self confidence.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Anntonette for a very nice review
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem of guilt and sorrow that we have so much part in the state of the earth that seems irreversible. We killed our home planet with our neglect and ignorance.
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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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A very well-written poem of guilt and sorrow that we have so much part in the state of the earth that seems irreversible. We killed our home planet with our neglect and ignorance.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Sandra for your wonderful review
Comment from tfawcus
It's easy to feel guilty, in view of our growing awareness of the disastrous consequences of some of these lifestyle choices, by more effective to look forwards and amend one's ways, as your poem suggests.
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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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It's easy to feel guilty, in view of our growing awareness of the disastrous consequences of some of these lifestyle choices, by more effective to look forwards and amend one's ways, as your poem suggests.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
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Thank you Tony for your lovely review