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A Window On My World

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Time To Mow The Lawn"
Daily 5-7-5 simplicities for April Na-Po-Wri-Mo

16 total reviews 
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
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The poem presents the scenario that must be going on all over the world.
Let's cut the grass... oh, oh, no gas. Let's take a walk.. oh, oh, too many people on the street. Wow, what next?

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020

Comment from CrystieCookie999
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Brevity and humor shine through in this 4-stanza poem. I like the way it includes a very human view of mowing the grass. I think a sheep is not quite as docile and prone to graze as you might think. Although, of course, it would depend on the age. Sometimes sheep really want to go off on their own, too!

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020

Comment from RodG
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Again you remind me how far apart we are. My lawn is just starting to grow in early spring and yours needs to be shorn in late autumn. I, too, am not enthused about mowing. Oh, you're bored. You're back to using monorhyme. But that will appeal to most readers. Rod

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020

Comment from Praveen J.
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Well the antipodes are infamous for their unnatural love of goats and sheep, so I might have taken Panty Gent's advice with a pinch of salt. I'd be happier if your last verse was
Instead I have a goat
who's developed a sore throat
& now I must garrotte

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2020
    haha... i like your version of the last verse. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from JudyE
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Even being in isolation and looking for something to do, I still don't particularly want to cook and clean so I know what you're saying. We don't have lawn luckily and the roos keep the rest of the grass mown.

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 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2020
    I remember how the wallabies kept the lawn immaculately mown on the local gold course in Tassie when i worked there.
Comment from Pantygynt
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A goat might be more use and you can tether them moving the tether around to keep the lawn neat and prevent the ingestion of decorative plant life into the bargain. Sheep are somewhat indiscriminate and do not take kindly to lock down conditions.

As to form, this is another gem of a triple 5-7-5 or (15-21-15)รท3 as it is better known to those mathematically inclined.

It is great to sea that even the joy of the second stanza's rhyme is not only preserved but enhanced for US English speakers since them as say as also say grass. Whereas we Brits say petrol and that not only ruins the rhyme but plays hell with the syllable count into the bargain.

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 Comment Written 07-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 07-Apr-2020
    You are right about the goat, although i would have to move my clothesline... I couldn't twist a verse with using moat, stoat, coat, boat, gloat, afloat, antidote, or bloat... well, maybe I could but I had to keep it simple.
    Initially, I had 'ass' instead of 'arse', but I thought it was their turn to get their heads around Brit English instead of pandering to them.