Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 112 "All the Time I Spend"Assorted poetry
21 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Hey Mate, good on you
You done better than I thought you could do
The style and skill with which you told it
Makes me wonder if you might have stole it
if you didn't steal it then congratulations
You've been in school long enough for graduation
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Hey Mate, good on you
You done better than I thought you could do
The style and skill with which you told it
Makes me wonder if you might have stole it
if you didn't steal it then congratulations
You've been in school long enough for graduation
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, nomi, for the great review. Bill
Comment from judiverse
Very enjoyable. This is the plight of the author. Spending all that time on writing and then not knowing what will happen to those works. Enjoyed the rhyme. If you were Patterson, you'd simply get someone else to do the writing for you. Not sure what you meant about "without no Ls." We can all hope for success eventually. You speak for a lot of us in this. judi
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Very enjoyable. This is the plight of the author. Spending all that time on writing and then not knowing what will happen to those works. Enjoyed the rhyme. If you were Patterson, you'd simply get someone else to do the writing for you. Not sure what you meant about "without no Ls." We can all hope for success eventually. You speak for a lot of us in this. judi
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Some challenges here are to write a poem or short piece without using a particular letter.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, this is a great poem which expresses what a lot of us would like to aspire to. A dream that for most remains just that. A dream. I enjoyed your poem very much. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Hi Bill, this is a great poem which expresses what a lot of us would like to aspire to. A dream that for most remains just that. A dream. I enjoyed your poem very much. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Ulla.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
One day I'll be a famous author
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer <-- Great lines!
like Patterson in ev'ry genre
Aussies will say "Hey, Good on ya!" <-- Great RHYME!
Great job overall. Loud applause. :)
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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One day I'll be a famous author
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer <-- Great lines!
like Patterson in ev'ry genre
Aussies will say "Hey, Good on ya!" <-- Great RHYME!
Great job overall. Loud applause. :)
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Phyllis. Appreciate the applause. It?s so quiet here. : /
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Fantastic creativity here Bill, words we can all on here, acknowledge and relate.
Love the structure and effortless flow married with the wonderful satire and sentiments it was right up my street.
Bravo
Mitchell
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Fantastic creativity here Bill, words we can all on here, acknowledge and relate.
Love the structure and effortless flow married with the wonderful satire and sentiments it was right up my street.
Bravo
Mitchell
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks so much, Mitchell, for the terrific review. Bill
Comment from rama devi
This made me chuckle more than once. Clever satire. Well rhymed and inventive. Amusing...entertaining! And it sounds good read aloud. I do have a few punctuation suggestions, noted below:
No one will ever publish this,(; or . or --)
I'll print it out and wrap some fish.
Some stories have been nicely writ,
with punctuation all through it,
and words spelled close as they will get(,)
and plots--well, we're not quite there yet.
Line two in the above has one issue...stories is plural, so the word IT would be THEM...thus, the use of IT seems forced to fit the rhyme.
One day(,) I'll be a famous author(,)
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer(;)
like Patterson in ev'ry genre(,
Aussies will say(m,) "Hey, Good on ya!"
Until then(,) I will labor on
reading/writing(,) dusk to dawn,
building up my powers of pen
and starting books on chapter ten.
Especially love the rhymes in this stanza:
I've read a lot of poetry,
sonnets, haiku, potpourri;
sestinas, pantoums, villanelles,
and one writTEN without no Ls.
Also in this stanza---superb rhymes:
One day I'll be a famous author
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer
like Patterson in ev'ry genre
Aussies will say "Hey, Good on ya!"
This line is hilarious:
I'll print it out and wrap some fish.
Enjoyed the satirical humor in noting the accent in this line:
and one writTEN without no Ls.
Quite a fun post. Could use fine tuning on punctuation but I am giving five stars.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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This made me chuckle more than once. Clever satire. Well rhymed and inventive. Amusing...entertaining! And it sounds good read aloud. I do have a few punctuation suggestions, noted below:
No one will ever publish this,(; or . or --)
I'll print it out and wrap some fish.
Some stories have been nicely writ,
with punctuation all through it,
and words spelled close as they will get(,)
and plots--well, we're not quite there yet.
Line two in the above has one issue...stories is plural, so the word IT would be THEM...thus, the use of IT seems forced to fit the rhyme.
One day(,) I'll be a famous author(,)
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer(;)
like Patterson in ev'ry genre(,
Aussies will say(m,) "Hey, Good on ya!"
Until then(,) I will labor on
reading/writing(,) dusk to dawn,
building up my powers of pen
and starting books on chapter ten.
Especially love the rhymes in this stanza:
I've read a lot of poetry,
sonnets, haiku, potpourri;
sestinas, pantoums, villanelles,
and one writTEN without no Ls.
Also in this stanza---superb rhymes:
One day I'll be a famous author
like Dr. Seuss or Jeffy Chaucer
like Patterson in ev'ry genre
Aussies will say "Hey, Good on ya!"
This line is hilarious:
I'll print it out and wrap some fish.
Enjoyed the satirical humor in noting the accent in this line:
and one writTEN without no Ls.
Quite a fun post. Could use fine tuning on punctuation but I am giving five stars.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Wow! I really brought this one in on a crash cart. I learned in a poetry class, last millennium, that poems need punctuation too. I tend to forget that when reading so many haiku, senryu, and replies about missing punctuation. Thanks for plugging the holes, RD. Bill
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Happy to help! ;-) Thanks for your enthusiastic response. Best, rd
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fabulous write, well rhymed with funny quotes and superb metre Bill, I really enjoyed this poem and most of all I loved the sentiments, you have reached my heart from across the pond my fellow poet, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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A fabulous write, well rhymed with funny quotes and superb metre Bill, I really enjoyed this poem and most of all I loved the sentiments, you have reached my heart from across the pond my fellow poet, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Dolly, for the great review. Bill
Comment from meeshu
the trials and tribulations of a would be writer, I know them so well. it is the trying that is fun. at least I have my name on my drivers license. in case they need to identify the body. a fun write, Bill................meeshu
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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the trials and tribulations of a would be writer, I know them so well. it is the trying that is fun. at least I have my name on my drivers license. in case they need to identify the body. a fun write, Bill................meeshu
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Your name printed on an official government document. That?s the kind of notoriety that makes people. I used to be in the phone book. Thanks for giving this a look.
Comment from Raul1
I like this humorous poem. It is flat out hilarious. I think that you intend to make this poem funny or silly. I don't have a clue, but it is funny. It sounds like this person thought that he never writes well, but he does. Excellent poem. Funny and hilarious poem. Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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I like this humorous poem. It is flat out hilarious. I think that you intend to make this poem funny or silly. I don't have a clue, but it is funny. It sounds like this person thought that he never writes well, but he does. Excellent poem. Funny and hilarious poem. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Raul, for the kind review. Bill
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You're welcome.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem that sums up my dilemma too. I write and read most of my day away. There is no chance to sell any of my work and fame will maybe come when I am gone.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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A very well-written poem that sums up my dilemma too. I write and read most of my day away. There is no chance to sell any of my work and fame will maybe come when I am gone.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Sandra, for giving this a look. Aren?t you on the top of the heap for reviewing? I would need to read Moby Dick, Leaves of Grass, and Lord of the Rings to get near the top ten.
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Yes, I roughly do 40 plus reviews on Fanstory a day apart from all the other duties I have, from cleaning house, cooking or making three meals a day and baby sitting from time to time, all from the wheelchair. I wish I had the talent to paint nice pictures as well, but it is not given to me. Lol.
