Reviews from

This Time - That Time 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "What's Going On?"
Third book in the time travel trilogy

32 total reviews 
Comment from rwilliam
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WHOA! What a great chapter. I love this new twist. You keep me guessing and I like it/ hate it, LOL. :-))

As I was reading I was thinking about how creative you are. I like how your writer mind works, girl!!

Great chapter. Can't wait to read more.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
    Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, and wonderful review, Rebecca. You are always so kind and I really appreciate you reading my story. The next part will answer a few of Veronica's questions, but not all of them! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from DonandVicki
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I have always enjoyed time travel novels like the one by H. G. Wells and other writers your is very compelling and you pull me into the story with your dialogue.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
    Thank you so very much, Don and Vicki, for all those shiny stars! I enjoy reading time-travel stories too, and it seems I can't get away from them in my own writing. Even my YA Book about Eric is time-travel! lol. I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading this part, thank you for the lovely review. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Lady Jane
Excellent
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I could feel my heart as it pounded painfully against my ribs(.) (I) decided to lie quietly on the floor in the dim moonlit room for a few minutes until I'd worked out what had just happened. -edit suggestion

and saw the table Mildred liked to use as her (pantry), - did you mean 'pantry' here?

I smiled when I walked into the kitchen and saw the table Mildred liked to use as her 'pantry,' come everything, and 'cutting' board, although she was nowhere to be seen. - edit suggestion

The range I'd bought a little while after (moving) in stood solidly in the corner. - to eliminate one of the "I'd"s

Oh, snap... things aren't looking good for her, are they? This was an excellent installment filled with great detail and background info. It was written fluidly and clipped along with a nice, steady pace, Just a few nits I noted above, not required. Wow, something's amiss in the world of Mildred and Veronica...but what could it be? Until next installment,
janelle

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
    Thank you so much for this lovely review, Janelle, I'm delighted you enjoyed reading it.

    I did mean 'table' in that sentence, a 'pantry' is a walk in cupboard where you store food in which isn't the case here. A kitchen table in many homes is used for many things as well as sitting down and eating at. Women use it for preparing food on, the vegetables, making their pastry on for pies and tarts, to iron their clothes on, to play games on, to just sit and chat at... and many other things. Especially if a kitchen is small and doesn't have many units in. But it's quite common here even in large kitchens.

    I will definitely change the 'I'd moved in' to 'moving in' I didn't notice that I had the two -I'd- so close together. :))

    Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Excellent
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I am really enjoying this story! You are such a creative thinker and plotter. Not one single line has lost me or made me disinterested. Keep writing for all of us to enjoy. Love you characters.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2018
    Thank you so much for this really lovely review, C. Gale Burnett! I really appreciate your support. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Sugarray77
Excellent
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What a very good addition to This Time.... That..... I am following along and think you are doing a good job handling the confusion of writing about time travel. You make it appear seamless. Well done.

Melissa

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Thank you so much, Melissa, for this lovely review. I'm so pleased you are still enjoying it. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
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That would be upsetting being sent to a familiar place but not sure why. At least she's figured out the year. Your last statement the reality of what that implied made the room spin has my curiosity up, great place to end it. It's very well-written, interesting, your characters, thoughts, and action seem real. Look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Thank you, Misty, for this lovely review. The next part will answer many questions for Veronica. Big hugs, my friend :)) Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Very nice chapter here, Sandra. Adds intrigue to the plotting here. What, indeed, is going on?

decided to lie quietly on the floor in the dimly moon-lit room - I think this is a little awkward and think I'd go for dim, moonlit (one word) room.

I opened the cupboards, which thankfully, were full with the usual things - you may need another comma after which.

Now on auto-pilot, I went over to the cupboard - autopilot can be a single word.

Oh it's good to take the weight - Mildred normally clips to to t'.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Thank you again, Gareth, for another of your lovely, very helpful review. I've made the corrections. Now Veronica has to find out what has happened. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I can certainly identify with the thought behind your title - What's going on?
I'm assuming that the significance of 1996 will either become clear in the next chapter, or is something that I have missed earlier in the book.
Your description of Veronica piecing together clues gradually, to establish the time she has landed in, is well handled and entirely believable.
The down-to-earth character of Mildred is beautifully drawn and consistent from one chapter to the next. She is typical of a type of village woman that I remember from my youth in England - one that I imagine is fast disappearing these days.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, Tony, and another lovely review. Yes, 1996 is very relevant, it's the year she is living in with James and her children and the younger Mildred . Some of her questions will be answered in the next part. Not going to reveal any more!! lol. I'm so pleased you still enjoy this story, thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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You did a good job with this chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it and learning more about Veronica's inner thoughts. You used exceptional descriptive words in the details about the cottage. I admit I'm a little lost about the date 1996--but it is just me. I know you will fill in the info in the next chapter.

went to her wardrobe and looked inside. All that remained were [ was ] the coat hangers, so I could only assume it

Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
    Hi Jan, thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews. 1996 is the time she is living in reality with her husband James and her two children. Now she has just discovered she is back in her own time, but everything has changed. No husband, and no children. The next part will reveal some of the answers to the questions she will be asking Mildred.
    Thank you for pointing out that error,, I'm off to change that now! :)) Thanks my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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It sounds a little like those sliding doors instances, were if one had taken a different Route in life, where would they be. So Veronica finds things out of kilter, no James, no kids, could this be one of these moments, manipulating time. Well done. Great twist Sandra, blessings, Roy
Typo : We were (we're) about to go to bed.

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


reply by the author on 19-Nov-2018
    Roy! You are so clever!! You are the only one who picked that up. I've had a very close one, but not as close as you!! Well done. We will learn a lot more about what's going on in the next part. Thank you for picking up the extra word, my friend!! And a big hug for the lovely insightful review. :)) Sandra xx
reply by royowen on 19-Nov-2018
    Most welcome Sandra, good move.