The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Piper, part 30"Young Adult Fantasy
16 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Piper is going through a lot of changes. He does have a lot to get used to with the affection heaped on him.
There may be a typo here to check out:
"Yesterday's evens (events?) had left him feeling unsettled and drained."
Loved the ending of this chapter in which Piper sits down to play instead of going to the Moonbeam Meadow. Even the insects take notice.
Great job.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Piper is going through a lot of changes. He does have a lot to get used to with the affection heaped on him.
There may be a typo here to check out:
"Yesterday's evens (events?) had left him feeling unsettled and drained."
Loved the ending of this chapter in which Piper sits down to play instead of going to the Moonbeam Meadow. Even the insects take notice.
Great job.
Marilyn
Comment Written 04-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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HI Marilyn,
Thank you for catching that typo. Thanks or your analysis and encouraging comments.
Debi
p.s. I haven't seen anything of BOT in a while. Is he on vacation?
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Hi debi. Thank you for asking. I am on the verge of continuing. Took a little break. Marilyn
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I am glad to hear it. I look forward to reading it.
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Thank you.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Yesterday's evens (events)
I found that small nit, Debi.
This is a great Fairy story. I am trying to keep up with the stories even though my eye is in trouble. You have a great one going here my friend. I love peeking into this fabtasy world. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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Yesterday's evens (events)
I found that small nit, Debi.
This is a great Fairy story. I am trying to keep up with the stories even though my eye is in trouble. You have a great one going here my friend. I love peeking into this fabtasy world. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2020
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Hi Nancy,
I am so honored that you keep up with this story, especially when you are battling eye problems. I hope things improve for you soon.
Thank you for the wonderful six stars and for the encouraging comments.
Debi
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Sounds like Rupert is naturally helping Piper become more accustomed to the faerie realm. I like the way this omniscient point of view helps us see what Master Crescendo might be thinking upon hearing Piper play from a distance (if I read that right), before meeting him. Sounds like another good chapter.
Noticed one thing: The pixies stared dancing
I think you mean started
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Sounds like Rupert is naturally helping Piper become more accustomed to the faerie realm. I like the way this omniscient point of view helps us see what Master Crescendo might be thinking upon hearing Piper play from a distance (if I read that right), before meeting him. Sounds like another good chapter.
Noticed one thing: The pixies stared dancing
I think you mean started
Comment Written 04-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you for a great review. Rupert has been in the faerie realm for two weeks. For Piper it's only the second day, unless you count traveling with Redd-Leif and the enchanted wolf Sheba. He has a lot to get used to.
Thanks for catching the typo.
Debi
Comment from Cybertron1986
What a refreshing new story. It has much potential and excellent development from the start. As the reader just coming in, I found it very helpful on your approach of introducing the story by the inclusion of the previous chapter. From there, it made te story smooth and enjoyable. Very well done!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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What a refreshing new story. It has much potential and excellent development from the start. As the reader just coming in, I found it very helpful on your approach of introducing the story by the inclusion of the previous chapter. From there, it made te story smooth and enjoyable. Very well done!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind comments and the encouragement. I appreciate you taking the time to drop in and read my work.
Debi
Comment from Ricky1024
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you, Doctor Ricky 1024. I appreciate the encouraging remarks.
Debi
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed this chapter! I like your use of Piper's reflection on the boulder to not only get the reader to review but also to get more into his mind and the mix of emotions that he's struggling with now.
Typo: "Meldocia gave him a peck" (Melodica)
Suggestions:
"If it's a trick it is certainly and elaborate" ('an' not 'and' - also suggest a comma after 'trick'
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Enjoyed this chapter! I like your use of Piper's reflection on the boulder to not only get the reader to review but also to get more into his mind and the mix of emotions that he's struggling with now.
Typo: "Meldocia gave him a peck" (Melodica)
Suggestions:
"If it's a trick it is certainly and elaborate" ('an' not 'and' - also suggest a comma after 'trick'
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2020
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Thank you so much for catching those typos. I'm great at catching other people's, but I gloss right over them when I read my own work. I appreciate the encouraging comments. Thank you so much for your continued support.
Debi.
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I totally understand. I think our eyes are blind to our own spags! ☺
